Venting Suicide should have been something I kept to myself and always in the back of my mind

[ultrasharpy123456]

I was careless. It was my mistake. I should've known, should've been more in control, more aware. I should've worked the jobs and in the meantime should've just researched suicide methods. Not done anything yet. Just research. Just research and chill.

 

[アホペンギン]

Yeah I feel the same, I remember I think when I was about 13 years old (don't remember anymore, it was a long time ago) I yelled at my parents that I'd be dead before I turned 18 and that I was suicidal since I was 8 years old and then the whole family knew within a few hours that I wanted to ctb. That was stupid of me and now its affecting me even now, many years later. I wish I just kept my fucking mouth shut and maybe I wouldn't be here rn. My parents even manage my money now, as an adult I think thats very stupid but that is the consequence I face for 1) telling them I'm suicidal and 2) buying SN.

 

[ringo99]

Totally understand. I told my mom I was feeling suicidal and her solution was to force me to the gym for a couple of days and then blurt out to my aunts and everyone else about how I was feeling. It's the most mortified I ever felt in my life. This forum is the only safe space for me now