Relief

Relief

Member
Oct 14, 2019
41
I truly believe that dying is the next step in my life. I have no negative feelings towards my departure. I acknowledge that my life is shit (for the lack of a better word) but i do not see suicide as an escape from the pain. I see it as part of my life's natural progression (suicide not death) . Obviously, i'm slightly scared about what comes after but extremely happy as i feel like my body is a limitation for my "self" (i'm not spiritual (or trans) although this sounded awfully delusional). Does anyone feel the same way?
 
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trynacbt

trynacbt

Arcanist
Sep 28, 2019
476
I feel similarly in that I think I am meant to take my own life. I too feel happy/excited when I think about it, although it's very hard for me to leave certain people behind. I have ideas about what the after life might be, and I'm trying to think of it as a win-win situation... that if there is an after life, it can only bring more opportunity for betterment/experiences, and that if there isn't, I won't know it.
 
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ronigail9

Student
Oct 5, 2019
156
I also feel like suicide is part of my journey. I'm ready to go. I feel the bulk of my life lessons are over here in this life. I have had many different kinds of experiences to indicate this. I am at peace with it. People do not understand.
 
AnnonyBox

AnnonyBox

Specialist
Apr 11, 2018
334
Are you Buddhist, by any chance? There's something in Buddhism about distancing oneself from the 'self' and seeing death as part of a journey, I think? I never claimed to be an expert on world religions, though. At least you've managed to be at peace with the decision, we all deserve any small comforts we can find, anymore.
 
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ronigail9

Student
Oct 5, 2019
156
S
Are you Buddhist, by any chance? There's something in Buddhism about distancing oneself from the 'self' and seeing death as part of a journey, I think? I never claimed to be an expert on world religions, though. At least you've managed to be at peace with the decision, we all deserve any small comforts we can find, anymore.
studying bhuddism has certainly influenced me. I have eliminated most of my attachments to things - even my own body
 
AnnonyBox

AnnonyBox

Specialist
Apr 11, 2018
334
Out of personal curiosity, did you find any beliefs or practices in Buddhism which made you feel genuinely happy? I gave up attachments to just about everything, and yet I still feel mental anguish.
 
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Sickman75

Sickman75

Swing On The Spiral
Jan 27, 2019
572
Out of personal curiosity, did you find any beliefs or practices in Buddhism which made you feel genuinely happy? I gave up attachments to just about everything, and yet I still feel mental anguish.
Ever listen to Watts? Hundreds of lectures in YT
 
Lokd26

Lokd26

Member
Oct 20, 2019
27
I feel quite similar about this. I'm thinking that this is the next step in life to not only end suffering, but to begin a new journey.
 
Z

Zer031

Member
Aug 29, 2019
13
Out of personal curiosity, did you find any beliefs or practices in Buddhism which made you feel genuinely happy? I gave up attachments to just about everything, and yet I still feel mental anguish.
Same here, dude, actually i have a friend that practice a more espiritual way of living and he says that the answers he was searching for a long time, thanks to that, he could find them. Actually im exploring this kinds of lessons for live more in peace.
I just want to stop feeling that anguish you mentioned, the bad thing is that I was always agnostic and it is a bit complicated to find the meaning of certain things that spiritual paths propose, although that of enlightening does not seem to me any madness, only that I think I should find my own meaning of what that means
 
Wreck-it-Riley

Wreck-it-Riley

My demon will see me undone
Oct 20, 2019
269
I found that organised religion made me very uncomfortable. When i found Pagan practices, i felt so much more at home on the planet. We are meant to return to the earth when we pass. Rich or poor, we all become bones. It brought me to the idea that depression and all the evil in the world is because we are not supposed to live like this. Did you know the average peasant in 1500 worked less than 20 hours a week, and farmed for maybe 6 months a year and was enough to survive for the whole year? They had time to pursue science, art, literature, adventure, spirituality. And as we made the toil easier, we exploited the earth and each other. Now i wont say life was better back then, but humans kinda fucked up and turned us into something we are not. From endurance hunter gatherers, into corporate drones in about 300 years.
 
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Zer031

Member
Aug 29, 2019
13
I found that organised religion made me very uncomfortable. When i found Pagan practices, i felt so much more at home on the planet. We are meant to return to the earth when we pass. Rich or poor, we all become bones. It brought me to the idea that depression and all the evil in the world is because we are not supposed to live like this. Did you know the average peasant in 1500 worked less than 20 hours a week, and farmed for maybe 6 months a year and was enough to survive for the whole year? They had time to pursue science, art, literature, adventure, spirituality. And as we made the toil easier, we exploited the earth and each other. Now i wont say life was better back then, but humans kinda fucked up and turned us into something we are not. From endurance hunter gatherers, into corporate drones in about 300 years.
You are so right, man, we exploited the earth and each other, and the consequences of that they are showing, living in a unhappy world...
 
J

Jengator

Student
Sep 24, 2019
139
I wish I were as brave as some of you. I'm terribly afraid of dying.
 
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Wreck-it-Riley

Wreck-it-Riley

My demon will see me undone
Oct 20, 2019
269
I wish I were as brave as some of you. I'm terribly afraid of dying.
I am so not brave. Feeling it is the right step doesn't make it easier. I still get sick if i look over a two story balcony, or drive in the mountains in winter. the idea of pain and death still scare the crap out of me. but a will to overcome that is a nice thing.

Even just coming closer to death than before has taught me so much truth about the world.
 
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Lucet

Lucet

In Echoes Forever
Aug 26, 2019
22
Very intrigued that there is a thread like this, I connect to this in some way.

I have always felt very similar about my imminent choice to ctb, and it really does feel as if this was always meant to happen - almost like I'm fulfilling some sort of purpose. I've always been fascinated with death and have wanted to die at an early age - and strangely now it feels right. Obviously there are other things in life that I would like to do, enjoy, fulfill; but I'm truly just about at that point now that the thought of anything other than death barely provides me with any sort of fulfillment. Death almost feels in alignment for me, tbh.

Personally, I'm more of the spiritual type, though not religious. I believe in reincarnation, but even I have my doubts about things due to some much programming that goes on in this world. I just hope that whatever happens, I don't want to come back to this plane of existence for a good long while, at least as far as time is concerned in this reality.
 
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