Staying alive for other people's sake

[FallenFromGrace92]

I admit I'm a heartless bastard, but I don't understand the mentality of staying alive to save others pain.

For example my fiance is pregnant with our daughter. people saying I should stick around for them. But bruh my pain will never end in this life but the pain will end for them. All she has to do is maybe grieve for a few months then find another guy and have a child with them and il be a distant memory

 

[Whole-Ad]

They say suicide is selfish because you pass the pain onto those left behind. They are not the ones who have to live our lives. It's equally as selfish to force or guilt us into staying alive for them. I believe no one is obligated to live, we did not choose to be born. Therefore we should not be forced to continue living this unasked thing called life.

 

[WornOutLife]

I can relate.
I'm still alive on this blue rock because of my dad and dog. Can't leave them.

 

[blue_muse]

Doesn't make you heartless, having immediate family surround you doesn't make you magically 100%.

I tried staying alive for others for a number of years, but it turns out several of them aren't worth an afterthought.

 

[RedHarlequin]

I can't imagine staying alive for others long term too, the suffering is too intense. What haunts me however are images of my partner coming home and finding my suicide note, people having to see my dead body at the funeral, my mother suffering every moment for the rest of her life. Just typing this makes my heart break. However as I said my suffering is too intense so this will not stop me.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, I agree. If someone is suffering that much that they want to ctb then those behind should take comfort that the person is in a better place.

 

[OblivionSeeker]

If I can speak bluntly, the idea of calling a suicide victim "selfish" is absolute horse shit.

I was ready to walk out the door on Thursday, with everything I need. but I started thinking about my cats. and how much I love them. and how I never said goodbye to them. Then I got distracted with the whole thing.

and here I sit.

 

[elfgyoza]

I used to care, I used to sit and cry at the thought of leaving my family behind, but I realised that I don't owe anybody anything. We never asked to be born so we don't owe our lives to anyone.

 

[BandAddict]

I sort of understand, but it's hard for me to get past it. Like I know that living for others isn't sustainable long-term, it just isn't. But somehow the image in my mind of my mom or sibling finding me later and feeling helpless just throws me into a spiral of panic and guilt. I don't think people can just move on from something like that, if they give a shit it'll probably haunt them their whole life, and I feel awful for being the cause of something like that. It's a struggle, but I know I can't fight it forever.

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

I agree that it does not make sense the other person will get over it eventually I don't really understand how people can cry over someone that died 20 years ago like you see on documentaries.

i don't want to be rude though but I would recommend sticking around to see your daughter born at least, it might change your life but that is just my thoughts on it so please ignore if inappropriate.

 

[Tortured_empath]

All she has to do is maybe grieve for a few months then find another guy and have a child with them and il be a distant memory

Without knowing you two. I don't think this is the case.

 

[deflationary]

I think in most cases there's no duty to stick around for others (though it's admirable) but leaving behind one's unborn daughter is incredibly selfish and irresponsible.

 

[FallenFromGrace92]

Without knowing you two. I don't think this is the case.

what do you mean? Yes we love each other and are engaged and we had such a beautiful connection but yeah life goes on

 

[Carrotcake]

I don't think I can keep living indefinitely for the sake of my loved ones, the suffering weighs too heavy. However, I do feel obligated to exhaust all treatment options before I can finally leave.

 

[Butterfly65]

Yes, I agree. If someone is suffering that much that they want to ctb then those behind should take comfort that the person is in a better place.

@FuneralCry how do you know it's a better place?

 

[FuneralCry]

@FuneralCry how do you know it's a better place?

I don't know for certain but I believe that after we die there is nothing so therefore there is eternal peace. We are free from our suffering.

 

[TowerUpright]

I too feel stuck because of my family.. For a while, I would have CTBd at the first opportunity with SN (still have it). I had some other attempts in the last 5 years as well.

Now, I feel miserable, but can't CTB because of the financial and mental state of my immediate family. It would screw up one of my kids with 100 percent certainty. The rest, most likely. My spouse also would be terribly hurt.

I used to not care, but I also had a med switch in the last 6 months and that strong urge to CTB greatly diminished.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

It would destroy my ex. Also, would likely and literally kill my Dad as he is already very depressed and in poor physical health. Plus, he is very worried about me lately.