Discussion Suicide notes - ideas and plans, anyone?

[OthelloToOblivion]

Anyone planning on writing a suicide note? and if so, what are you writing it about/on? I have written multiple to deal with instead of self harm (during summer, too much hassle), so anyone else planning of writing or has written one?

 

[worldexploder]

When the time comes I'm not sure if I'll write a note or not. If I do it won't be too long. I may write a short summery of my life and how it feels to be me and how I have the right to die.

 

[balancingaqt]

I carry mine on me everywhere I go. Just in case.

 

[Xerxes]

No note, people already know me as the guy that most likely will CTB

 

[humanity]

No note, people already know me as the guy that most likely will CTB

But does your family know about your reasons?They r not just people in general...

 

[Xerxes]

But does your family know about your reasons?They r not just people in general...

My wife knows, and my brother is nonexistent. My stepdad knows as well. 2 of these people don't care, and 1 is understanding.

 

[catwalk]

I've tried to write a suicide note multiple times, but I couldn't think of anything interesting other than just boring shit like "I couldn't take it anymore"

 

[Goldie]

I've tried to write a suicide note multiple times, but I couldn't think of anything interesting other than just boring shit like "I couldn't take it anymore"

Hello WakingNightmare, welcome.

Sometimes I feel exactly like you do. Some days I feel like I know what to say.

 

[NemoZeno]

I used to write them to the point it was annoyingly pathological.
The usual: who/what I blame, who I don't blame...it usually starts off with that venting.
Then I try to "console" the intended reader: forget about me as best as you can so you can move on then go to "tough love"/cliches to get them to resent me like "grow a pair. People have it worse than you. Move on and be thankful you still have a life with physical health. It gets better anyway (especially if you forget)."

I'm the opposite now. No traces: leave nothing sentimental behind.
When I go there will be no notes. I'm not going to leave any belongings like clothes or pictures (anything of monetary value one will be sold and the monies left).
I'm just going to die.

 

[TiredHorse]

I've written reams. Probably 50 pages of notes and post-ctb instructions, plus an entire instruction manual (110 pages?) for my wooden boat (prized posession). It's ridiculous, really, but as a professional writer it's hardly surprising.

 

[Moth]

My notes are usually written while I'm in the middle of an attempt so they're less than coherent. But they never explain why, they just say thankuou and I'm sorry. I guess if people want to know why they will look through my mountain of journals. Maybe I should sit town and write a proper note.

 

[OnlyMercy]

I have considered the use of notes before but I'm increasingly against the idea lately.

Those who know about the painful predicament I find myself in are those who matter and those who don't know, don't really matter.

Suffering is suffering, it matters little what form it takes so a note explaining the exact details of my pain won't do much to assist with grieving.

Say more by saying nothing at all.

 

[NemoZeno]

Say more by saying nothing at all.

I'm stealing this.

In a manner of speaking, more is definitely said by saying nothing. Just look at the holocaust, Armenian genocide, fuckery in China+Russia during 20th century.

 

[TheLastTrip]

I've written some to individuals in my life that I would send electronically at the time, however I am starting to think maybe making it look accidental would be advantageous. So the current plan is yes I am writing them, individual ones that focus more on pointing out the things I liked about that person and how I hope they carry on and do such and such they've always wanted to do. However once I have had a sleep I might start seriously considering the 'make it look accidental' angle.

 

[NemoZeno]

@TiredHorse @Moth

Only a suggestion but I vouch you immortalize yourself (if you care for that sort of thin) by publishing your writings online like

Mitchell Heisman
This link is harsh towards him (some are justifiable but YMMV) but it has several links to direct source at bottom and interesting commentary.

Or Will H. Moore

 

[MAIO]

When the time comes I'm not sure if I'll write a note or not. If I do it won't be too long. I may write a short summery of my life and how it feels to be me and how I have the right to die.

I am not writing a note. I feel I should leave a message too my ex fiancée so I will. You other than I am just checking out.

@TiredHorse @Moth

Only a suggestion but I vouch you immortalize yourself (if you care for that sort of thin) by publishing your writings online like

Mitchell Heisman
This link is harsh towards him (some are justifiable but YMMV) but it has several links to direct source at bottom and interesting commentary.

Or Will H. Moore

That link was pretty terrible-it literally lied(For instance Mitchell Heisman had a Ba degree from Harvard not Sunny) and asserted Absured notions-Like humans will always be superior to AI. -There are two way that is possible. 1)Their is something magical about the human brain 2) humans go extinct. Otherwise AI will surpass humans in evrey way. -far sooner than 1000 years with many famous scientist thinking within 50 years

 

[NemoZeno]

@MAIO I don't wholesale endorse that link. Like I said, it was harsh and I think that was a little unwarranted but whatever: the author is allowed such hostility.

I only linked

1. for the external links
2. I thought the commentary was "interesting" (neutral word) since it was another POV

 

[Norest4thewicked]

I have written three. Done them about two months ago. A close friend knows where they are when the time comes. One to my kids. They're over twenty now, I wanted them to know they are in no way to blame and that I love(ed) them. One to family and friends. A general explanation of my state. Maybe they'll understand if they see it written down. One to my wife. A brutally honest description of how I felt. Perhaps she'll listen to it. But if it's anything to do with my thoughts and feelings, probably not

 

[muretax]

I haven't written any. Whenever I'm attempting it's usually just a sentence or two explaining how I'm f'd in the head and no ones done anything to help so this is what comes of it.

I figured for when I actually do it, I'm thinking of a video of me talking so everyone can see me, need my voice and experience my shit personality as I explain how my life has been for me, what brought me to this point, and that no one is really at fault and there isn't much anyone could've done. I lost someone to suicide earlier this year, impulsive decision, no note so it's been very difficult to heal and not blame yourself.

