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Anna.

Anna.

Wishing I never existed
Aug 24, 2022
68
i take meds that work for me as a bipolar person, so i don't have manic episodes or extra depressive episodes but i'm still planning on ctb and i'm still depressed af. is that weird?? i feel like i'm crazy
 
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Drakkamora

Drakkamora

Don't even know anymore
Dec 30, 2022
37
I definitely feel you. I'm bipolar myself. I don't feel depressed and I'm fairly certain I'm not in a manic but I'm completely ready to ctb
 
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Obliviate

Obliviate

Abandon All Hope
Aug 13, 2022
826
The thing is, everything we know about medicine is wrong. Meds only make you adapt to the fucked up environment, it doesn't make you "happier" just numb. Instead of the government/society changing, they'd rather turn us into brainwashed robots who adhere to society and it's inhumane rules to survive.

If bad things keep happening to you, no medicine is gonna make you happy all it does is make you deal with the issues more.

The day you realize this, is the day you have "awaken"
 
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vultureilse

vultureilse

ready to go, just waiting for the right time!
Dec 31, 2022
144
yeah can relate, i take antidepressants and they make me feel a bit better like i have slightly more motivation and energy and stuff but i still think about dying everyday. meds dont really fix much and it sucks
 
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donealready

A person
Dec 6, 2022
3,571
Not weird at all. Can totally relate. I take meds that have some benefits, but still planning to CTB. In fact now I have more motivation and less emotions to be able to hopefully make it happen.
 
Himalayan

Himalayan

"Wake up to reality, nothing ever goes as planned"
Sep 30, 2022
422
Meds don't change the way you think, only the way you feel
 
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Wannagonow

Specialist
Nov 16, 2022
376
I'm bipolar and have only smaller hypo-manic episodes, but HUGE long, deep depressive episodes that last for months. If someone is bipolar they can't take anti-depressants. They will likely send you into a big manic episode that won't be controlled well. I've always thought that sucked. After 30+ years of dealing with this I've tried a million different meds over the years. Nothing works well. You did say you're "depressed AF". That might cause you to want to ctb. Also, remember, not everyone who has suicidal thoughts is depressed. Sometimes there are other things going on. I've seen many on this site talk about that. I wish you the best and hope you find the answers you're looking for.
 
NikePopuli

NikePopuli

True freedom is found in death
Dec 10, 2022
23
I relate to you. My depression and anxiety meds only help with the physical symptoms. The mental problems are all still there and I'd imagine thats how they're supposed to work
 
Ineedtodie

Ineedtodie

Shame, Avoidance, hopelessness, lonliness, cbt, pm
Nov 9, 2022
401
Environment+ generalized behavior? Perhaps
 
Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
The thing is, everything we know about medicine is wrong. Meds only make you adapt to the fucked up environment, it doesn't make you "happier" just numb. Instead of the government/society changing, they'd rather turn us into brainwashed robots who adhere to society and it's inhumane rules to survive.

If bad things keep happening to you, no medicine is gonna make you happy all it does is make you deal with the issues more.

The day you realize this, is the day you have "awaken"
Had a similar experience on meds fir 30 years - was more functional but was avoiding deeper issues the entire time…. Meds can be helpful but a therapist keeping you honest would be crucial…
 
Obliviate

Obliviate

Abandon All Hope
Aug 13, 2022
826
Had a similar experience on meds fir 30 years - was more functional but was avoiding deeper issues the entire time…. Meds can be helpful but a therapist keeping you honest would be crucial…
I don't trust therapists, you honestly can't trust them, they work for ALL aspects of psychology and psychiatry including the evil parts meaning they have to conform to society brainwashing and dragging us along in doing so. If you're "too honest" you could get send to the psych ward and nahh
 

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