suicide around others?

[wolverine]

I have a few cousins who regularly go on hunting trips and since I was a teenager I've been receiving invitations to go with them. I turned most of these invitations down because that side of my family skews homophobic with more conservative beliefs, also probably racist, so the environment felt uncomfortable. But the concept of being able to have such easy access to a gun was kind of enticing.

I'm considering taking it up this year when they go hunt hogs or deer or whatever they do. I admittedly haven't read up on it much, nor do I have much of a plan beyond "take the shotgun and walk off to go piss, and then successfully stick the thing in my mouth without anyone looking back at me."

Which might not work. But I'm curious on if that'd be morally wrong, to die like that with a bunch of innocents who'd have to witness it, and it almost feels like a loss going out with the gun of someone who probably hated me for existing.. Even if that hardly matters in the grand scheme of things.

 

[theDunce]

That's a good question. I wonder if it would be morally wrong as well. It does give you access to a gun if you don't have it and it's a shotgun which makes for a more certain outcome. I don't know how you would get yourself alone so much although that could happen many ways I guess too.

Regardless I am certain you could find the time to turn it on yourself.

I wonder too where and how. Should I do it in the car where it's easier to get rid of or outside in the woods somewhere. I suppose I won't do it at home since it would be harder to clean up and I've read that is not fun for others as I could assume as much as well.

Then I think that it might not matter much and either way I am going to be disliked for it and forgotten as well through time or so I believe that could be case.

It's a sad state any way you cut it, so I see that maybe out in the woods going hunting isn't a bad idea at all. There will likely be trauma from the event regardless and you will trying to get yourself alone so no-one sees the act. I don't know what else they could ask for. I guess they could wish you did it another time, not hunting but then there's the gun.

As I think of how to do myself I realize at times that I might have to stop worrying about others so much. This act is so hard to do. I will try my best to be considerate but at some point I realize the act itself will always be the worst of all outcomes as is.