Help strong urges but no methods

[GoneGoneGone]

Hi everyone,

I had a failed attempt two weeks ago, and my SN was found. After getting discharged I thought I would receive new meds to keep the suicidal thoughts at bay, but no.

Since yesterday I've been again agitated, and I feel I need to go asap, but I don't have a method. SN is gone, and I'm really bad at partial, so much so that I hurt myself and have difficulties swallowing. I have some antidepressants (and suffer from serotonin syndrome), and a surgical knife that I could use. I called the help line as a Hail Mary, and they told me to meditate...

I'm scared of myself as I think I'll just start going at it with the surgical knife, but if I lock myself in the bathroom my partner will just call an ambulance or the police.

What to do? I feel I need to exit asap and I'm guilt ridden for not having stuck it out two weeks ago, and trying to throw up...

Thanks for any support or feedback. Please be kind to me as I'm already losing it. Thank you.

 

[LastRide]

Oh dear, that sounds like you're in a really terrible situation....so sorry for you ! The only advice I could give you don't try anything with the surgical knife nor the anti-depressants, these are not failsafe mehtods, you will just end up in hospital and feel even worse afterwards. If you're not good at partial according to yourself, why not try full suspension hanging? It's a reliable way to go and if executed correctly it causes a minimum of discomfort. But you'd have to fins a moment when you're alone in the house, if you live with someone it's going to be difficult to execute, there is always some thrashing around once you're unconscious and it will alert people in the house there is something strange going on. But right now I get the feeling you are in such a state of panic there is no method that is going to work properly. Can you not go somewhere and try to calm down and think things through? I wish you all the best.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

Oh dear, that sounds like you're in a really terrible situation....so sorry for you ! The only advice I could give you don't try anything with the surgical knife nor the anti-depressants, these are not failsafe mehtods, you will just end up in hospital and feel even worse afterwards. If you're not good at partial according to yourself, why not try full suspension hanging? It's a reliable way to go and if executed correctly it causes a minimum of discomfort. But you'd have to fins a moment when you're alone in the house, if you live with someone it's going to be difficult to execute, there is always some thrashing around once you're unconscious and it will alert people in the house there is something strange going on. But right now I get the feeling you are in such a state of panic there is no method that is going to work properly. Can you not go somewhere and try to calm down and think things through? I wish you all the best.

Thank you. I'm very terrified of full or even partial and the risk of becoming a veggie.
I called again the crisis line, at this point it's the only thing I can do, and they told me to wait till tomorrow to go to the GP. I was very liberal and gave them plenty details that I'm in bad shape.

 

[Living sucks]

Hi everyone,

I had a failed attempt two weeks ago, and my SN was found. After getting discharged I thought I would receive new meds to keep the suicidal thoughts at bay, but no.

Since yesterday I've been again agitated, and I feel I need to go asap, but I don't have a method. SN is gone, and I'm really bad at partial, so much so that I hurt myself and have difficulties swallowing. I have some antidepressants (and suffer from serotonin syndrome), and a surgical knife that I could use. I called the help line as a Hail Mary, and they told me to meditate...

I'm scared of myself as I think I'll just start going at it with the surgical knife, but if I lock myself in the bathroom my partner will just call an ambulance or the police.

What to do? I feel I need to exit asap and I'm guilt ridden for not having stuck it out two weeks ago, and trying to throw up...

Thanks for any support or feedback. Please be kind to me as I'm already losing it. Thank you.

Someone posted positively about an online crisis chat called imalive. Maybe you can try that

 

[GoneGoneGone]

Someone posted positively about an online crisis chat called imalive. Maybe you can try that

Thanks. I told them honestly that I am a danger to myself and will start cutting or something, and they just let me. Advantages of this wonderful pro choice country. I don't think they understand mental illness.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

Following my call to the help line, I have now been told that I do not qualify for therapy as now I am in too bad shape, and they can only offer therapy when I am in stable shape So what to do now? I cannot believe this is actually happening.

 

[LastRide]

Following my call to the help line, I have now been told that I do not qualify for therapy as now I am in too bad shape, and they can only offer therapy when I am in stable shape So what to do now? I cannot believe this is actually happening.

What the fuck??? This is unbelievable ! You have to be in good shape to qualify for therapy??? Wow ! That makes a whole lot of sense...(I am being ironic of course), like so much in this piece of shit they call life.....

 

[GoneGoneGone]

What the fuck??? This is unbelievable ! You have to be in good shape to qualify for therapy??? Wow ! That makes a whole lot of sense...(I am being ironic of course), like so much in this piece of shit they call life.....

I think their only purpose is to push papers and bill my insurance as much as possible. They once made a mistake and billed me instead of the insurer for a meager one-hour chat with a psychologist, and they had billed 1000 EUR.

 

[ghostgirl1995]

What happened to the SN? Can you re order it? :( I feel you tho same situation.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

What happened to the SN? Can you re order it? :( I feel you tho same situation.

The SN was found. "Partner" says if I reorder it then he'll push for me to be taken to a ward. I don't have any other reliable methods