Venting Suicide notes are so exhausting

[lostmilo]

I already definitely know that I don't want to leave ones for my family but I have a couple of really good long distance friends that I only get to see once a year and we have meet up planned during Christmas time so I dont just want to cbt and effectively ghost them (no pun intended). They already know how depressed I am though so if I was to suddenly stop replying they would assume the worst. I know I shouldn't have but I already promised one of them that I wouldn't cbt and im scared that if I do he might follow too beacause he has a history of attempts :/

I think I would basically just write an apology and tell them that there is truly nothing they could have have done as they often talk me through meltdowns but at the end of the day I'm a lost cause and no amount of talking can help me feel normal when I'm alone. I can't keep burdening random people like this and I'm sure they will have great futures without my constant negative rants about how shit life is bringing down the mood. I truly wish the best for them.

Sorry this was just a rant to get my thoughts out I really can't speak to anyone rn and this forum really helps me to find people who relate.

 

[SVEN]

I found it almost impossible to write one when I attempted (I was stopped by an intervention). I finished up writing, "I'm sorry, I just can't do this anymore". Really articulate, eh.

 

[LunarLight]

That's why I never finished mine. Hopefully I won't have to use it.