Discussion Suicide music

[tony.end]

Hi guys, there's this album I'm quite addicted to, but whenever I listen to it my suicide thoughts intensify and grow closer and more real. Do you think the music helps us reconnect with ourselves or it just clouds our minds and divert us somewhere we may not actually belong.
I've been depressed for 3 years and I've been suicidal for at least the past year, even if it feels like forever. I still have a doubt about few things, but I might to a different thread about it.


This is the music that haunts me so deeply.
I'll turn 18 in a few months and I was considering buying a gun on the deep web. Gun-shooting is probably one of the safest ways.
Since this is my first thread I took some time to say few things about me. I'm from Europe, I'm probably an Aspie; I did several tests throughout my life and they all were positive by far, even though I haven't been diagnosed because I never share (unless anonymously). That doesn't bother me, it would be the sanest thing of me. I play piano and when I wasn't a soulless ghost passing by I used to dream of becoming a composer.
The motives of my suicide intention are diverse and articulate, I don't feel like going through them right now.
I don't feel like going through anything right now.

 

[misunderst0od]

sad by xxxtentacion. His entire album actually.

 

[tony.end]

sad by xxxtentacion. His entire album actually.

I listened to it just yesterday. It's pretty good but it doesn't hit me the same as this music.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

OP that track is very emotional thanks for sharing it. When I had depression I used to listen A LOT to Blackmill especially the track Friend, Let it be, Miracle, Fortune Soul. I listened to these songs from I was 17.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Also OP where are you from I am from Denmark.

 

[ReleaseMe]

@op
I vaguely remember seeing this movie when I was like 14 or something. I need to rewatch it because I liked it a lot

 

[tony.end]

I'm from Italy. I think I will be listening to the whole soundtrack before CTB. It's really beautiful. I'm gonna check those tracks out, thank you for sharing.
@relaseme please do watch it again it's a tremendous movie. Plus the first time it's hard to catch up. Definitely it's a movie to see more than 1 time

 

[ReleaseMe]

Thank you for the heads up tony.end

I will watch it again

 

[tipsyczar]

at the risk of sounding like an edgy 12 year old, I'd reccomend hollywood undead. here's some of their better tracks, but if that's all your after, for the love of god don't look at the rest of their discography.



(+1 for this in particular)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Mt8kuqPmFI

 

[Mr2004]

Hi guys, there's this album I'm quite addicted to, but whenever I listen to it my suicide thoughts intensify and grow closer and more real. Do you think the music helps us reconnect with ourselves or it just clouds our minds and divert us somewhere we may not actually belong.
I've been depressed for 3 years and I've been suicidal for at least the past year, even if it feels like forever. I still have a doubt about few things, but I might to a different thread about it.


This is the music that haunts me so deeply.
I'll turn 18 in a few months and I was considering buying a gun on the deep web. Gun-shooting is probably one of the safest ways.
Since this is my first thread I took some time to say few things about me. I'm from Europe, I'm probably an Aspie; I did several tests throughout my life and they all were positive by far, even though I haven't been diagnosed because I never share (unless anonymously). That doesn't bother me, it would be the sanest thing of me. I play piano and when I wasn't a soulless ghost passing by I used to dream of becoming a composer.
The motives of my suicide intention are diverse and articulate, I don't feel like going through them right now.
I don't feel like going through anything right now.

This film is underrated as hell. It's a work of art

 

[tony.end]

This film is underrated as hell. It's a work of art

definitely, It's the movie with the best editing I've ever seen. Take a listen at the album soundtrack also, to me it's the strongest music I've ever listened to.
I really appreciate that other people shared some songs that mean a lot for them as well btw, but honestly I didn't enjoy them much. The soundtrack of this movie is a completely different thing, it bring me the closest I can to myself, and I find that frightening because when I listen to it I just really want to CTB, while I have something that holds me still, that is I really don't want to hurt the few people around me (mainly family). I don't even enjoy such music, I just experience it and it's beautiful but on the other hand I try to avoid it because it really hurts me.

 

[GoneSeptember2018]

 

[tony.end]

thanks for sharing. It's really beautiful. That reminded me a little of my favorite album(The one I shared is just music while this one is an indie band). It's called Hospice by The Antler, it's really beautiful, here's a link of the album

If you don't want to listen to the whole thing (it's like 50 minutes), please take a listen at this one track at least . It's wonderful. I advise you to pair it with the lyrics because sometimes they're quite indistinguishable

 

[weedoge]

not a pro-suicide or even pro-choice song but more the story of torment that someone goes through when there's nothing you can do to help. I know I've put many of my old friends through this but I'm too done to change it. Love the song though it holds a special place in my heart. Love the band in general too.

 

[tony.end]

not a pro-suicide or even pro-choice song but more the story of torment that someone goes through when there's nothing you can do to help. I know I've put many of my old friends through this but I'm too done to change it. Love the song though it holds a special place in my heart. Love the band in general too.

that's a very nice song
@GoneSeptember2018 do you know Fourth of July by Sufjan Stevens? He wrote it for her mother who was dying of cancer. The mood is gorgeous

 

[Death_From_Above]

Nick Cave... Nobody captures the feels of CTB like him...

