Staying alive for someone else?

[WaterfallsontheIsle]

I'm basically healthyish most of the time, BUT when I'm not I feel like the only thing anchoring me to life is my bf.

I think if I was single, I wouldn't really give a shit about trying to stay alive, and just let myself deteriorate until I ctb.

I think this is because I'm burnt out and disconnected from the world.

Regardless, this is obvs super unhealthy and idk how to manage it besides finding a way to care more somehow.

is there a therapeutic approach to this that any of you know of?

 

[bestbefore053121]

Just wanted to share... I used to feel guilty about planning to CTB, most especially since my BF's best friend also committed suicide. He feels so guilty about it—like he thinks he should have been a better friend and maybe he could have saved his life. Once I do it, he's probably going to be doubly guilty. He also has depression and suicidal ideations, and I'm afraid that my death would drive him to the edge. But nowadays I don't feel guilty anymore. I can choose to live and spare my BF the sadness, but that would mean I'd be living a life with extreme sadness. I ask myself, is his sadness more important than my sadness? Would it really be better to spare him the pain even if it meant I'd continue living in pain? Do I sacrifice my happiness (my impending death) to make him just a little bit happy? Anyway, I don't have any suggestions as to the therapeutic approach to your dilemma (sorry). I just wanted to share what I tell myself all the time. :)

 

[timf]

Life might offer additional options to the "either him or me" scenario.

If you are on your own, it is easier to get a sort of tunnel vision where things seem hopeless. Just the presence of someone else can work to reduce the focus on yourself and the emphasis of hopelessness that can result.

It is possible to move from reducing the darkness, to seeking the light with the encouragement of someone who cares about you. Consider all the ways one might experiment to find more "light"

Physical - exercise, sleep schedule, chores, work
Diet Nutritional - sugar, alcohol, drugs, fruits, vegetables, vitamins
Supplements - SAMe, lithium orotate, dopamine and serotonin boosters
Activities - clubs, volunteer work, church, outings

We might have difficulty attempting or continuing experimentation on own own, but the concerned exhortations of someone who cares could carry us into finding some combination that diminishes the darkness.

 

[hashtagnull]

Life might offer additional options to the "either him or me" scenario.

If you are on your own, it is easier to get a sort of tunnel vision where things seem hopeless. Just the presence of someone else can work to reduce the focus on yourself and the emphasis of hopelessness that can result.

It is possible to move from reducing the darkness, to seeking the light with the encouragement of someone who cares about you. Consider all the ways one might experiment to find more "light"

Physical - exercise, sleep schedule, chores, work
Diet Nutritional - sugar, alcohol, drugs, fruits, vegetables, vitamins
Supplements - SAMe, lithium orotate, dopamine and serotonin boosters
Activities - clubs, volunteer work, church, outings

We might have difficulty attempting or continuing experimentation on own own, but the concerned exhortations of someone who cares could carry us into finding some combination that diminishes the darkness.

What is SAMe, please?

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I'm in the same situation (minus the boyfriend), I think acceptance is a good first step. What "works" (keeps me from killing myself but not much more than that) for me is weight lifting and mindfulness (whether meditation or day-to-day awareness of sensory input).