'Suicide and language'

[The_Hunter]

In the paper "Suicide and language" Doris Sommer-Rotenberg criticizes the custom of using "commit" to describe acts of suicide; attacking it for alleged implications of criminality & sin that have no place in a compassion-based paradigm towards the understanding of suicidal individuals. If you have the time; I highly recommend reading all 2 pages of this paper; it's hosted publicly via PDF in this link right here. Cheers.

For the person contemplating suicide, the opportunity to freely express suicidal thoughts, to vent negative feelings against oneself and the world, to be listened to empathically and nonjudgementally is one of the best means of overcoming despair.

For the counsellor or physician, this presents an opportunity to use language in a positive way, to assuage pain and avert destructive outcomes.

But if the response is one of disbelief, horror and hollow engagement, of comfortless platitudes such as "Oh, you can't feel that way, you have so much to live for," the suicidal person is likely to withdraw from discussion and feel unbearably ashamed of his or her feelings. Such shame can lead to a lonely journey burdened by an increasing sense of unworthiness. Powerful, destructive emotions are internalized, growing stronger and more urgent the longer they have no release. Eventually the only relief the suicidal person is able to perceive may be self-annihilation — not a rejection of life, family and friends, but a rejection of the pain of living.

The language we use to describe events not only reflects our own attitudes but influences those attitudes as well as the attitudes of others. A change in the words we use will not immediately dispel deep-seated prejudices, but it will inhibit their expression and, in so doing, prepare the ground for attitudinal change. When racist remarks are viewed as socially unacceptable, for example, the social environment becomes less hospitable to racism itself.

The language of suicide, like the illness leading to suicide, are both mired in denial. The term "commit suicide" should be excised from the language. There are other and better alternatives: Hamlet's "self-slaughter," "death by one's own hand," "ended one's own life," "self-inflicted death," "a casualty of suicide" or the raw "killed oneself." Even the expression of a former Vietnamese prisoner of war, who described his feelings during his incarceration as a desire "to be off the planet," avoids the judgemental connotations of "commit suicide." And any of these expressions is better than the obituary euphemism, "died suddenly."

Physicians can send a powerful message to colleagues, patients and society at large by using neutral and compassionate language when they refer to suicide. By their leadership in this revision, they will be better able to help those with suicidal feelings to take a crucial step back from despair, and to help those who have been bereaved by suicide to resolve their feelings of anguish and regret.

The rejection of the term "commit suicide" will help to replace silence and shame with discussion, interaction, insight and, ultimately, successful preventive research.

 

[microwaved_dawg]

No doubt a very interesting read for my lunch break

 

[TransilvanianHunger]

An interesting read, thanks for sharing.

I agree with the author about the criminal implications of the phrase "commit suicide", but I think that the causality is backwards — it is not that the way we speak about suicide affects how we view it; rather, I think that we (as a society) talk about suicide in those terms because we view it as a criminal act. Language ends up reinforcing that view, sure, but removing the phrase because of its judgmental connotations doesn't do much if the act itself is still viewed as morally wrong.

As is the case with many other situations, it's not as simple as "excising" words from the language. What's needed is a completely different understanding of the act of killing oneself, of how and why a person chooses to kill themselves, away from moral frameworks. Maybe I'm biased because I look into these subjects a lot more than the general population, but it seems like that shift in perception might be slowly taking place.

 

[The_Hunter]

but it seems like that shift in perception might be slowly taking place.

tell me more of this

 

[avoid]

I never considered the connotations the word "commit" has, though I'm not native English. Semantics seems to be as important as ever since recent years because a lot of words are changed to destigmatize them, or make them less offensive, or more marketable or inclusive. Janitor to custodian, cheap to affordable, and prostitute to sex worker. So I wonder why "commit suicide" gets left behind, although I've seen alternatives such as "unalive yourself" and "ending your life." But I don't know if any of these alternatives are increasingly used colloquially compared to "commit."

In my natal tongue, we used to use the word "self-murder" which has similar negative connotations to the word "commit." Although we still use this word colloquially, the word "self-deadening" is used by news outlets, institutions, medical professionals, the government... Basically in any professional setting.

 

[platypus77]

Language plays a big part in how we frame our thoughts and perceptions of reality.

In the Hollywood view of the world, it's hard to imagine a suicide without a note, but prior to the eighteenth century very few people bothered to spend their last tormented moments writing down their thoughts. Few people knew how to read or write, and even if they could, the last thing they would want to do would be to broadcast their suicide to the world, for they would be demonized, their body dragged through town and staked at a crossroads, and their family's property and possessions confiscated.

But in the eighteenth century, with a dramatic increase in literacy, a few eccentric souls decided they would attempt communication, even if it meant eternal damnation. At the same time, newspapers catering to the growing masses of the newly literate decided to publish these last-moment messages. When the public failed to show outrage and, in fact, showed great eagerness to read these documents, a new phenomenon was born: the strange combination of literacy and lunacy we Call the suicide note.

The role that the press played in the promotion of suicide notes cannot be underestimated. As Michael MacDonald and Terence Murphy argue in their book Sleepless Souls, newspapers gave potential suicides, for the first time in history, access to a mass audience. The suicide using the note could now craft his death to achieve sympathy, revenge, or posterity. Suicide was now self-expression.

By printing suicide notes, the newspapers even taught the potential suicide how to craft his message. As Sleepless Souls states, "They [the newspapers] printed suicide notes whose conventions and rhetoric taught those who were about to die how to address the audience they were about to leave." In short, newspapers helped decide the tone, form, and language of a suicide note.

Through these notes, the attitude toward suicide changed. Once suicides were ~ considered satanic, now the notes showed them to be human, suffering from such common problems as poverty, infidelity, and plain bad luck. The messages seemed to say that, if not for circumstance, everyone was perilously close to suicide. As the public began to identify with the victims and their families, the laws punishing self-murder relaxed, and the suicide was treated with sympathy, not scorn.

All this took place on the public stage of the newspaper. Ultimately, the ad-vent of suicide notes established the act as a public phenomenon. No longer the solitary act of madmen, the suicide wanted his act publicized, for the note was written to be read.

Excerpts from "...Or Not to Be: A Collection of Suicide Notes" - Etkind, Marc

 

[The_Hunter]

"No longer the solitary act of madmen, the suicide wanted his act publicized, for the note was written to be read."
—Excerpt from "...Or Not to Be: A Collection of Suicide Notes" - Etkind, Marc

This, to me; is a potent phrase that stands out: the infused cry to be heard in what can be characterized as the most lonely act fathomable to humanity—the suicide.

Once, while talking with a friend of mine—they brought up the point that the feeling of necessity to leave a quality detailed suicide note, indicates a secret wish to be heard, to express one's self and interface with the minds of others. And that this, for me, could be taken as evidence that I care enough about interfacing with people; that it's worth to continue life, for the sake of continuing to interface with humanity & give myself the solace of expressing myself to others once again, as opposed to the gravity of a suicide note that ultimately falls into weightlessness, with the disconnect that suicide brings from all the rest of sociality & human life—[with the effect of] leaving the very human psyche that one is attempting to leave meaning into.

It's a thoughtworthy paradox for sure. (And one what I consider to be a valid point indeed.) Perhaps the one that deeply cares for making themselves heard in a suicide note could easily have enough reason to achieve the face-to-face, living fulfillment of interaction that comes from the living, the breathing, the active interface—that (in my solemn particle) has aspects that transcend the written words in ways visceral, experential; unspeakable.

Vis-à-vis: is one hell of a way to be.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's interesting to consider. Personally speaking, I don't actually mind it. We commit ourselves to things that are important to us. Someone who works hard at something can be described as being very 'committed'.

It also includes ownership of the act. I prefer it to a phrase like: 'They were a victim of suicide.' I'd argue that in fact they were likely a victim of a very difficult life. They chose to suicide in order to escape it. At least it doesn't make it sound like suicide just happened to them.

But yes, it does have connotations with committing a crime. But then- I'd argue- it is sometimes seen like that. I feel like the suicidal person is frequently broken up into two people. The innocent and 'vulnerable' person that everyone was familiar with. Who lost their life to the deranged murderer inside of them who was so unbalanced (according to them) that they killed themselves. I think maybe it's less painful for those left behind if they split the person up and decide that the person that did this wasn't really them, it was their 'illness'.