TheGoodGuy
Visionary
- Aug 27, 2018
- 2,999
Interesting video mainly the first 10 minutes with the graph it´s a great way of explaning suicide I made a graph a bit similar a while back although I used a bar graph instead of a line that looks like this
I really like the illustration of his graph on the chalk board especially the first one at 2:20 because that is how my existence is it isn´t even at 0 in terms of happiness/excitement but way below the line and it will never go up again I have suffered from physical and mental problems that gets worse by each passing year which started 6 years ago and my physical problems are chronical problems too so if people would use "it will get better" like they say to people who has depression no it won´t and the last 6 years is proof of that.
And that is just when my throat problem, psoriasis, scoliosis, my passion for bodybuilding stopped due to a back injury, and the beginning of apathy and anhedonia started if we take my depession and suicidal thoughts from my teenage years you can add another 6 years suffering although as seen in my graph the "happiness" and excitement was still quite high since I truly lived life because I "only" suffered from a few problems compared to over a dozen I suffer from now and my social life died at age 17 so if as he also states in the lecture the RATIONAL thing to do is commit suicide because my problems only gets worse and because of my physical chronic problems there is no chance of magically becoming happy as he shows in other graphs where there is a period however how long of suffering but it will never get better.
Also even if life magical got better in lets say 4 years why would I have indured a decade of pure suffering to end up just okay a little above his line, as seen in my graph my life will never be as good or exciting as it once was and as I have expressed in this thread in short I have experienced pretty much everything I had the best childhood ever and exciting teenage years so why would I settle for just above the line? People tend to use the counter argument that just because life will never be as good as in my youth I should still keep on living which is illogical to me; if a person has experienced heaven why would he settle for mediocre life I simply can´t and won´t.
But anyways got carried away a bit I wanted to use an analogy about torture since he does the same in the video. even if life magical got better in lets say 4 years why would I have indured a decade of pure suffering to end up just okay a little above his line it would technically "only" be 4 years but here is the torture analogy, would I let a man torture me for 4 years even if it meant a little above the line no I think death is preferable.
It´s a long video and also long post for me but there is a lot to cover he talks a lot about rationality of suicide but I have made vlogs, written so much on forums explained all my physical and mental problems I have literally thought about all posibilities so I´d say my suicide will be 100% rational it´s not like this guy NSFW who shoots himself after what looks like a breakup not that I don´t think he should I think any reason for suicide is purely subjective and we often have members asking if their reason for ctb is valid and I always say yes because it´s purely subjective how much a person can take, but for the guy in the video I most likely would have lived if anyone had stopped him because he might eventually get over her but still it´s his choice. Anyways my point is that unlike that guy I have through dozens of pages of threads/posts, vlogs and a graph thought everything through I have looked into my future and if all goes as planned by my psychiatrist and social worker the life they see for me isn´t one I am willing to "live" even if they could magically fix my physically chronical problems so I can work which is their goal, I don´t want to work the rest of my life 8-10 hours a day for the rest of my life last time I did I went down with depression only after 1½ month after realizing I would have to work 10 hours a day 5 days a week doing this mundane trivial shit like a wageslave for the rest of my life and I realized this after only 1-2 weeks. Oh I also got aspergers so even stuff that seems simple to others I can´t do like going to the movies, restaurants, malls it stresses me too much out
Sorry for the long rant I guess I just needed to vent I don´t expect many people if anyone reads all this
I really like the illustration of his graph on the chalk board especially the first one at 2:20 because that is how my existence is it isn´t even at 0 in terms of happiness/excitement but way below the line and it will never go up again I have suffered from physical and mental problems that gets worse by each passing year which started 6 years ago and my physical problems are chronical problems too so if people would use "it will get better" like they say to people who has depression no it won´t and the last 6 years is proof of that.
And that is just when my throat problem, psoriasis, scoliosis, my passion for bodybuilding stopped due to a back injury, and the beginning of apathy and anhedonia started if we take my depession and suicidal thoughts from my teenage years you can add another 6 years suffering although as seen in my graph the "happiness" and excitement was still quite high since I truly lived life because I "only" suffered from a few problems compared to over a dozen I suffer from now and my social life died at age 17 so if as he also states in the lecture the RATIONAL thing to do is commit suicide because my problems only gets worse and because of my physical chronic problems there is no chance of magically becoming happy as he shows in other graphs where there is a period however how long of suffering but it will never get better.
Also even if life magical got better in lets say 4 years why would I have indured a decade of pure suffering to end up just okay a little above his line, as seen in my graph my life will never be as good or exciting as it once was and as I have expressed in this thread in short I have experienced pretty much everything I had the best childhood ever and exciting teenage years so why would I settle for just above the line? People tend to use the counter argument that just because life will never be as good as in my youth I should still keep on living which is illogical to me; if a person has experienced heaven why would he settle for mediocre life I simply can´t and won´t.
But anyways got carried away a bit I wanted to use an analogy about torture since he does the same in the video. even if life magical got better in lets say 4 years why would I have indured a decade of pure suffering to end up just okay a little above his line it would technically "only" be 4 years but here is the torture analogy, would I let a man torture me for 4 years even if it meant a little above the line no I think death is preferable.
It´s a long video and also long post for me but there is a lot to cover he talks a lot about rationality of suicide but I have made vlogs, written so much on forums explained all my physical and mental problems I have literally thought about all posibilities so I´d say my suicide will be 100% rational it´s not like this guy NSFW who shoots himself after what looks like a breakup not that I don´t think he should I think any reason for suicide is purely subjective and we often have members asking if their reason for ctb is valid and I always say yes because it´s purely subjective how much a person can take, but for the guy in the video I most likely would have lived if anyone had stopped him because he might eventually get over her but still it´s his choice. Anyways my point is that unlike that guy I have through dozens of pages of threads/posts, vlogs and a graph thought everything through I have looked into my future and if all goes as planned by my psychiatrist and social worker the life they see for me isn´t one I am willing to "live" even if they could magically fix my physically chronical problems so I can work which is their goal, I don´t want to work the rest of my life 8-10 hours a day for the rest of my life last time I did I went down with depression only after 1½ month after realizing I would have to work 10 hours a day 5 days a week doing this mundane trivial shit like a wageslave for the rest of my life and I realized this after only 1-2 weeks. Oh I also got aspergers so even stuff that seems simple to others I can´t do like going to the movies, restaurants, malls it stresses me too much out
Sorry for the long rant I guess I just needed to vent I don´t expect many people if anyone reads all this
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