Suffering horrible but still having a hope. However it’s irrational as there’s NO possibility at this point. How to get rid off

[Tnatalie]

I still have hope that something might turn better but actually it's nonsense. I wish I hadn't and see the things as they are.
It's not depression-talk, but rationally every single possibility, treatment has already failed. I fought hard, did everything including treating abroad. It's about serious Medical issue. I am deformed monster like you see on gore photos of serious injury victims, had reconstructice surgeries.

How to get rid off it? Ending my so-called "life" is rationally better for me, but I can't.

 

[PI3.14]

Sorry you're going through this

I guess many of us are asking ourselves this question everyday.