littlepillbox
Member
- Mar 4, 2019
- 25
i know a lot of you here want to ctb from chronic mental and/or physical illness, feeling hopeless from lack of options, etc.
i've been suicidal since i was very young. i have aspergers, BPD, and i'm a survivor of CSA and multiple assaults, all of which have contributed to my suicidal ideations
BUT, i've gone through a lot of therapy and none of those those things really bother me as much as how much I actively hate myself. like, I am the problem and there's nothing I can do to change that.
a lot of my friends and acquaintances are open about their histories and experiences with being suicidal, but they still find time to create art.
i'm too afraid of failure to ever show what i work on to people, and i don't even create anymore because I hate everything I produce.
i don't self-harm (besides cigarettes, which i started specifically as a SH measure) but i really just want to end my existence because i feel like a drain on resources and a net negative.
DAE feel this way?
i've been suicidal since i was very young. i have aspergers, BPD, and i'm a survivor of CSA and multiple assaults, all of which have contributed to my suicidal ideations
BUT, i've gone through a lot of therapy and none of those those things really bother me as much as how much I actively hate myself. like, I am the problem and there's nothing I can do to change that.
a lot of my friends and acquaintances are open about their histories and experiences with being suicidal, but they still find time to create art.
i'm too afraid of failure to ever show what i work on to people, and i don't even create anymore because I hate everything I produce.
i don't self-harm (besides cigarettes, which i started specifically as a SH measure) but i really just want to end my existence because i feel like a drain on resources and a net negative.
DAE feel this way?