I wanna be gone before Christmas I'm just trying to figure out exactly when since there's a few things to take into consideration and also what the hell im going to do with my twin sister since she'll be a damn mess.

 

[TAW122]

I think I'll write a note to the people I'm close to explaining my decision along with the reasoning, then consoling them that there isn't anything they could have done to prevent the inevitable and they are not the one at fault.

Then another note (for you guys here) explaining my right to die, condemning society and it's flaws (all names and location will be redacted of course), giving my real reasons (the things that I don't want the people around me IRL to know) for doing it. The reason for my other note here is that you guys are more open minded and rational enough to accept my reasoning and stuff, then also if there is anything that others may benefit from my note here or continue my battle/our battle well after my death, then it will all benefit us in the long run.

 

[Jen Erik]

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience and pain this will cause. Sincerely, Jen Erik"

I'm not sure there is much more for me to say. I spent the first half of the last decade being a publicly messy mentally ill fuck up, and the last half cleaning up my messes and making efforts to right the wrongs, and that for me is more important than any kind of departing words to the people I care about and who care about me. No one will be surprised when I ctb.

I did try writing something more substantive, but just wasn't getting anywhere. It was sounding too "me, me, me".

 

[MAIO]

@MAIO I don't wholesale endorse that link. Like I said, it was harsh and I think that was a little unwarranted but whatever: the author is allowed such hostility.

I only linked

1. for the external links
2. I thought the commentary was "interesting" (neutral word) since it was another POV

I wouldn't have an issue with a link if the writer did not lie to try to make his case more convincing and do most of the same things he accuses Hesiman of doing.

 

[Trashcan]

Yes. Mine is information like contact information for my work and my bank account information. I'm also giving a brief explanation of why I'm ctb (the whole story would be long) and making it as clear as I can that it's not their fault.

 

[rabid_squirrel]

The note will probably be, sorry I was born (the original:生まれて、すみません）
When I was much younger,I wrote a very long goodbye note.The older I get,the more I find words are just meaningless.Those who I love already know I love them,and the rest just don't matter.I don't care how people will think of my death.When you die,nothing matters.
My best friends have already known my intentions,they won't be surprised,as for my parents.I kinda get the evil satisfaction knowing they will have to share some of my pain.

 

[weedoge]

My notes are usually written while I'm in the middle of an attempt so they're less than coherent. But they never explain why, they just say thankuou and I'm sorry. I guess if people want to know why they will look through my mountain of journals. Maybe I should sit town and write a proper note.

I know this, one day after an attempt I made I found a note I had left which was scrawled in the messiest handwriting, 5 pages of apologising and an abrupt end when I fell asleep. I hope I don't end up leaving something like that when I really go.

I've said it before but I think I'll leave a novel length "note" detailing every event and feeling I can remember having a negative influence on me. I have an intense need for people to understand me and tell me maybe its not my fault, I also want people to understand that instead of anyone being guilt for putting me in the position I'm in now, nobody could have known because my grievances have been so odd and specific, I could never have made any improvement without me first becoming aware of myself. Then once I did it was too late.

I intend to spend the rest of my time alive writing and refining my note, it will be for everyone who has the patience to read it, I kind of see everything I create now as an addendum to my suicide note, everything in doing now is to leave something with substance before I leave. Pretentious as fuck and I almost wish I could have kept the "I don't care about anything and wish to be forgotten" mindset but.. I can't.

 

[weedoge]

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience and pain this will cause. Sincerely, Jen Erik"

I'm not sure there is much more for me to say. I spent the first half of the last decade being a publicly messy mentally ill fuck up, and the last half cleaning up my messes and making efforts to right the wrongs, and that for me is more important than any kind of departing words to the people I care about and who care about me. No one will be surprised when I ctb.

I did try writing something more substantive, but just wasn't getting anywhere. It was sounding too "me, me, me".

I felt the same way "sounding too me me me" but someone from the forum had the patience to read the entire thing. They told me it was a really "good" piece of writing and made me feel that it was worth saying. A suicide note is the most personally revealing thing you might ever write, there's nothing wrong with it being a bit focused on yourself.

 

[weedoge]

I have considered the use of notes before but I'm increasingly against the idea lately.

Those who know about the painful predicament I find myself in are those who matter and those who don't know, don't really matter.

Suffering is suffering, it matters little what form it takes so a note explaining the exact details of my pain won't do much to assist with grieving.

Say more by saying nothing at all.

I hate how logical this post sounds... I wish something was meaningful lol. Rather put my faith in the fake importance of a suicide note than something more destructive anyway.

 

[Rose]

I will likely send timed messages/emails to people outside of my family who have been a big part of my life, as long as I think it'd give them any sense of closure and/or keep them from worrying about me. These will be personalized (it's not very many people), explain my situation & reasonings, method, and finish off by thanking them & saying goodbye. These are people I care about or have cared about, I want them to know just how much they meant to me and what's happened. These will not be sent to people from ages ago, just current or extremely recent people.

My family knows enough, and I don't want them knowing the rest. The stuff related to them, they have been directly informed of, and have chosen to ignore & dismiss, writing it out again would just be dismissed yet again. They can live in denial, I just want out of here.
Physically (the note they'll see), I'll leave a note asking to have no funeral (or memorial of any kind), be cremated, and have my ashes spread in the mountains by someone completely external to the family. This doesn't matter hugely to me, I'll be dead, but them using my death as a reason to garner undeserved sympathy & attention (as well as "closure") when they were a major contributing factor makes me sick. They will do as they wish though, one way or another.

 

[Jen Erik]

A suicide note is the most personally revealing thing you might ever write, there's nothing wrong with it being a bit focused on yourself.

Thanks. I appreciate hearing that feedback.