I named this post after the feelings I have now.
To me, anxiety is just thinking too much about the wrong things. I would like to think more about better things such as financial security and companionship, but I'm not. So lately I have been thinking (ironic) what if I just stepped back and stopped thinking? Not in an end-your-life kind of way, but I guess as a re-centered, meditative, chi-alignment type of thing. But not only does this all sound like bullshit, but it's also super hard even if I give it a try.
It is also so hard to know about anything I'm talking about if you've never tried it. And that's exactly how I feel when I hear mental health advice like the above. Killing my bad thoughts and feelings all seem like things that will never happen in my life. And that is also, why now I feel hopelessness.
Maybe one day I can push down these walls between me and true fulfillment. But I wouldn't be surprised if I never did. It would be so much easier for me to just die already. But again, there is a wall between me and suicide too. Here's a picture:
And now that we're talking about it, I have also felt trapped like this before too. Specifically, when I was a little boy, maybe 15 years ago.
Stress, anxiety, loneliness, hopelessness, and trapped.
I've been told I suck at handling my emotions before, and this is the first time I think I can see what they were talking about.
I wonder if I need some sort of reframe or recontextualization to tackle my negative-feelings problem I'm having right now. Given how stuck I feel.
To me, anxiety is just thinking too much about the wrong things. I would like to think more about better things such as financial security and companionship, but I'm not. So lately I have been thinking (ironic) what if I just stepped back and stopped thinking? Not in an end-your-life kind of way, but I guess as a re-centered, meditative, chi-alignment type of thing. But not only does this all sound like bullshit, but it's also super hard even if I give it a try.
It is also so hard to know about anything I'm talking about if you've never tried it. And that's exactly how I feel when I hear mental health advice like the above. Killing my bad thoughts and feelings all seem like things that will never happen in my life. And that is also, why now I feel hopelessness.
Maybe one day I can push down these walls between me and true fulfillment. But I wouldn't be surprised if I never did. It would be so much easier for me to just die already. But again, there is a wall between me and suicide too. Here's a picture:
And now that we're talking about it, I have also felt trapped like this before too. Specifically, when I was a little boy, maybe 15 years ago.
Stress, anxiety, loneliness, hopelessness, and trapped.
I've been told I suck at handling my emotions before, and this is the first time I think I can see what they were talking about.
I wonder if I need some sort of reframe or recontextualization to tackle my negative-feelings problem I'm having right now. Given how stuck I feel.
