Suddenly recovery plans pop up in my head, then I feel like "what's the point?"

[nopointofliving]

I'm trying to make some baby steps to move forward. I don't know why?? I'm alive so why not doing something relatively useful.

Before some time, I was studying something, and I came up with an idea: why not putting much efforts to be a professional programmer, and I can share this goal with my dear SS members. We can help each other in improving our skills, and who knows?? maybe life gets better suddenly.

And just after moments of having that idea, a question rose up: What's the point? why do you want to be a professional programmer? why you want to do this? I realized it's pointless then I came back to my normal/low state :D

Anyone else experienced the same thing?

 

[MYStERY_Man]

Kinda? Writer, DJ, poker player, software engineer...

However, pointlessness doesn't bother me.

I guess I'm just lazy. I might get a burst of energy and go on a week/month binge, but inevitably realize I'm not feeling that much better and give up.

 

[TattiQueen]

I'm trying to make some baby steps to move forward. I don't know why?? I'm alive so why not doing something relatively useful.

Before some time, I was studying something, and I came up with an idea: why not putting much efforts to be a professional programmer, and I can share this goal with my dear SS members. We can help each other in improving our skills, and who knows?? maybe life gets better suddenly.

And just after moments of having that idea, a question rose up: What's the point? why do you want to be a professional programmer? why you want to do this? I realized it's pointless then I came back to my normal/low state :D

Anyone else experienced the same thing?

Yes , this happens to me all the time. I'm stuck in an endless loop of , " You know, this seems like a great idea and a way to improve what time I will be here, not only for myself but my kids." Then other thoughts strong together, and down the line I'm back exactly where I started. It always ends with "Ugh... What's the use!"

For any of those out there who want to break this chain, as I know not everyone wants to, it's rather simple, but also not. It's just the matter of getting up and doing something about it. "A body in motion stays In motion" what have you.... In order to obtain energy the body has to move, or so I am told. Sometimes it can be easier said than done, while others it can be just as simple as saying. Again, for those of us who wish to Follow this path, mind over matter.

Best of Luck friends!

 

[nopointofliving]

Kinda? Writer, DJ, poker player, software engineer...

However, pointlessness doesn't bother me.

I guess I'm just lazy. I might get a burst of energy and go on a week/month binge, but inevitably realize I'm not feeling that much better and give up.

I feel you :( I don't think you're lazy, it's just we have no motivation or drive to do anything :(

Yes , this happens to me all the time. I'm stuck in an endless loop of , " You know, this seems like a great idea and a way to improve what time I will be here, not only for myself but my kids." Then other thoughts strong together, and down the line I'm back exactly where I started. It always ends with "Ugh... What's the use!"

For any of those out there who want to break this chain, as I know not everyone wants to, it's rather simple, but also not. It's just the matter of getting up and doing something about it. "A body in motion stays In motion" what have you.... In order to obtain energy the body has to move, or so I am told. Sometimes it can be easier said than done, while others it can be just as simple as saying. Again, for those of us who wish to Follow this path, mind over matter.

Best of Luck friends!

I'm stuck in the same cycle.

I don't think I'm suitable for long term goals. I see no point in doing anything. It's better to focus on short tiny hourly goal (not even daily goal). I tell myself: can you do this baby step now? If I can, okay. If not, it doesn't even matter.

 

[WornOutLife]

Before being able to kinda recover, (I'm working and studying again), I used to think the same.
"Damn, tomorrow I should start trying to have a bit of a normal life at least but, is it really worthy?"

I think asking yourself this question is some kind of improvement.

Just try to start with those baby steps and see how you feel.

In my case, silly things such as cleaning my room and taking a shower everyday really helped me to do bigger stuff such as wanted to work again.

 

[Shadowrider]

This altering is quite familiar to me.
Sometimes I would have plans about the future, teaching myself devop or software engineering skills, and I do get started... and as soon as I realize how I enjoy doing it and it's not an impossible challenge, this deep and inner urge to punish myself comes forth. And of course there will be no progress in what I am about to learn. Just the usual self-dangerousness.

I would like to know how to not feel guilty about wanting to do something sensible. I know I could make it, it's just that I cannot see myself worthy enough to it.

I can do physical things. I can do practical things. I can do the most boring chores.
It's only my strongest side - being a quick learner and having a thing for solving complex and abstract problems - that seems to be forbidden to use. If I do, this irresistable urge to take revenge on myself becomes so insanely strong that I repent the mere thought of wanting to do something with a meaning.

I don't like being so negative, and I think I would not want to CTB if I could give up this brutality. I see it's irrational to think I am unworthy to use my abilities. Anyone else experiencing such extremities?

 

[unperson]

Yes , this happens to me all the time. I'm stuck in an endless loop of , " You know, this seems like a great idea and a way to improve what time I will be here, not only for myself but my kids." Then other thoughts strong together, and down the line I'm back exactly where I started. It always ends with "Ugh... What's the use!"

For any of those out there who want to break this chain, as I know not everyone wants to, it's rather simple, but also not. It's just the matter of getting up and doing something about it. "A body in motion stays In motion" what have you.... In order to obtain energy the body has to move, or so I am told. Sometimes it can be easier said than done, while others it can be just as simple as saying. Again, for those of us who wish to Follow this path, mind over matter.

Best of Luck friends!

Yeah it seems like this is the ubiquitous and pervasive problem most of us deal with. Ya ever see someone with the opposite problem..? One of those 'doers' who deludes themselves with notions of virtue but really they're often just as powerless over how active they are and can't sit down and take a break to save their life!, even when they broke 3 ribs from crashing into the only other skier on that particular slope that—there was so much space too, like, why..?—and the doctor was like 'yo, dude u gotta fuckin chill for a min and not be movin around so much for a few weeks; but then every couple hours they can't resist the urge to get up and move heavy furniture to redo the housing layout while they're temporarily home from work supposedly 'recovering' only to refracture two of the ribs that weren't even that fractured to begin with!, and so but then-...

anyway you get the point right

 

[jensrij7]

Same here, even with small things like self care or taking care of the home.