Venting Stupid garbage society...

[Promortalist_]

I have horrible social anxiety. All my life I have been forced to interact with people I don't like. Every family/friends gathering turns into a "who is the most successful" contest. Every conversation I have at these gatherings are about jobs, money, beauty, house, cars, looks and weight loss. In my culture, it is quite common to boast about these things and/or how smart your children are. I should've gotten used to it by now but it kills me seeing people leading successful lives and I can't.

My family knows about my mental illness and they are supportive of me. Family friends often ask about me, and instead of being honest my family exaggerates my life. They describe me as someone who has a good job, a college degree and cooks amazing food. I love food and the process of cooking calms me down but sometimes food tastes fine while other times it tastes bad. Lol they have legit told everyone that I am this amazing perfect Masterchef and it is EXHAUSTING to live up to their expectations. I just can't.

I know that my family loves me very much and I understand that on the outside they have to pretend that everything is fine with me.

I just HATE this society and stupid close minded people so much. For us, it is also taboo to talk about mental illness or even physical illness (since I am young, therefore there should be nothing wrong with me..mentally or physically)

Thanks for reading my rant.

I swear I am going to snap one day and do this to everyone.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

Yeah that really sucks. Do you really have a good job? I wish I fucking did. At least you're able to have conversations even though they sound like really shitty bragging ones. I don't have shit to say to people.

 

[Promortalist_]

Yeah that really sucks. Do you really have a good job? I wish I fucking did. At least you're able to have conversations even though they sound like really shitty bragging ones. I don't have shit to say to people.

hahaha totally forgot to clarify. I neither have a good job nor a college degree (I dropped out 3 times). As for the conversations go, I am constantly embarrassing myself, saying stupid things and oversharing dumb/personal stuff about myself. I legit don't know how to function like a normal person. XD

I don't have shit to say to people.

That's much so much better than oversharing. Lol people get second hand embarrassment when I talk. The look on their faces.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really frustrating to have to deal with, I hate interacting with many others, it is exhausting to me.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

hahaha totally forgot to clarify. I neither have a good job nor a college degree (I dropped out 3 times). As for the conversations go, I am constantly embarrassing myself, saying stupid things and oversharing dumb/personal stuff about myself. I legit don't know how to function like a normal person. XD


That's much so much better than oversharing. Lol people get second hand embarrassment when I talk. The look on their faces.

Just curious but how do you have things to talk about if you don't

hahaha totally forgot to clarify. I neither have a good job nor a college degree (I dropped out 3 times). As for the conversations go, I am constantly embarrassing myself, saying stupid things and oversharing dumb/personal stuff about myself. I legit don't know how to function like a normal person. XD


That's much so much better than oversharing. Lol people get second hand embarrassment when I talk. The look on their faces.

I'm seeing on a Unemployed sub on Reddit that many college grads are totally fucked so don't feel too bad about not having a degree...I guess. Idk.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I am so sorry you have to experience this. I also relate to being forced to interact with people I don't like and enjoy and relate to. It's an awful feeling inside. It's amazing how you guys are so open about your problems to your family. I'm scared to tell them because everyone will know I been suffering for 14 years with depression and anxiety. I need to be more honest and open about my issues so they can know why I CTB .