Help Suggestions on how to deal with family grief?

[lifeofnothing]

Hi everyone. I am posting this in order to seek other people's opinions since I can't talk about it with anyone.

So basically, I tried to CTB a few years ago by using SN, but then I got scared and asked for help, and as a result, I got hospitalized for some weeks.
When I got home, my family members told me that if I didn't survive, they would all make the same decision with me, and this made me absolutely terrified.
Fast forward to now, and here I am again. I really want to do it, but I'm so scared of what my loved ones are going to do when they find out. We are really close to each other, and I still live with them, but I have enough money to move to another state and survive for 5–6 months without having to work (I live in a huge yet developing country, so it would be kind of expensive for them if they wanted to visit me).
Of course they would get concerned if I decided to move so far all of a sudden, but then I found out that I can go to university in any state that I want, as long as I pass the exams. I talked to them about it; at first they were reluctant, but then they accepted.
So my plan is to pass the exams (if I'm capable enough), move to another state, try to get a job, and gradually start to cut contact with my family members. Since I'm going to be studying and possibly working at the same time, it's not going to be hard to use this as an excuse. Then, after some time, when I feel contact is minimal, I'm going to do it. It will require a lot of patience, but I want to reduce their suffering to the maximum I can so they can at least move on.
Do you guys think it's a good idea? How can I improve it? Any other suggestions? I deeply appreciate all of your answers.

 

[UKscotty]

No matter how we frame it up, any suicide is always tradgic and a loss. I think being comfortable with this is all part of overcoming our SI.

We can lessen the pain but we have to consider our mental pain vs the pain caused to those left behind.

 

[trashhologram]

I don't think there will be a way to get the people who love you be less devastated when you die. A death of a loved one is always tragic and it hurts. With time you learn to live with the grief but it never goes away. I know this from experience. The only thing I can think of is writing notes. It doesn't take their pain away but it will help them understand why you died. You're lucky to have so many people who love you. It's a blessing and a curse when you're suicidal.

 

[Thanksforeverything]

Unless you somehow find a way to completely vanish, there is no way to actually protect your loved ones once you're gone. This is absolutely my worst nightmare and I've thought about it for way too long. But unfortunately, there's no way to sugarcoat suicide.

 

[lifeofnothing]

Thank you, guys. Now I understand that, unfortunately, I can't reduce their pain. I hope I can at least make them not miss me that much. I don't have much choice anyway.

I don't think there will be a way to get the people who love you be less devastated when you die. A death of a loved one is always tragic and it hurts. With time you learn to live with the grief but it never goes away. I know this from experience. The only thing I can think of is writing notes. It doesn't take their pain away but it will help them understand why you died. You're lucky to have so many people who love you. It's a blessing and a curse when you're suicidal.

Thank you for the suggestion. I wasn't considering writing a note before since I didn't think it was important, but I guess it's a great way to demonstrate my motivations and to ask them to be strong. I'm a very unlucky person in almost every aspect of life except for my family; they're the only reason i've been holding on this long. Good luck to everybody!

 

[WordsAreHard]

I'm really unsure if I should write on this post or not. I just feel that you should be aware how devastating losing someone to suicide actually is. I lost my son almost 3 months ago now. I know that I will never enjoy life again. I struggle to do absolutely anything and sometimes I try pretending when people are around. Then I feel so fake and breakdown worse once I am alone. I have been through many bad things in my life but nothing comes close to this pain. I have a gun ready. I've done my research on gun, bullets, and where to aim. I am in no means trying to discourage you. I just want to make sure that you are making an informed decision. My entire family has fallen apart. We are a large very close family. I do not want to cause them more pain but it is inevitable when some makes this decision. I will say that I understand why my son didn't "get help." If I spoke my honest thoughts to people, I would probably just get locked up and drugged. I want for nothing more then to have my son back but not if it means that he would continue suffering as he must have been.

 

[trashhologram]

I'm really unsure if I should write on this post or not. I just feel that you should be aware how devastating losing someone to suicide actually is. I lost my son almost 3 months ago now. I know that I will never enjoy life again. I struggle to do absolutely anything and sometimes I try pretending when people are around. Then I feel so fake and breakdown worse once I am alone. I have been through many bad things in my life but nothing comes close to this pain. I have a gun ready. I've done my research on gun, bullets, and where to aim. I am in no means trying to discourage you. I just want to make sure that you are making an informed decision. My entire family has fallen apart. We are a large very close family. I do not want to cause them more pain but it is inevitable when some makes this decision. I will say that I understand why my son didn't "get help." If I spoke my honest thoughts to people, I would probably just get locked up and drugged. I want for nothing more then to have my son back but not if it means that he would continue suffering as he must have been.

I understand everyone griefs differently but I just want to say you are allowed to show how you feel in front of others. I'm so sorry for your loss. ❤

 

[lifeofnothing]

I'm really unsure if I should write on this post or not. I just feel that you should be aware how devastating losing someone to suicide actually is. I lost my son almost 3 months ago now. I know that I will never enjoy life again. I struggle to do absolutely anything and sometimes I try pretending when people are around. Then I feel so fake and breakdown worse once I am alone. I have been through many bad things in my life but nothing comes close to this pain. I have a gun ready. I've done my research on gun, bullets, and where to aim. I am in no means trying to discourage you. I just want to make sure that you are making an informed decision. My entire family has fallen apart. We are a large very close family. I do not want to cause them more pain but it is inevitable when some makes this decision. I will say that I understand why my son didn't "get help." If I spoke my honest thoughts to people, I would probably just get locked up and drugged. I want for nothing more then to have my son back but not if it means that he would continue suffering as he must have been.

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine the amount of pain you must be enduring. And I deeply appreciate your comment; it really helped me understand the point of view of a parent. I really wish there was a way to reduce my family's pain, since none of this is their fault, but I guess there isn't much I can do. I hope you can find peace and what is best for you. Thank you very much.

 

[Silent Raindrops]

This is a really tough one to answer. I know a few people I've lost to suicide, and as devastated as I was to lose them, it never changed my stance on suicide.

The first person I ever lost to suicide was an uncle. I was maybe 7 or 8 and didn't understand or know what suicide was, all I knew was that he was gone. I didn't find out until later years that that was how he died.

I hope you can find a good answer, or other members words help.