Suicide is my only future

[Deadunicorn]

I've been thinking a lot lately and I've realized that the only real future I see for myself now days is suicide. I used to have such big hopes and dreams for myself, even when I was depressed and suicidal. However, now I can't think of anything to do with my life other than to kill myself. I honestly don't know what I would do if I don't ctb soon. Can anyone relate?

 

[Donewith_]

You sound like me.
I have no choice either.

 

[glk]

Having nothing to do. Yep, that's something I can relate to.

 

[262653]

Omg, yes, almost. I'm SO exhilarated when thinking about death, that I'm going to die eventually anyway but can try to accomplish it sooner, I'm clapping my hands in anticipation of practicing methods and my smile doesn't want to go off my face, SO excited it starts to annoy. Maybe that's just tea.

 

[Baskol1]

People will tell you how life will get better, but this is not always the case. Or that you can achieve anything you want in life. Of course thats a lie too. No, sometimes life is really hopeless, and death can be an option. Altough it should be the last.

 

[Susan Caswell]

I've been thinking a lot lately and I've realized that the only real future I see for myself now days is suicide. I used to have such big hopes and dreams for myself, even when I was depressed and suicidal. However, now I can't think of anything to do with my life other than to kill myself. I honestly don't know what I would do if I don't ctb soon. Can anyone relate?

And me but I would never have considered this if I hadn't come down with deafening jet plane roaring hammering tinnitus 2 years solid non stop I was so fit so healthy so happy lovely life everything I could want but its made me so very ill the anxiety of it is crippling no quiet no peace no calm its dementing I am damned if I will end up insane but its driving me crazy just wish there was one pill fatal finished this is a lot harder than I ever thought possible but then never had any need to consider such a thing surely you can overcome this I cant think of anything other than this would have made me want to die its so cruel so unfair I am at the end of what I can tolerate im on 11 night no sleep ive not slept naturally in 2 years and now sleeping pill given up I have to get this stopped or step off this planet but soon now frightend very frightend wish I could pay someone to do it for me I cant even take care of this myself

 

[shelledone]

Yes, I used to have "dreams" but I'm done. My mind is just too broken, I realize that too much now. I've never belonged. I've reached the limits of my potential; striving further has resulted in more scars and none of the optimistic "growth." All I want is a peaceful way out.

 

[Baskol1]

Yes, I used to have "dreams" but I'm done. My mind is just too broken, I realize that too much now. I've never belonged. I've reached the limits of my potential; striving further has resulted in more scars and none of the optimistic "growth." All I want is a peaceful way out.

There is no peaceful way out. Well atleast it is unlikely you will have access to suicide pills. But it is not impossible, just very, very hard.

 

[pole]

Yes, I used to have "dreams" but I'm done. My mind is just too broken, I realize that too much now. I've never belonged. I've reached the limits of my potential; striving further has resulted in more scars and none of the optimistic "growth." All I want is a peaceful way out.

best bet is getting you're hands on nembutal. but with A laying hard, you'd have to wait it out sadly. im in the same boat as well.

 

[Susan Caswell]

Yes, I used to have "dreams" but I'm done. My mind is just too broken, I realize that too much now. I've never belonged. I've reached the limits of my potential; striving further has resulted in more scars and none of the optimistic "growth." All I want is a peaceful way out.

So sorry so sad but if your physically well you can survive this I am only like this because I just cant stand the constant deafening noise and its made me so ill but I understand your pain I want to go really need to now its not easy though is it x

 

[letmeseethedeath]

I've been thinking a lot lately and I've realized that the only real future I see for myself now days is suicide. I used to have such big hopes and dreams for myself, even when I was depressed and suicidal. However, now I can't think of anything to do with my life other than to kill myself. I honestly don't know what I would do if I don't ctb soon. Can anyone relate?

i totally agree. i can't think to make my future better. i can only see my self dead in the future

 

[Baskol1]

I dont have many hopes either. I will probably not kill myself this year, maybe not next year, but if my life will never improve, or even worsen. Then i will kill myself someday. It doesnt even have to Look like a suicide.

 

[Saga]

I've been thinking a lot lately and I've realized that the only real future I see for myself now days is suicide. I used to have such big hopes and dreams for myself, even when I was depressed and suicidal. However, now I can't think of anything to do with my life other than to kill myself. I honestly don't know what I would do if I don't ctb soon. Can anyone relate?

i am the same a couple of months ago suicide was not on my mind...ive been depressed and suicidal for a long time..a month ago all my hopes and dreams just disappeared in a blink of an eye..and it was all my fault...now i can only see suicide as a future nothing more

 

[thrwaway99]

Can relate. But it doesn't have to be suicide it could be overdose, a gentler option but equally valid.

 

[Mbound]

Same. I don't have a future. My future is to die before I can be even more disappointing.

 

[LifeOver]

Same for me. I have reached the point that I have realized those so called "dreams" are impossible in this world. I want suicide to be future too, but even that is turning out to be a fantasy.

 

[Numbtopain97]

Same here

 

[Deadunicorn]

People will tell you how life will get better, but this is not always the case. Or that you can achieve anything you want in life. Of course thats a lie too. No, sometimes life is really hopeless, and death can be an option. Altough it should be the last.

Ugh I've heard this all my life and I'm sick of it

 

[NotMemorableEnough]

Can relate even when my life gets better I forcefully make it worse for myself, so i can finally get to the point again where I don't care about the pain.