Method Starving

[JackTheStripper]

So, I have anorexia b/p subtype and I have a bmi of 14. I've been anorexic for almost 6 years now and I keep thinking about starving myself to death. After all, it would look like my death was an accident and maybe my family (who doesn't know that I'm anorexic) could handle it better if they didn't know that it was actually suicide.
But starving is a fucking long process. Especially bc I have episodes of binging and purging which can mess up the 'progress' I made. I lost about 17 Kg in 6 months and I have at least 7 Kg more to lose until I reach a life threatening weight.
But my sisters are already starting to ask questions and I don't know if I can keep this shit up any longer... I'm constantly on the verge of passing out and my heart is at 42 (sometimes 39) beats per minute. And STILL my stupid body is like: 'Fuck this shit, the bitch is healthy enough to still have periods n stuff like that.'
URRGH, why?!
Sry for the lil rant here. Any thoughts on this?

 

[SmellyRat]

Starving to death would be a very long painful experience.

Also your instincts will eventually kick in, and you'll want to eat something.

Sorry i don't think its a good idea.

 

[Pookie]

What would be a dangerously low weight? What do you weigh now? Starving yourself seems like a very drawn out process, you don't deserve to suffer that long.

 

[JackTheStripper]

What would be a dangerously low weight? What do you weigh now? Starving yourself seems like a very drawn out process, you don't deserve to suffer that long.

I weigh 47.7 kg at the moment (I'm 183 cm tall). This makes me a bmi of 14.2 A bmi of 11 is considered not being able to survive, soooo its roughly about 7 kg more to lose.
Thanks for the concern though But to be honest I think starving is the only thing I'm good at^^"

 

[Pookie]

I weigh about 40kg and am 163cm tall, so I'm underweight but not like you. I've got health issues going on and some days have a complete loss of appetite where I have to force food down.

 

[JackTheStripper]

I'm really sorry for you :/ Are your health issues related to you being underweight? If you don't mind me asking.

 

[Pookie]

I'm really sorry for you :/ Are your health issues related to you being underweight? If you don't mind me asking.

No, the health issues came before the weight loss. Although I don't think the weight loss is helping my health.

So basically starving yourself is your way to ctb?

 

[JackTheStripper]

Sorry to hear that :/
Yeah pretty much. I mean, I would try SN next year but I'm not so sure about that since I know very little about SN...

 

[Pookie]

Sorry to hear that :/
Yeah pretty much. I mean, I would try SN next year but I'm not so sure about that since I know very little about SN...

You say your sisters are starting to notice your weight loss so they may intervene. So then all your suffering will be for nothing.

 

[Canon1]

Don't kill yourself. I love tall, skinny girls. They are so rare in this obese society. You are attractive and special, if you ask me :)

 

[sourpink]

Don't kill yourself. I love tall, skinny girls. They are so rare in this obese society. You are attractive and special, if you ask me :)

I get you might think you're coming from a complementary place but these kinds of comments do not help those of us with EDs or women, in general.

@ OP -
I have long term restrictive type AN. my method isn't starvation, that's taking too long to work. also, I actually do want to do this intentionally. getting to or below a BMI of 11 will probably get you done though, and I'd think would seem more like complications from the ED rather than direct intentional ctb. regardless, sending solidarity and love.