SebVettel5
Member
- Aug 25, 2022
- 19
This is a venting post. I don't know why I even created this topic, but I wanted to get some things off my chest.
I don't know if I'll ctb at the end or not, I'm on the first day of my 48 hours regimen but my survival instinct prevented me from doing so for 2 months approximately.
A month ago, I met this girl online who lives far away from me, I won't give details about her but she's the sweetest girl I've ever talked with.
I sent her messages, sharing how I felt towards her and she replied me back saying how she's moved by my messages.
Few days ago, I suggested her that we can talk online if she wants to, rather than texting each other, and she accepted it.
And it was one of the best moments of my life ever. It was like I've known her for so many years. I felt so relaxed when I was talking to her because we shared same interests in general. She laughed, I laughed, we talked about our own lives. I was drinking some beers which gave me some confidence to talk with her.
I know she had some issues in her own life. Toxic people are trying to bring her down, again I won't go into details, it was related with her career.
and I know she's kind of sad about it, but after our beautiful conversation for which she said she was grateful, she doesn't even reply my messages anymore.
I told myself maybe it's because she has her own issues which I'm aware of, but at the same time I can't stop thinking that maybe she didn't like me as she claimed,
maybe the reason she told me she had fun talking with me was because she didn't want to hurt my feelings, because she knows I'm intensely in love with her.
So, it's been few days but she doesn't reply to me anymore. I felt suicidal when I met her, maybe I shouldn't even have talked with her to begin with.
She lives in a different country, far away from me. But I'm 100% sure that for her I would even stop considering ctb'ing, and that's something I'd have never done for somebody else.
But, she doesn't reply anymore, yeah I keep typing same sentence over and over again but that hurts me, a lot.
It was as if she held the key for a door through which I would rejoin to the garden of life, but it's as if she threw the key into the toilet and flushed it out.
I don't know if I'll ctb at the end or not, I'm on the first day of my 48 hours regimen but my survival instinct prevented me from doing so for 2 months approximately.
A month ago, I met this girl online who lives far away from me, I won't give details about her but she's the sweetest girl I've ever talked with.
I sent her messages, sharing how I felt towards her and she replied me back saying how she's moved by my messages.
Few days ago, I suggested her that we can talk online if she wants to, rather than texting each other, and she accepted it.
And it was one of the best moments of my life ever. It was like I've known her for so many years. I felt so relaxed when I was talking to her because we shared same interests in general. She laughed, I laughed, we talked about our own lives. I was drinking some beers which gave me some confidence to talk with her.
I know she had some issues in her own life. Toxic people are trying to bring her down, again I won't go into details, it was related with her career.
and I know she's kind of sad about it, but after our beautiful conversation for which she said she was grateful, she doesn't even reply my messages anymore.
I told myself maybe it's because she has her own issues which I'm aware of, but at the same time I can't stop thinking that maybe she didn't like me as she claimed,
maybe the reason she told me she had fun talking with me was because she didn't want to hurt my feelings, because she knows I'm intensely in love with her.
So, it's been few days but she doesn't reply to me anymore. I felt suicidal when I met her, maybe I shouldn't even have talked with her to begin with.
She lives in a different country, far away from me. But I'm 100% sure that for her I would even stop considering ctb'ing, and that's something I'd have never done for somebody else.
But, she doesn't reply anymore, yeah I keep typing same sentence over and over again but that hurts me, a lot.
It was as if she held the key for a door through which I would rejoin to the garden of life, but it's as if she threw the key into the toilet and flushed it out.