Suicide note.

[Heart Shards]

To Whom It May Concern: I've lived twenty-seven years, and I'm not impressed. The world's has shown its true colors. The depravity of people, People's inconsideration for others.

The truth is, people are flaky; they leave when they get what they want, or boredom sets. To others, I am no more than a pawn, a pawn they'll sacrifice to checkmate—achieve their own goals and desires. Who can blame someone for wanting to exit a world such as the one we all inhabit?

But those who kill themselves are selfish, aren't they? Yes. Those "selfish people" who suffered immensely, to such an apex, you would want to end your life too. Those "selfish people" that suffered not only physically, but mentally—both cases making each next breath increase in pain, misery, and dread. But it must be about you; am I wrong? Even my death won't be about me. It will be about people left to "pick up the pieces." "Why couldn't that person stick around, we miss her," they'll say. They won't give a shit, apart from my mother and father—they'll be screwed up for life, and I feel, in my last moments, dread for that upcoming situation.

Oh, I can see my funeral now. Everyone wearing black. People that had nothing to do with me in years, threw me to the fucking ground face first, didn't offer a hand to pull me back up, left me for dead. Well, they'll produce tears (I doubt authentic ones.) And they'll go on and on about how they could have done something to prevent my death—all the while not giving a shit. When I was alive, I didn't seem important. They will do anything to project themselves in the spotlight.

People will ask questions about the circumstances of my death, and I'll clear the air right now (you won't be able to get an interview from me about it later. My phone line will be… busy.) The first reason is mentioned above; the condition of the world, and how many abhorrent people occupy it. Maybe at one point we were human, but somewhere along the way we became animals. Most humans these days lack compassion. If someone is different, we laugh and mock them until they take their own lives. Look how many middle schoolers and high schoolers are pushed to their breaking point just because they don't follow the majority of brain-dead sheep. But life is a gift, right?

Another reason is I have no quality of life, and life by its nature takes everything away from you. It took people I loved; it robbed opportunities away from me (many, I had no say so because of how I was born.) But it gives too: misery, dread, mind numbing jobs, sickness, infinite responsibilities—depressed people are too tired for that jazz. Even when I was employed at my last intellectual aneurysm of a job, I was told that I was inadequate; I didn't make their "cut."

My life has gotten to a point where I can't continue. I'm a social reject, a mockery, a spectacle—that's why people want me to keep living. Maybe life is a gift when you laugh and enjoy your life at someone else's expense. And I won't even touch why the medical community and big pharma want you to live. It would too many pages, but I can wrap it up in one word: money.

So, I'm going to lie on this bed, in a hotel room, and swallow my poison, waiting for death to deliver me from an odious world. My last thoughts turn to possibilities of where life might have gone. Could my writing could have been successful? Maybe. But I'm too tired to stick around and wrestle with life. The last transition in thought is towards God. Will he reject me because I couldn't wait till Christmas to open my present, that the remaining forty years was too painful of a time to wait? I hope He accepts me into heaven; I had his Son, Jesus, in my heart—and that's better odds than if I didn't.

So, I'm checking myself out, aware of my consequences, making a rational decision although most society disagrees with that sentiment. As for my mom and dad, stay strong, live life the best you can. It's been twenty-seven years; we had a decent run. I love the both of you with all my capacity.


What does everyone think? Can't really ask my editor to go over it; I might get locked up in the ward. Maybe it's edgy, but it's my genuine feelings.

 

[maru.]

First of all, it's really obvious from this note that the world has been miserably unkind to you, there's nothing i can say to change that unfortunately, but know this, i'm so sorry, and i'm sure you didn't deserve the things you had to go through, all of the things that pushed you to the edge.

Now, i think it's hard to give a note a critique, which i imagine is what you sort of asked for in the last line there, it's just something that is too personal, if i talked about the points made we wouldn't be discussing the note, but our own perspectives on life and the world, that would leave the note itself in the background, which i imagine isn't the point behind the thread.

For a more objetive critique tho, like, i hate to be "that person", but since it's clear that you're really into writing, i imagine this is something you value, so i'll point it out so you can fix it if you desire.
I think there are spelling and semantic mistakes in these parts:

It would too many pages

Could my writing could have been successful?

Pretty simple actually, normal thing to do when we write longer things, especially things that i'm sure are difficult to write, like a suicide note.
btw, i really like you're writing, it's a shame you didn't have the success you desired with it, it really is a pity, because it seems like you enjoy it very much.
Considering that you've written a note already, i imagine you've also made up your mind.
Just know that we respect whatever decision you take, and that even tho you wrote this note, you can always change your mind, and no one here will judge you, we'll support you no matter what.
I really hope that, even with the poor way the world outside treated you, you can at the very least feel loved here, you deserve that love.

