Struggling with the Unknown

[WillOxyWork]

None of us can say with 100% certainty what happens when we die. Lately, I have been reading about near death experiences, especially of those from attempted suicides. I want to say that there is probably nothing waiting for us after death, but the thought that I may face consequences after my death for ending my own life scares me.

At the same time, I don't think I have the strength to endure my suffering any longer. I have struggled my whole life with depression, and now I have tinnitus and vision issues that have effectively ruined all of my hobbies and sources of enjoyment. I constantly yearn for peace from this agony. I'm just so scared more agony will await me after dying.

 

[person123]

What happens to people who die of old age?

 

[JD8080]

I honestly don't even think about what happens after a sling as I do not have to suffer here any longer.
I meant as long as I. See I can't even text without fucking up

 

[Arrow]

there's always a non zero chance that anything could happen, truthfully, but relax knowing that there's no reason to fear death as it is almost guaranteed nothing is gonna happen. being dead is functionally the same as not being born yet; you just don't exist at all. no pun intended, but there's nothing to be afraid of, so don't worry.

i'd also like to point out that hell as a concept was created only to brainwash millions, even billions, of people into believing a religion so that that religion could become more powerful. "do bad things? you get punished forever. leave the religion? also punished forever!" it's literally a mind trick designed to fuck with people, and unfortunately history has shown it to be incredibly effective.

 

[WillOxyWork]

I honestly don't even think about what happens after a sling as I do not have to suffer here any longer.
I meant as long as I. See I can't even text without fucking up

Everyone fucks up while texting. You just gotta go back and edit your errors :)

 

[speck]

I think about this a lot. I hope that if there is something else, it's not a punishment. Sometimes I hope there is a god and they will somehow understand Why I made my choice because they are omniscient. This is my best case scenario.

 

[Weightoftheworld]

I'd rather risk the unknown than to keep suffering.

 

[Heart Shards]

I think horror writers like H.P Lovecraft get underneath our skin and in our heads so much because they project the fear of the unknown. Alby, from The Maze Runner said, "If you ain't scared, you ain't human."

 

[sadghost]

I empathize and I'm sorry for your struggles. I think your fears about punishment after death stems from religious doctrines and pro-life rhetoric, something like "don't kill yourself because you'll go to Hell." I have spent some time researching different theories about what happens after we die. I personally find it hard to believe that there is a benevolent God who loves me that would send me to Hell just for ending my own suffering. Of course nobody alive knows what happens for sure, but this theory is quite absurd to me - but I am also not religious

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I've done a lot of pondering on the survival instinct. I've come to the tentative conclusion that there are two types: there is the purely physical, based on limitations such the need to breathe when suffocating, and then there is the mental, which is a message that says, "I just can't."

From this perspective, what I read in the OP is, "I want to, but I just can't."

I'm sharing a couple of quotes from a thread I started on this subject, which may or may not help with your perspective on what you are experiencing. When I wrote it, I was only considering methods, and your post broadened my perspective. Therefore the quotes are not directly related to fears regarding what comes after death, particularly a suicide death, but to the idea of "I just can't," which appears to me to be in competion with your "I need" and "I want." Perhaps I'm wrong about that, or at best, not quite nailing it. If what I share here is of no interest or turns out to not serve in your situation, no worries.

I'm interested to hear responses to my working theory, which is:

Survival instinct is a message: "I just can't." Because of this message, one aborts an attempt, or never attempts certain methods at all.

The message may or may not be related to the method. If it is related to the method, one can conceivably suicide by a different method that is personally agreeable/non-fear inducing to them to attempt, and to experience without aborting, due to rapid loss of consciousness. If the message is motivated by pure survival instinct, it will arise in relation to any method, regardless of peacefulness, and one will be either prohibited from attempting or will abort any attempt.

An imminent threat that is worse than any fear of the method or its outcome will override the survival instinct, and change the message from "I just can't" to "I can." The threat must be perceived as worse than fear of the method and/or death, thus turnining suicide into an act of self-preservation and therefore survival.

