PlathWannaBe
Member
- Nov 15, 2019
- 71
Hi,
So I completed approximately 3 years of therapy in April of 2020, and because I was starting to feel better, I very slowly started going off of the SSRI Citalopram which I was very proud of (I decreased the dosage from 10 mg to 0 over roughly 4 months). One of my main goals for quitting the medication was that I had serious delayed ejaculation, and this was making it difficult to start a relationship, so I thought quitting Citalopram would fix that.
Even before I reached 0 mg, I noticed weirdly that the erection quality I was having wasn't that good, but I just thought that would improve with time. Over the months, I have noticed some improvements, like certain erogenous zones of my body feel much more sensitive than before, which is a good thing. I also no longer have delayed ejaculation, however when I do orgasm, it's often with no ejaculation which is weird.
I am now slightly over the 9 month mark that I've quit Citalopram, and my body doesn't seem to have progressed very much with regards to sexual dysfunction other than the few things I listed above. Before when I took Citalopram, I could at least get and maintain an erection. Now, it's difficult to get or maintain an erection, which means sex has basically been out of the question, which also means no chance for a relationship at the moment.
I'm worried that because it's been so long since I've stopped the medication, that Citalopram may have somehow damaged me permanently. I've spoken about this with my Psychiatrist a few times. In the beginning, he recommended just waiting. The last time I saw him, he recommended that I go and see an Endocrinologist, so I've made an appointment, and will see one in February to have my hormones tested. That is sort of the next milestone that I'm looking forward to and hoping will provide me with some answers.
I have to say that during the summer of 2020, I was feeling quite upbeat and optimistic, because I felt like not that much time had passed since I stopped the medicine and my body would still have time to heal, and I would get over this. As time has gone on however, and I haven't really noticed continued improvement, I noticed that this was really starting to weigh on me during Christmas time.
I feel like if my body doesn't recover back to the level of what I was roughly before I started taking Citalopram (I took it for roughly 9 years), I won't be able to have sex, and I won't be able to pursue a relationship, which means I'll end up spending life alone. I know that many people do this, and are completely fine with it, but I always really enjoyed sex, and frankly don't want to be alone until I die.
I hadn't been feeling suicidal at all for most of 2020, but since around Christmas, I've noticed that this problem of sexual dysfunction has really begun to affect my mood, and I'm beginning to have more suicidal thoughts. I keep thinking- what is the point if I can't share sexuality with someone? This is something that's really important to me and would definitely lessen my quality of life.
I've always had problems with fatigue and sleeping and motivation to get things done, but since Christmas, these things have all seemed to have gotten much worse. It's a bit sad too, because the last time I saw my therapist towards the beginning of December, I was so full of hope and optimism. Now, I just feel tired all the time and I don't want to do anything.
Does anyone else have a similar struggle? Is there hope? I'm beginning to wonder if this is the beginning of the end for me.
So I completed approximately 3 years of therapy in April of 2020, and because I was starting to feel better, I very slowly started going off of the SSRI Citalopram which I was very proud of (I decreased the dosage from 10 mg to 0 over roughly 4 months). One of my main goals for quitting the medication was that I had serious delayed ejaculation, and this was making it difficult to start a relationship, so I thought quitting Citalopram would fix that.
Even before I reached 0 mg, I noticed weirdly that the erection quality I was having wasn't that good, but I just thought that would improve with time. Over the months, I have noticed some improvements, like certain erogenous zones of my body feel much more sensitive than before, which is a good thing. I also no longer have delayed ejaculation, however when I do orgasm, it's often with no ejaculation which is weird.
I am now slightly over the 9 month mark that I've quit Citalopram, and my body doesn't seem to have progressed very much with regards to sexual dysfunction other than the few things I listed above. Before when I took Citalopram, I could at least get and maintain an erection. Now, it's difficult to get or maintain an erection, which means sex has basically been out of the question, which also means no chance for a relationship at the moment.
I'm worried that because it's been so long since I've stopped the medication, that Citalopram may have somehow damaged me permanently. I've spoken about this with my Psychiatrist a few times. In the beginning, he recommended just waiting. The last time I saw him, he recommended that I go and see an Endocrinologist, so I've made an appointment, and will see one in February to have my hormones tested. That is sort of the next milestone that I'm looking forward to and hoping will provide me with some answers.
I have to say that during the summer of 2020, I was feeling quite upbeat and optimistic, because I felt like not that much time had passed since I stopped the medicine and my body would still have time to heal, and I would get over this. As time has gone on however, and I haven't really noticed continued improvement, I noticed that this was really starting to weigh on me during Christmas time.
I feel like if my body doesn't recover back to the level of what I was roughly before I started taking Citalopram (I took it for roughly 9 years), I won't be able to have sex, and I won't be able to pursue a relationship, which means I'll end up spending life alone. I know that many people do this, and are completely fine with it, but I always really enjoyed sex, and frankly don't want to be alone until I die.
I hadn't been feeling suicidal at all for most of 2020, but since around Christmas, I've noticed that this problem of sexual dysfunction has really begun to affect my mood, and I'm beginning to have more suicidal thoughts. I keep thinking- what is the point if I can't share sexuality with someone? This is something that's really important to me and would definitely lessen my quality of life.
I've always had problems with fatigue and sleeping and motivation to get things done, but since Christmas, these things have all seemed to have gotten much worse. It's a bit sad too, because the last time I saw my therapist towards the beginning of December, I was so full of hope and optimism. Now, I just feel tired all the time and I don't want to do anything.
Does anyone else have a similar struggle? Is there hope? I'm beginning to wonder if this is the beginning of the end for me.