I know this is way out there, but as someone that has struggled with Depression, Alcohol. And now terminal illness. I'd love it if there was SA(Suicidal Anonymous) where people could gather(most likely online) and talk about there feelings, Struggles. and thoughts without being harassed, saved, or ridiculed. I long for the day people understand that wanting to end your life is a personal decision that everyone should have.
Like I have said in previous posts, people immediately think anyone that makes this choice is "OBVIOUSLY" crazy or depressed and must be saved from themselves as if they have that right. ideally I would love it if we could explain our reasons for our decision and give others the chance to help with no fear of being hospitalized or otherwise dissuaded. By help I don't mean "Go see a therapist" or "Get on Medication"
I mean(and I will not feel self serving as nothing can help me)
Hey you are stressed for financial reasons, No problem I've got your covered...don't worry.
You are depressed do to a breakup or no relationship, I know some nice Guys/Girls that might be perfect for you. Would you like to meet them?
You have no place to live, come stay with me, I won't judge you or force you to do anything you don't want to do. No Pressure
Bottom line is, Don't try to talk me out of suicide unless YOU CAN PERSONALLY solve the underlying problems.
I will share a personal story of my own to illustrate.
I was severely depressed, I had lost the woman that I love at a very early age, My very successful career was simply impossible to continue as I had simply lost the ability to handle stress, and my job had been very stressful. I had exhausted a literal fortune.
I was out of the country and at the time you could get N pretty easily, I had enough for this whole community probably(Pisses me off now).
So I contacted my family and said my goodbyes, gave all of the pertinent info to settle my affairs and made it VERY clear that this was not a cry for help and I did not want anyone to try to change my mind.
Immediately I heard from family as I expected and told them that I simply can not go on this way, I could not work, I was completely unmotivated. and had basically lost the will to live. I had already been through years of serious depression and had all the medications, been to more therapy than I could tolerate, and knew exactly what I was doing. Please just wish me well and support me in my decision.
Things seemed alright at first and I actually had some reasonable discussions with my family(Don't think they thought I was serious) so after I explained EXACTLY what I was going to do and when I planned to do it they got concerned. "What can we do to change your mind? " NOTHING was of course my response(This was before my terminal cancer diagnosis to be clear). So finally they made one last attempt and I finally said OK. I can not work, I have very little money left, I don't want to be a burden to anyone and above all I don't want to feel like a charity case, I have more respect for myself and am perfectly ready to go.
Here comes the terrible part as far as I'm concerned. My family(Which is very large) told me that if I just came home they would take care of me without any judgement or expectations. My brother offered to let me live with him in his beautiful vacation home on the beach, take care of all of my expenses, and basically live stress free, Which was a very tempting offer, too good to be true actually. I told them in no uncertain terms that I did not want treatment, I did not want to work as I was emotionally exhausted and if this was just a ploy to get me to come home I would be PISSED.
Well, to make a very long story a little shorter that is exactly what happened. the first month or so was AWSOME. I was basically living a dream life of a relatively young Rich retiree. I did not ask for this but it was great. Then the crap started. Hey don't you want to go back to work? don't you want a place of your own? Where do you intend to go when we go home?(this was their winter home)
I was like, what the fuck, I told you my situation, that I absolutely can't handle stress and basically am unable to support myself.
Well just go out and get ANY job, you will feel better, have you tried McDonald's...LOL Now there is nothing wrong with these types of jobs and I don't want to be immodest but I had been an executive used to making the requisite income and to do something like that would have felt like the biggest failure of my life.
It finally came to a head and the truth came out.
Them: We helped you when you asked for It
Me: I did not ask for help
Me Again: I told you that I just couldn't handle the stress of living anymore
Them: Well you can't expect to live a completely stress free life, that isn't reasonable.
Me: I know, that is why I was ready to leave peacefully before you dragged me back here.
