Suicidal people are not selfish because no one wakes up one morning to leave their entire family behind forever

[FireFox]

I am 26 and I have been suicidal since the age 21. I really wanted to live and fought so hard to give myself a good life but now I just can't fight anymore. Being suicidal my mind feels like I am stuck in a burning building trying to break out. The pain I feel absolutely nothing gives me relief and only death can end it all. I didn't choose to be this way and I don't want to be this way. I tried getting help under the NHS and struggled to get help, I can't afford a private therapist. People around me don't listen whenever I open up.

I love my family and do not want my family to suffer believe me. The reason why I have not killed myself is because of my little teenage sister. My little sister thinks I am the greatest big sister ever because I am always looking out for her. If I successfully killed myself today my sister will not have a support system. My mum is not great listening. I have a large family tree of relatives, having a large family tree means nothing if your own relatives do not care about you. My relatives in my parents home country are the biggest entilted self centred pieces of shit who only call if they want money or somekind of benefit. In addition to that my relatives gossip a lot and jealous of other people's successes. If I killed myself successfully today I know which relatives will be the ones gossiping about how I always the "crazy" one and I know which ones will be enjoying the fact I killed myself. I have one relative whose adult daughter died last year and she is so bitter about other families enjoying themselves with their children . This relative openly celebrated the misfortune of another relatives suffering all because that relative didn't send condolences when her daughter passed away.

My family will not only have to deal with my death but also the gossip and my mother will never ever cope as she cares way too much what these narcissistic egotistical piece of shit relatives think. In my family's culture family is a massive deal.

People call us selfish for wanting to die but we are not selfish. No one wakes up one morning and decides to leave behind forever the people they love. Being suicidal is the worst pain because the thoughts never stop and all you just want is the pain to go away. I just want my pain to stop. I have tried so hard believe me but I can't win anymore the pain is too strong. The events of this year has broken me completely and I can't fight anymore. I really wanted to live

 

[Justnotme]

If the purpose of suicide is not to "punish" your loved ones, then I would attribute suicide to healthy selfishness. If suicide can be called selfishness at all.
This issue is complicated, but some people are used to not delve into such complex issues and just immediately humiliate those who want to die.

 

[dreamingofrest]

I think this subject is really complicated, especially when it comes to parents, but I'm not a parent so I'm not sure it's my place to make judgments about that. People should really try to be more sympathetic to suicidal people, no matter what their situation is.
Also, selfishness isn't always bad… we're humans and supposed to do what we think is right for us! I think it's sad that there are people who are expected to live their whole lives for others. Do people really want their loved ones to suffer in pain for their sake?

 

[FuneralCry]

I find it so insensitive about when people go on about suicide supposedly being so "selfish" as we all have our right to die anyway, it's our existence and not other people's, it isn't like we could have ever consented to existing here in the first place so we aren't obligated to continue. If one wants to die on their own terms then that's a very valid personal choice, we all have to die someday anyway it's like many people forget that.