Discussion Suicide as an act of self love

[Futile]

Another theme I usually notice here is that people want to ctb because they hate themselves and/or want to get punished for something.

For me I'd say it's the opposite: I've always liked myself and my way of seeing things, but the world decided to alienate and torture me since day 1 for reasons outside my control. Therefore, I see my suicide as an act of self love, to stop this pain that I don't deserve

Does anyone else here feels this way?

 

[Cutepoison]

This is an interesting take. I can actually see that's good reasoning because at the end of the day, we just don't want to suffer. It's kind of self love.

 

[LonelyNick]

I see it as self love for me too. I see it as the first selfish thing I'll do. I'm done living for others, what I want is to die. Always wanted to. I was in a suicide pact when I was a teenager. Nearly drowned as a kid. I've been alive for others for 32 years.

I'm gonna treat myself in this unholy year of 2020 and do an act of self care by unaliving thank you~

 

[Greenberg]

Another theme I usually notice here is that people want to ctb because they hate themselves and/or want to get punished for something.

For me I'd say it's the opposite: I've always liked myself and my way of seeing things, but the world decided to alienate and torture me since day 1 for reasons outside my control. Therefore, I see my suicide as an act of self love, to stop this pain that I don't deserve

Does anyone else here feels this way?

Your post reminds me of this:

When God fires you in life, you say, "no, I quit!"

 

[It'sNotLookingGood]

Another theme I usually notice here is that people want to ctb because they hate themselves and/or want to get punished for something.

For me I'd say it's the opposite: I've always liked myself and my way of seeing things, but the world decided to alienate and torture me since day 1 for reasons outside my control. Therefore, I see my suicide as an act of self love, to stop this pain that I don't deserve

Does anyone else here feels this way?

That isn't how I feel, but it is a very interesting take! One I can understand too. Thanks for sharing:)

Peace and love<3

 

[Life sucks]

Loving oneself and preventing more suffering is a strong reason. Also avoiding seeing the end of things that one loves. The peace after ctbing is the ultimate love.

Personally, I started to love myself more and understood myself although too late. I did nothing but everything and everyone hurt and abused me. I need peace.

 

[darkness falls]

Absolutely. I feel the same way and its nice to see I'm not alone. I think that society in general dubs those who ctb as self loathing. After all wouldn't someone who loves themselves care for themselves and do all they can to live? Yes that's a truth for some. But not everyone.

I think it's the ultimate sacrifice for myself. I feel there is a much better reality beyond this one. And I'm tired. My life has become very unhealthy for reasons beyond my control. I'm forty years old and I should be married with a few kids and a good career. None of that is in the cards for me. I didn't choose any of the shit that happened to me and nor would I. It's unfair and its cruel to force myself to live such a loveless existence. I love myself too much to let it continue unabated.

 

[LastFlowers]

I do feel this in a way..to end my suffering is to say enough is enough, I do not accept this torture any longer, I do not accept this shitty face and body, I am saying "No" to an insufferable life I did not deserve. If I really hated myself then I would never even think of ending my suffering, I would just continue on, thinking I deserved it. I never really got to be the real me, but I know I would not hate who and what I could have been if my circumstances were different. So many times I am accused of hating myself-as if I were commiting a crime-when I was never even allowed to BE myself, people conflate hating our situations with hating our very beings. It's just another way to blame us.
And honestly this whole self-love movement going on can be quite problematic. Not everyone should love themselves, some people are horrible, self-indulgent human beings who could stand a little self-hate. Also, criticism of the self can promote growth to a better self.
Either way, I'm not killing myself because I hate myself, I am killing myself because of things outside of my control which constrain and suffocate me, while I am forced to watch the world pass me by. I am killing myself because I don't deserve to experience any more pain while enduring the cruel fate of being a silent witness to other people's fortune. It's an act of mercy and defiance..and yes, you could say it is an act of love.

You post reminds me of this:

When God fires you in life, you say, "no, I quit!"

I would love to pull a Satan and tell God to go fuck himself. Unfortunately-or fortunately, depending on how you look at it-he doesn't exist.

 

[AJ95]

That's really sweet :) I guess in a way me ctb is a protective thing, it's not because I hate myself so much that I want to destroy myself, it's just that I don't want to be around to experience more pain.

 

[AintNoWayOut]

somewhat agree with this... i actually like certain qualities about myself and my outlooks, but life has treated me so horribly that i feel like i shouldnt have to go through the torture any longer and deserve the sweet release of death since life refuses to get better. i know im a pretty decent guy and that most of my issues have been things out of my control, like chronic pain, and basically forced upon me. now dont get me wrong, i definitely do have flaws within my control and am by no means a narcissist, but if life hadnt decided to torment me physically/mentally i probably wouldnt be here.

 

[woxihuanni]

Avoiding unbearable torture is an act of self-love, obviously.

 

[Superdeterminist]

Yes, I feel exactly the same. Consciousness does not deserve to be oppressed by suffering. Life is a stupid poorly designed game and it deserves a far better one to play than this.

 

[LittleJem]

I love this view. I feel I don't know what to do for myself anymore, I've tried everything - just exhausted - and want to end my suffering. It is an act of kindness to myself.