I am terrified of heights because I do not have stereovision, so I don't see in 3-D or have decent depth perception. Jumping is not the method for me. However, if I were standing near a cliff and a band of terrorists was running toward me and I knew they would torture me, suddenly the survival instinct would be such that "I can't" would be in response to the greater threat, and I would jump. But if I had been in the World Trade Center, I think I would have been more likely to face the fire than to jump. At that extreme height, I might not even jump to escape imminent torture by a band of terrorists. For my body, that kind of height is an incomprehensible terror, and it just says, "No."

P.S. @WillOxyWork, May I have your permission to quote your OP in that thread? I'd like to add the perspective of other fears such as the afterlife and potential punishment. I can do it without quoting or directly referencing you if that is your preference. If you don't respond, I'll respectfully take it as a no and won't quote.

 

[Deleted member 19276]

Whatever there is on the other side, I just hope it's not the same.
If anything, I am hoping it feels like what it felt before I was born - Empty darkness.
Without anyone doing anything bad to me. Without having to worry about memories that will cease to exist.

To those that believe in afterlife, or pretty much whatever they think there might be, I want to tell them that it's okay to want stuff like that too.
Truth is, we can't know at this point and we won't be able to return after it to share.

 

[meerpasta]

In the end everyone will die and have to face whatever is or isn't there in the beyond. It's not something you can choose and delaying suicide won't help you avoid it. I think it would be best not to focus too much on it because of that, instead consider life as a step in your journey, the next step being death. If you don't enjoy life, maybe it would be best to just get it over with quickly. If not, you'll end up taking the next step eventually either way, but your choice lies in how soon you want to do it.

 

[Heavy]

there's always a non zero chance that anything could happen, truthfully, but relax knowing that there's no reason to fear death as it is almost guaranteed nothing is gonna happen. being dead is functionally the same as not being born yet; you just don't exist at all. no pun intended, but there's nothing to be afraid of, so don't worry.

i'd also like to point out that hell as a concept was created only to brainwash millions, even billions, of people into believing a religion so that that religion could become more powerful. "do bad things? you get punished forever. leave the religion? also punished forever!" it's literally a mind trick designed to fuck with people, and unfortunately history has shown it to be incredibly effective.

Very true.
Also don't forget that fear is a powerful tool that can mold people and make them believe what you want in order for yourself to become richer.
This technique has been used by billions of people in order for them to become kings.

Fear really strikes people cold. People are pathetic.

 

[person123]

I know there is nothing, but my OCD produces irrational fears, and to me, they are just another reason to die.

 

[WillOxyWork]

I've done a lot of pondering on the survival instinct. I've come to the tentative conclusion that there are two types: there is the purely physical, based on limitations such the need to breathe when suffocating, and then there is the mental, which is a message that says, "I just can't."

From this perspective, what I read in the OP is, "I want to, but I just can't."

I'm sharing a couple of quotes from a thread I started on this subject, which may or may not help with your perspective on what you are experiencing. When I wrote it, I was only considering methods, and your post broadened my perspective. Therefore the quotes are not directly related to fears regarding what comes after death, particularly a suicide death, but to the idea of "I just can't," which appears to me to be in competion with your "I need" and "I want." Perhaps I'm wrong about that, or at best, not quite nailing it. If what I share here is of no interest or turns out to not serve in your situation, no worries.






P.S. @WillOxyWork, May I have your permission to quote your OP in that thread? I'd like to add the perspective of other fears such as the afterlife and potential punishment. I can do it without quoting or directly referencing you if that is your preference. If you don't respond, I'll respectfully take it as a no and won't quote.

You have my permission to quote me.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I don't really care about afterlife stuff tbh, could be anything so there's no point thinking about it

 

[Meditation guide]

I'm just so scared more agony will await me after dying.

Nope it won't, I'm pretty sure. Suicide is a very common way of death. I doubt that any type of punishment awaits.