This is just from one of his later albums, he has so many songs that gets me right where it hurts...



or

 

[Death_From_Above]

Nick Cave... Nobody captures the feels of CTB like him...

This is just from one of his later albums, he has so many songs that gets me right where it hurts...



or

This album was produced after his son's passing, who had tried LSD for the first time and fell off a cliff to his death...

 

[weedoge]

This album was produced after his son's passing, who had tried LSD for the first time and fell off a cliff to his death...

Ouch, yet you get all these delirious psych-heads who will tell you adamantly that LSD saves lives every time!!! sorry I have a strong bitterness towards people who sing the praises of hallucinogens endlessly without mentioning their negative effects.

 

[Death_From_Above]

And this... Sorry, I'll stop spamming, but this is SO beautiful...

 

[Death_From_Above]

Ouch, yet you get all these delirious psych-heads who will tell you adamantly that LSD saves lives every time!!! sorry I have a strong bitterness towards people who sing the praises of hallucinogens endlessly without mentioning their negative effects.

I'm very pro-psychedelics... Accidents happen, and I believe the potential for good severely outweighs tragedies like this.

How many people go hiking and fall to their deaths?

Accidents happen

 

[tony.end]

I'll take a listen to these, I love Nick Cave. But please guys do not ignore the Antlers' stuff I suggested earlier That album means a lot to me, It's my closest to that CTB feel next to the STAY's OST

 

[tony.end]

I'm very pro-psychedelics... Accidents happen, and I believe the potential for good severely outweighs tragedies like this.

How many people go hiking and fall to their deaths?

Accidents happen

you tried sometime? I just tried joints but I'm not fond of the mood, it's kinda soft and many people make it cringey as fuck

 

[weedoge]

I'm very pro-psychedelics... Accidents happen, and I believe the potential for good severely outweighs tragedies like this.

How many people go hiking and fall to their deaths?

Accidents happen

I'm not even trying to say they're bad and I know I'm clutching at straws saying that the psychs necessarily caused this. I just have a strong bitterness because I was good friends with someone who took far too many hallucinogens, including stuff like 2-cb and more. He got me to try LSD and while we were both tripping he deliberately tried to trip me out but I won't bore you with details and hijack this thread. He was extremely delusional as a result of all these psychs, extremely paranoid and angry all the time and it ended up with him sitting on top of his bf (my best friend at the time) and screaming in his face "kill me kill me kill me!" repeatedly that the neighbours could hear and I had no idea what to do, being a guest and all.

He was a very mean and selfish person the entire time I knew him but he justified it by saying he was killing his ego, projecting astrally and that he was a being of pure love. It was such a bs experience and forever tainted my view on that stuff. Not saying I think there are no positives but I think there is a way drugs can be medicinalised(?) and generally self medicating doesn't always work out how you intended. but agree to disagree ^^

 

[weedoge]

I'll take a listen to these, I love Nick Cave. But please guys do not ignore the Antlers' stuff I suggested earlier That album means a lot to me, It's my closest to that CTB feel next to the STAY's OST

Sorry I'm half afk cleaning my room right now, I'll listen to everything in this thread in succession :)

 

[weedoge]

I'm my own worst enemy, I've given up ..... Thought I was focused but I'm scared, I'm not prepared.

RIP Chester tbqh

 

[Death_From_Above]

I'll take a listen to these, I love Nick Cave. But please guys do not ignore the Antlers' stuff I suggested earlier That album means a lot to me, It's my closest to that CTB feel next to the STAY's OST

Listening to it now, I like it

 

[Amy Ulrich]

Most of the music that makes you feel sad is good and helpful for your emotions. But there can be an exception, if the lyrics say to your mind that it is completely useless anyway, or if it is a song that has something additionally personal like make you remember that someone else died.

 

[weedoge]

thanks for sharing. It's really beautiful. That reminded me a little of my favorite album(The one I shared is just music while this one is an indie band). It's called Hospice by The Antler, it's really beautiful, here's a link of the album

If you don't want to listen to the whole thing (it's like 50 minutes), please take a listen at this one track at least . It's wonderful. I advise you to pair it with the lyrics because sometimes they're quite indistinguishable

Just listened to kettering and it almost got me crying tbh. :(

 

[GoneSeptember2018]

that's a very nice song
@GoneSeptember2018 do you know Fourth of July by Sufjan Stevens? He wrote it for her mother who was dying of cancer. The mood is gorgeous

Thank you for recommending Antlers. I listened and liked it so much I may listen to it on my last day. And yes! I've heard "Fourth of July," Sufjan has written a lot of tracks about his mother. I guess they didn't have the best relationship. Funny how hardship can bear such precious fruit.

 

[satou]

I don't listen to lyrics too much... but I thought some of you might appreciate this album: