Method Sttrugglling to find a method

[endofdays]

I'm really struggling, much as I love those around me life has become intolerable. I cannot sleep and no longer care for anything in life. I have been diagnosed with a liife limiting illness which willl inevitably take my life in a very unpleasant way and this cannot be stopped. . I am desperate and can no longer go on.
I have tried to hang myself but my courage fails me. I have. Also tried strangulation with aplastic bag as a back up but cannot get the tourniquet tight. Enough before running out of air whic just makes me panic and remove the bag.
So I am not ssure what to do next. I have obtained some Wolfsbane and although poisoning is unpleasant I wondered if I ingested Some whilst the noose was. Round my neck, the poison would make me indifferent to thee pain of hanging or the problem of making myself 'step off' which I find impsssiible to do.
I know this sounds convoluted but I cannot find another way and am truly desperate. Does anyone know of a less painful way to go or how to take that final step?

 

[Sea Turtle]

Poisoning using plants is very unreliable and typically very painful. I'm sorry life has thrown all of this at you and I suggest reading linked thread. I hope you find peace

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/suicide-resource-compilation.3/

 

[endofdays]

I live in a country wher SN is illegal and cannot be obtained. I have toyed with the idea of obtaining N but am not sure it would arrive or how to determine if it is genuine or not. Whilst people seem to thin D is. A reliable and genuine source I"m not clear how I would know if it was the real thing if I was to order it. Please help me, I cannot find a way to go on.

 

[Sea Turtle]

I believe there are test kits for N, and it may help to keyword search in the forums your country to see if others have had experience with importing N, if that's the path you want to go down.

We cannot tell you what to do, I just encourage you to make full use of the resources here and find the best path for yourself.

 

[endofdays]

I have scoured the methods but with no reliable access to drugs i a left with hanging. I tried both suspension - I cannot make myself ' step off' as the pain is excruciating and partial which I cannot get to work in any form, I. Just end up very frustrated with no progress.
I know sounds like it is not my time to die it most definitely is as every night I lie awake begging to die before morning. I tried not eating aad drinking but know that before I get to the end my family' will call Ann ambulance and ii will be saved an sent back to the psych hospital where I recently spent 10 weeks after aa previous failed attempt.

 

[Britvik]

Have you considered inert gas + an Exit bag?

Thread 'Exit bag and inert gas megathread'
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/exit-bag-and-inert-gas-megathread.8393/

 

[endofdays]

Yes but obtaining suitable source seems impossible as they only want to supply companies not individuals.

 

[FuneralCry]

I am sorry that you are suffering so much, I can imagine that it must be unbearable what you are going through. I wish that ctb was easier more than anything, it is a horrible world we live in where our right to die is not respected and we are denied the option to peacefully exit. I feel as though I am trapped in this world as suicide is so difficult. I wish you the best in whatever happens.