 

[Stavrogin]

The truth is, people are flaky; they leave when they get what they want, or boredom sets. To others, I am no more than a pawn, a pawn they'll sacrifice to checkmate—achieve their own goals and desires. Who can blame someone for wanting to exit a world such as the one we all inhabit?

If you are a Christian then the doctrine of the fall explains why the world is the way it is.

So, I'm going to lie on this bed, in a hotel room, and swallow my poison, waiting for death to deliver me from an odious world. My last thoughts turn to possibilities of where life might have gone. Could my writing could have been successful? Maybe. But I'm too tired to stick around and wrestle with life. The last transition in thought is towards God. Will he reject me because I couldn't wait till Christmas to open my present, that the remaining forty years was too painful of a time to wait? I hope He accepts me into heaven; I had his Son, Jesus, in my heart—and that's better odds than if I didn't.

If you do have Jesus in your heart then I would advise you not to do this. If I possessed knowledge of God, specifically the Christian God , then I would not ctb.

 

[maru.]

btw, just read the other thread you've posted a few days ago.
So it seems like you're getting a book published, maybe being successful is still a possibility, and that's truly wonderful, i hope it happens.
Maybe you could live off your writing if this book takes off, we'll be cheering you on!

 

[Heart Shards]

First of all, it's really obvious from this note that the world has been miserably unkind to you, there's nothing i can say to change that unfortunately, but know this, i'm so sorry, and i'm sure you didn't deserve the things you had to go through, all of the things that pushed you to the edge.

Now, i think it's hard to give a note a critique, which i imagine is what you sort of asked for in the last line there, it's just something that is too personal, if i talked about the points made we wouldn't be discussing the note, but our own perspectives on life and the world, that would leave the note itself in the background, which i imagine isn't the point behind the thread.

For a more objetive critique tho, like, i hate to be "that person", but since it's clear that you're really into writing, i imagine this is something you value, so i'll point it out so you can fix it if you desire.
I think there are spelling and semantic mistakes in these parts:




Pretty simple actually, normal thing to do when we write longer things, especially things that i'm sure are difficult to write, like a suicide note.
btw, i really like you're writing, it's a shame you didn't have the success you desired with it, it really is a pity, because it seems like you enjoy it very much.
Considering that you've written a note already, i imagine you've also made up your mind.
Just know that we respect whatever decision you take, and that even tho you wrote this note, you can always change your mind, and no one here will judge you, we'll support you no matter what.
I really hope that, even with the poor way the world outside treated you, you can at the very least feel loved here, you deserve that love.

Writer's aren't perfect; we have editors. Critique is a discipline of writing. If criticism gets under your skin, choose a different profession. Thanks, Maru. No hard feelings. It's what i asked for.

btw, just read the other thread you've posted a few days ago.
So it seems like you're getting a book published, maybe being successful is still a possibility, and that's truly wonderful, i hope it happens.
Maybe you could live off your writing if this book takes off, we'll be cheering you on!

I have doubts it will do well.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Writer to writer, excellent letter.

I edit.

they'll be screwed up for life, and I feel, in my last moments, dread for that upcoming situation.

Suggest changing to, "and in my last moments I feel dread for that upcoming situation"

And they'll go on and on about how they could have done something to prevent my death—all the while not giving a shit. When I was alive, I didn't seem important. They will do anything to project themselves in the spotlight.

Giving a shit could be made more clear, that giving a shit when you were alive would have been what mattered. Also, I think you mean protect themselves in the spotlight? Reminds me of a Montaigne quote:


It is a rare life that maintains its good order even in private. Everyone can play his role and act the honest man on the stage; but to be well-managed within, in his own breast, where everything is allowed and where everything is hidden – that is the point. The next closest thing is to be this way in your house, in your ordinary behavior, for which you are accountable to no one, and where there is nothing studied or artificial.

Montaigne, Of Repentance (1580)

Paragraph on kids who suicide. I felt like more comes after, like you left something out.

Overall, if you give a shit, just check over punctuation (so minor, like periods outside or in of parentheses). Most don't even notice that stuff. Probably only people who were trained in editing and were afterwards forever ruined for not seeing typos and punctuation errors on billboards. Awareness can bring irritations and burdens in so many ways, yeah?

Thank you for sharing. It was a brilliant final say for a writer. Loved the intellectual aneurism, the busy phone line, the funeral. The funeral could have slightly more detail/punch. It's very close, perhaps like with the school kids thing there's something you haven't revealed. Be bold? Reveal it?

 

[Brokenwithbpd]

To Whom It May Concern: I've lived twenty-seven years, and I'm not impressed. The world's has shown its true colors. The depravity of people, People's inconsideration for others.