Saying that, am feeling somewhat better at the moment due to a supplement combo. My whole life is in tatters and I don't know how long this will last - and it is far from perfect. So don't know if/when will CTB.

 

[TimeLawyer]

It is definitely a self love thing for me as well. I have suffered for so long and I am not happy with the terms and conditions of fixing that suffering. It would take a lot and I would have to do things I am not willing to do or am not comfortable with doing. So in that sense I am saying no to something I want to say no to. If the Jehovas Witnesses or the insurance salesman comes around I can tell them I don't want health insurance or join their religion. Why can't I say no if I don't like the terms and conditions of life?

 

[BeHope]

Another theme I usually notice here is that people want to ctb because they hate themselves and/or want to get punished for something.

For me I'd say it's the opposite: I've always liked myself and my way of seeing things, but the world decided to alienate and torture me since day 1 for reasons outside my control. Therefore, I see my suicide as an act of self love, to stop this pain that I don't deserve

Does anyone else here feels this way?

Yes! I feel exactly the same!

I've been described as an arrogant person in that I love myself a lot and I'm okay with that and even kind of proud of it. I think everyone should love themselves more and I think suicide can be one of the most powerful forms of self-love. People always try to dissuade you from suicide, sometimes even going so far as to call you selfish for even considering it. I agree with them. It is selfish. But self-love is selfish and that's okay. We were brought into this world against our will (whether we like it here or not) so I think we are owed being allowed to quit when and if we so wish. Self-hate has nothing to do with my desire to die.

 

[Breadbfra]

La penso così al 150%

Suicide is an act of self love for the same reason assisted suicide is, no more suffering is worse than keep suffering for your entire life.

 

[Risa]

Yesterday I watched the remake of Hitchcocks Rebecca on Netflix and ****spoiler ahead**** in case you still wanna watch the movie and don't know the story line skip this post. Except you're Sherlock and can guess it. Then you're fucked :) haha too late.



So Rebecca had cancer and pushed her unknowing husband to kill her. She literally was a bitch she loved herself and did what she wanted. When she got the diagnosis she decided on a less painful death. And I think that's a good representation of "suicide" because of self love. Because there's no way this woman would have killed herself for any other reason. I'm going to watch the original today cause my parents said it's way better than the remake. I liked that representation though because she made a logical decision. I mean besides fucking her husband over.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Can't relate I hate myself lol fuck that guy

 

[Meditation guide]

I'm going to watch the original today cause my parents said it's way better than the remake.

Thanks for that suggestion. I'm going to watch that movie later today. I had an audio book of Rebecca and I've never forgotten how great it was.

 

[262653]

I do. The time when I started thinking about my life, my wants and needs, was also the time I started considering sudoku.

I think about Theoden who rode to war for the future of his kin, not because he hated himself, had a deathwish, or mental illness.

 

[BPD Barbie]

While I don't particularly like myself I do see suicide as an act of self care and self love and I personally think it's the nicest thing I can do for myself.

 

[timetofly]

I feel the same, thank you for this thread.

In order to continue living the way society functions I need to crush and betray myself to give birth to a "me" that is accepted or at least tolerated. This won't bring me any happiness and enjoyment of life, so why bother? I'll just die and let the world become a shittier place.

Yes, I truly believe that we, the sincere, kind and sensitive people dying, will contribute to society becoming shittier even faster. In a blink of an eye there won't be any sincere people left because they're at a disadvantage compared to the manipulative liars. So let them eat each other in this hyperconnected world with no one to take advantage of, because we're dead.

 

[Deleted member 94]

Another theme I usually notice here is that people want to ctb because they hate themselves and/or want to get punished for something.

For me I'd say it's the opposite: I've always liked myself and my way of seeing things, but the world decided to alienate and torture me since day 1 for reasons outside my control. Therefore, I see my suicide as an act of self love, to stop this pain that I don't deserve

Does anyone else here feels this way?

I was born in India and in the Indian language Hindi suicide is called khud Khushi which translates into self happiness so it is kind of like what you are referring to. The act of khud Khushi is to make oneself happy.

 

[lost guy]

I do like your take on this.

 

[UberYeets]

Holy crap I've been thinking this for years.

 

[Lilacmoon]

it's the only way for some, including me, to stop suffering and stop hurting others.
maybe it can be a compassionate act to spare others of having to deal with my spiraling decline.

would be good for me too.

 

[Viceroy]

Avoiding unbearable torture is an act of self-love, obviously.

 

[Rn110bg101]

Self-care, the only time in my life I had some. My life is basically sitting around, being a horrible person and weeping about being alone, no way I'm living with this

 

[Done at Fifty]

Definitely. People think that all those who want to ctb are depressed because we assume you must have a mental illness to deny your survival instinct.

 

[BridgeJumper]

How can I be committing an act of self love when I literally loathe myself so much, that I can get SN anytime but I would rather jump off a bridge and break my spine?
And I punish my body for existing every single day with everything I do, and dying painfully is just an extension of it because Im a piece of trash, and I hope theres Hell for me because I despise myself.