And then people just expect you to magically know the proper response to every interaction. Of course you know you can't talk to anyone about all the struggles you went through and all the things you did because they'd yell at you. Doesn't help that you have low intellect and emotional intelligence so you avoid human interaction as much as possible out of fear of getting yelled at again.
You know like... looking at my life logically even if I somehow did everything absolutely morally correct and perfect I'd still have to end up at the very least buying some kind of gun (and I say that because back then I probably wouldn't have known about shotgun suicides). It's like I was always supposed to just kill myself because like let's say I wanted to get a career in art. Well knowing me I'd want to be a full time artist. I'd have literally no idea how to do that so I'd have to end up working 9-5 jobs just to pay the bills (because I'd still be living with my family) and then researching suicide methods because I'd know there's no way I'd make it in life.
You know like... looking at my life logically even if I somehow did everything absolutely morally correct and perfect I'd still have to end up at the very least buying some kind of gun (and I say that because back then I probably wouldn't have known about shotgun suicides). It's like I was always supposed to just kill myself because like let's say I wanted to get a career in art. Well knowing me I'd want to be a full time artist. I'd have literally no idea how to do that so I'd have to end up working 9-5 jobs just to pay the bills (because I'd still be living with my family) and then researching suicide methods because I'd know there's no way I'd make it in life.
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