So of course the plan was to get me home and FIX me. So my best chance to go was lost and that method will likely never be available to me again thanks to my loving family(They really did think they were doing the right thing)
So anyway, a few years later I was diagnosed with terminal cancer and here I am. GOD DAMN IT!!!!
Like I have said in previous posts, people immediately think anyone that makes this choice is "OBVIOUSLY" crazy or depressed and must be saved from themselves as if they have that right. ideally I would love it if we could explain our reasons for our decision and give others the chance to help with no fear of being hospitalized or otherwise dissuaded. By help I don't mean "Go see a therapist" or "Get on Medication"
I mean(and I will not feel self serving as nothing can help me)
Hey you are stressed for financial reasons, No problem I've got your covered...don't worry.
You are depressed do to a breakup or no relationship, I know some nice Guys/Girls that might be perfect for you. Would you like to meet them?
You have no place to live, come stay with me, I won't judge you or force you to do anything you don't want to do. No Pressure
Bottom line is, Don't try to talk me out of suicide unless YOU CAN PERSONALLY solve the underlying problems.
I will share a personal story of my own to illustrate.
I was severely depressed, I had lost the woman that I love at a very early age, My very successful career was simply impossible to continue as I had simply lost the ability to handle stress, and my job had been very stressful. I had exhausted a literal fortune.
I was out of the country and at the time you could get N pretty easily, I had enough for this whole community probably(Pisses me off now).
So I contacted my family and said my goodbyes, gave all of the pertinent info to settle my affairs and made it VERY clear that this was not a cry for help and I did not want anyone to try to change my mind.
Immediately I heard from family as I expected and told them that I simply can not go on this way, I could not work, I was completely unmotivated. and had basically lost the will to live. I had already been through years of serious depression and had all the medications, been to more therapy than I could tolerate, and knew exactly what I was doing. Please just wish me well and support me in my decision.
Things seemed alright at first and I actually had some reasonable discussions with my family(Don't think they thought I was serious) so after I explained EXACTLY what I was going to do and when I planned to do it they got concerned. "What can we do to change your mind? " NOTHING was of course my response(This was before my terminal cancer diagnosis to be clear). So finally they made one last attempt and I finally said OK. I can not work, I have very little money left, I don't want to be a burden to anyone and above all I don't want to feel like a charity case, I have more respect for myself and am perfectly ready to go.
Here comes the terrible part as far as I'm concerned. My family(Which is very large) told me that if I just came home they would take care of me without any judgement or expectations. My brother offered to let me live with him in his beautiful vacation home on the beach, take care of all of my expenses, and basically live stress free, Which was a very tempting offer, too good to be true actually. I told them in no uncertain terms that I did not want treatment, I did not want to work as I was emotionally exhausted and if this was just a ploy to get me to come home I would be PISSED.
Well, to make a very long story a little shorter that is exactly what happened. the first month or so was AWSOME. I was basically living a dream life of a relatively young Rich retiree. I did not ask for this but it was great. Then the crap started. Hey don't you want to go back to work? don't you want a place of your own? Where do you intend to go when we go home?(this was their winter home)
I was like, what the fuck, I told you my situation, that I absolutely can't handle stress and basically am unable to support myself.
Well just go out and get ANY job, you will feel better, have you tried McDonald's...LOL Now there is nothing wrong with these types of jobs and I don't want to be immodest but I had been an executive used to making the requisite income and to do something like that would have felt like the biggest failure of my life.
It finally came to a head and the truth came out.
Them: We helped you when you asked for It
Me: I did not ask for help
Me Again: I told you that I just couldn't handle the stress of living anymore
Them: Well you can't expect to live a completely stress free life, that isn't reasonable.
Me: I know, that is why I was ready to leave peacefully before you dragged me back here.
So of course the plan was to get me home and FIX me. So my best chance to go was lost and that method will likely never be available to me again thanks to my loving family(They really did think they were doing the right thing)
So anyway, a few years later I was diagnosed with terminal cancer and here I am. GOD DAMN IT!!!!
