nono, you not wanting to live anymore made sense, i was just making sure i wasn't misunderstanding you :)
and yeah, hanging is one of the methods that's kind of all-or-nothing, which is part of the reason why i like it. i'm a very all-or-nothing person, so i feel like it only makes sense for me to go out this way. i will admit that it is easy to fuck up if you don't know what you're doing, but that's why i suggest doing research on what position/height to hang yourself from, how to properly tie a noose and how to properly tie it to whatever you're hanging from, etc., and basically doing everything in your power to not fuck it up.
and as for ways to numb myelf, i sadly don't have access to any. i actually saw a post on this forum earlier where someone was wanting to hang themselves via full suspension, and to boof some oxytocin to relieve the pain. i feel like any drug similar to oxytocin would work in this scenario, but not only do i not have access to controlled drugs like that but i'm also terrified of the drug influencing me into backing out or somehow leading to me being caught.
at this point suffering through the pain is starting to seem worth it to avoid the trouble of getting drugs, i just. dont like pain. <//3
Yeah, I went and did some research, and it looks like those who hang themselves from a lower height are more likely to survive. Also looks like material matters, so if you hang yourself from something flimsy, it is going to break and ruin the attempt. I guess that rules trees out, and lamp fixtures. It'd take planning, fs
I'm more terrified about being caught, though I'm unsure how I react to certain drugs. Who's to say I just forget myself, but I'm 100% afraid of ordering from the dark web and getting caught. I'm... not tech savvy. I also live on a college campus. I just feel like they check our packages, at least partially.
And, yeah. I can understand how you feel. It just seems to risky to get drugs if you've never done it before... I feel you, and can see why you'd be so reserved. It sucks, man. I'm sorry to hear it :// Maybe you will luck out and find a trustworthy irl source
your si will ultimately save you no matter how hard you try and starve yourself, ive tried, for about half a year before i realized this. instead take advantage of your low bmi and do a method that involves alcohol since the ratio will be more effective on you
Alcohol? That's true, I didn't think about how my low weight would impact that. It's pretty damn easy to get, too. I could probably even get it free, handed around like candy around campus. Thank you
imo starving is a very unreliable, drawn out method that rarely works. if you start passing out from having not eaten enough you'll end up hooked to an IV in hospital and loose progress that you've made. hope ure able to find something else that suits you
It is, but there are ways to really prolong how far you can take your body. You don't have to blackout, though the brain fog is unavoidable. You really can't think, can't function. I probably had to sleep 11 hours a day. If that's something someone's interested in, it's very possible if you know what bare necessities you need. It kinda reminds me of that girl on TikTok with the 30-something pills. Sometimes, you can get away with taking the necessities away, and sometimes you have to find other ways to push your body into that danger zone. But damn, can it take a long time, especially at lower weights. You've got to be real careful it doesn't take away your ability to function because people start sticking their noses in.
But tbh, you're right. It's so unreliable. It is so hard to hide. I need to find a much better method. Someone mentioned alcohol with my low BMI and I think that's a great idea. Makes me feel like everything I've done to get here wasn't a waste, per se
