Subconscious wanting you dead

[Carina]

Maybe weird, maybe not? I was just curious, does anyone ever notice that you can tell what your subconscious wants, and realize that it totally wants you dead--so much so that it tries to get you to accidently kill yourself. And you have to consciously stop it, as maybe you just can't do that yet, or maybe you don't want to..... I'm assuming that not wanting to might be an option, but really the subconscious, at least to me, is just a reflection of what you really want.

Like you're taking your normal pills--and then you forget if you took them, so you take them again.... then you forget if you took them, so you take them again...
Or your dreams are non-stop stressors to try and force you into depression (since, well, you already are possibly, and your subconscious is you, so it's good at knowing what buttons to push)
Or in dreams it gives you ways you can kill yourself, even offers devices to kill yourself with to play with... like for "practice"
Or your driving, and you notice you're heading toward the oncoming traffic, even though you swear you had your hands to go straight..

Things like that,... Just like things you notice that makes you know exactly where your brain stands (like if you could see yourself from outside yourself).

 

[zherhk]

My subconscious wants me alive to keep the mockery on.
Will not win.
Subconscious in general likes sabotage.
Actually is it my rational side that tells me what's the best thing to do.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I always hear a voice in my head that tells me to do it and what I am waiting for if all the days i suffer.

 

[TearyEyedQueen]

My subconscious keeps reminding me that life is inheritely pointless because everyone I love is gonna die before me so I should go first not to witness that.

 

[WhyIsLife56]

My subconscious is telling me that I want to die constantly so I don't have to suffer anymore. It keeps asking me why do I exist. It keeps telling me to find a reliable method so I can end it reliably.
It tells me I don't want to live anymore

 

[Mizzmini45]

My subconscious keeps reminding me that life is inheritely pointless because everyone I love is gonna die before me so I should go first not to witness that.

Agree. I just don't wanna go through the enviable

 

[Carina]

My subconscious is telling me that I want to die constantly so I don't have to suffer anymore. It keeps asking me why do I exist. It keeps telling me to find a reliable method so I can end it reliably.
It tells me I don't want to live anymore

Reliable, pain free (or close to it) and leaving no marks (other than expected)... and that'd be mine's list.


My subconscious has wanted to die for so long... honestly, what is a will to live? I honestly don't think I have it. I have a will to die on my terms, and not have the power taken from me.

Like now, I am in total agreement with myself I'm only stopping myself because I have to wait now for a set event. The thing is? my subconscious can easily take over. Like say if someone said "in front of you are 5 bottles, 4 will kill you, one is harmless." I'd grab one without hesitation, and probably see if I could have another "just in case".