The truth is, people are flaky; they leave when they get what they want, or boredom sets. To others, I am no more than a pawn, a pawn they'll sacrifice to checkmate—achieve their own goals and desires. Who can blame someone for wanting to exit a world such as the one we all inhabit?

But those who kill themselves are selfish, aren't they? Yes. Those "selfish people" who suffered immensely, to such an apex, you would want to end your life too. Those "selfish people" that suffered not only physically, but mentally—both cases making each next breath increase in pain, misery, and dread. But it must be about you; am I wrong? Even my death won't be about me. It will be about people left to "pick up the pieces." "Why couldn't that person stick around, we miss her," they'll say. They won't give a shit, apart from my mother and father—they'll be screwed up for life, and I feel, in my last moments, dread for that upcoming situation.

Oh, I can see my funeral now. Everyone wearing black. People that had nothing to do with me in years, threw me to the fucking ground face first, didn't offer a hand to pull me back up, left me for dead. Well, they'll produce tears (I doubt authentic ones.) And they'll go on and on about how they could have done something to prevent my death—all the while not giving a shit. When I was alive, I didn't seem important. They will do anything to project themselves in the spotlight.

People will ask questions about the circumstances of my death, and I'll clear the air right now (you won't be able to get an interview from me about it later. My phone line will be… busy.) The first reason is mentioned above; the condition of the world, and how many abhorrent people occupy it. Maybe at one point we were human, but somewhere along the way we became animals. Most humans these days lack compassion. If someone is different, we laugh and mock them until they take their own lives. Look how many middle schoolers and high schoolers are pushed to their breaking point just because they don't follow the majority of brain-dead sheep. But life is a gift, right?

Another reason is I have no quality of life, and life by its nature takes everything away from you. It took people I loved; it robbed opportunities away from me (many, I had no say so because of how I was born.) But it gives too: misery, dread, mind numbing jobs, sickness, infinite responsibilities—depressed people are too tired for that jazz. Even when I was employed at my last intellectual aneurysm of a job, I was told that I was inadequate; I didn't make their "cut."

My life has gotten to a point where I can't continue. I'm a social reject, a mockery, a spectacle—that's why people want me to keep living. Maybe life is a gift when you laugh and enjoy your life at someone else's expense. And I won't even touch why the medical community and big pharma want you to live. It would too many pages, but I can wrap it up in one word: money.

So, I'm going to lie on this bed, in a hotel room, and swallow my poison, waiting for death to deliver me from an odious world. My last thoughts turn to possibilities of where life might have gone. Could my writing could have been successful? Maybe. But I'm too tired to stick around and wrestle with life. The last transition in thought is towards God. Will he reject me because I couldn't wait till Christmas to open my present, that the remaining forty years was too painful of a time to wait? I hope He accepts me into heaven; I had his Son, Jesus, in my heart—and that's better odds than if I didn't.

So, I'm checking myself out, aware of my consequences, making a rational decision although most society disagrees with that sentiment. As for my mom and dad, stay strong, live life the best you can. It's been twenty-seven years; we had a decent run. I love the both of you with all my capacity.


What does everyone think? Can't really ask my editor to go over it; I might get locked up in the ward. Maybe it's edgy, but it's my genuine feelings.

I love it

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Seems like a thoughtful note. No obvious problems with it, so it's up to you to decide whether or not it conveys what you want it to convey.

 

[Heart Shards]

Seems like a thoughtful note. No obvious problems with it, so it's up to you to decide whether or not it conveys what you want it to convey.

It says all the things I was too timid to say in life. Just getting my shit together, so when it's my day to go, I won't have to rush.

 

[Azzy69]

Thank you. That needed to be said

Could my writing could have been successful?

One thing tho. I'd just change this sentence to, "could my writing have been successful?"

 

[Heart Shards]

Thank you. That needed to be said

One thing tho. I'd just change this sentence to, "could my writing have been successful?"

Honestly, I feel a thousand pounds lighter now that I wrote and read it.

 

[Azzy69]

Honestly, I feel a thousand pounds lighter now that I wrote and read it.

Hahahaha

 

[Deleted member 17949]

It says all the things I was too timid to say in life. Just getting my shit together, so when it's my day to go, I won't have to rush.

a note is really about giving and finding closure, so I think you've done a good job here. I would rather you didn't have to leave at all, but if it comes down to it this note will be fine I'm sure.

 

[Heart Shards]

a note is really about giving and finding closure, so I think you've done a good job here. I would rather you didn't have to leave at all, but if it comes down to it this note will be fine I'm sure.

Yeah. It's rather cold though. But it's raw; it's how I feel ninety percent of the time.