Discussion Suicide Preparation for Those Left Behind

[CoalmineCanary]

Hello friends;

thank you all for your compassionate support and patience.

I want to start organizing my final affairs before exiting. I have made plans, however I would appreciate some advice on how to prepare those left behind. I have explained that they should not be surprised to ever find me dead under the circumstances.

I have 5 people left who are close family members.

This past hospital visit started increasing the number of people that I wish to live for just for a few more months. I made promises I hope to be able to keep. I have already convinced a fellow patient that I am not a healthy person with my actions (sadly driven them away) but there are others and I do not wish to kill their sense of hope nor do I wish to increase the number of people in my life I feel an obligation or commitment to.

How do I prepare these new acquaintances and friends for my ironic future plans? How can I make this easier for my family?

I just want the least amount of pain and suffering my exit may cause others.

If you have had to cope with a loved one exiting, I also welcome your thoughts and insights.

Thank you.

 

[WornOutLife]

You can make everything easier by leaving your things such as personal info, devices, passwords, etc in order. Also, the method you'll use is important. The less traumatic, the better. For instance, it's not the same to find a body covered in blood in the shower than a body partially hanged.

Personal goodbye letters are a good idea too. Make sure to write or even record in video your feelings.

The key is that they understand that you're happy catching the bus and that we live together but we die alone.

 

[darksideofthebright]

You are a really caring person and I see where you are coming from.

Emotionally speaking, I have been trying to talk to my loved ones not about the future, but more about the past and bringing up a lot of lovely memories during conversations (with the hope that once I am gone, they can remember me by that instead of by my way of exiting this world). And to be honest, for people that care (even a bit about you) will be shocked by this news, so there's almost no way to help prepare them emotionally.

For the new acquaintances, in my case, I try to talk to them as much as I possibly can, listen to their stories and offer a hand with whatever they might need help with. If you could do that, it might be worth doing, just to support them (only if you have the mental and physical capability).

In my will/suicide note/(whatever you want to call it), I have also mentioned that no one is at fault and how people have brought me so much joy and I appreciated everyone. You could take that into considerations also, if you'd like.

Wish you the best and hope you can find away to minimise the pain for others, and for yourself also of course.

 

[CoalmineCanary]

you're happy catching the bus and that we live together but we die alone.

Thank you. This one phrase is able to sum up my sentiment.

You are a really caring person and I see where you are coming from.

For the new acquaintances, in my case, I try to talk to them as much as I possibly can, listen to their stories and offer a hand with whatever they might need help with. If you could do that, it might be worth doing, just to support them (only if you have the mental and physical capability).

Thank you for the suggestions and the kind words. Under the Covid circumstances, I am unable to visit the hospital and some patients do not have smart phones or use the internet. I have asked about delivery of cards and gifts but those too are resitricted.

Any creative ideas are welcome in this new Covid world.

Thank you.

 

[Minisreallove]

Even at your darkest you are thinking about other people. That is absolutely amazing. My suggestions are to leave them with a detailed note explaining why and telling them you love them and it's not their fault. I understand this may be difficult due to Covid restrictions but I personally still think it's the best way to lessen the pain of those left behind. Stay awesome and good luck no matter what your decision is.

 

[woxihuanni]

Good luck with your preparations.

That we die alone is not true, people who live together do not die alone. They die with their husband or wife and possibly offspring around them.

If it is any of use to you, unless you have a spouse who is deeply bonded with you, these people will get over it pretty quickly anyway.