Venting stuck in limbo

[serah]

i come back every so often to just vent out my frustrations and feelings somewhere. i feel stuck. i feel like im in a stage where im meant to progress on my own like everyone around me yet i cannot. i wake up, go to work, come home, sleep for a couple hours and then spend the rest of the night doing whatever until its time to fall asleep again and wake up the next morning. i'm not progressing. i havent become the person i want to be, and everyday i feel this weird feeling in my chest grow. the realization this is all im meant to be, all that my life will probably continue to be. i havent experienced love. probably never will. i feel as though my entire life will be just this, wishing to change and be someone else but never doing anything about it. i feel so miserable, part of me is unsure if i should continue to live. until when will i give myself a chance to change? until when will i ultimately just realize i wont ever be someone id proudly look at in the mirror. i hate myself so much to the point i've stopped taking my meds and going to therapy. part of me wants to ruin myself again, to the point in which id have no other choice but to ctb. atleast i'd be out of this loop.

 

[Ju1z]

I can relate to this so much. I know this might not be much help, but have you considered switching up your daily routine? Even if it is just doing one new thing every day. Sending love x

 

[serah]

I can relate to this so much. I know this might not be much help, but have you considered switching up your daily routine? Even if it is just doing one new thing every day. Sending love x

i try. try to do new things, sometimes things that are good for me like implementing a better skincare routine or trying to exercise. idk i just end up giving up and going back to the same old routine.

 

[KarmicRain]

I feel you too much, like i just don't have it in me to change anymore. There's too much coming I was never ready for and I don't ever want to see it. i keep waking up to the same nightmarish living hell

 

[Ju1z]

i try. try to do new things, sometimes things that are good for me like implementing a better skincare routine or trying to exercise. idk i just end up giving up and going back to the same old routine.

Yeah, that is completely understandable. I know shit feels impossible when you are feeling that bad, but maybe some type of accountability journal or something would help... just starting simply with one, small achievable change... something you have not tried yet.