My CTB thoughts have become increasingly more impulsive recently, and I am finding even when things are offered in a helpful way I'm not able to really recognize it. I can intellectualize that people are trying to help me, but I can't emotionally process it. I think about how much I want to dying Way more than I should throughout the day, and my long-term goal is at least waiting till the kids are significantly older before I go.
i've become increasingly anxious about the fact that I can't act on my suicidal feelings, so thoughts about cutting have started entering my mind recently. I have not acted on those feelings because I have little children around, and I can't let them see self harm marks. Also due to depression I've been having trouble eating and I went down from 130 to 110 in two months.
I picked up a couple bags of marijuana candies that will be able to deliver small amounts if need be. Therapy and antidepressants have done nothing for me, and I need some things to help soften my feelings and motivate me to eat. I'm starting to have anemia, low blood pressure, and several symptoms that go with those such as exhaustion.
in the past I have had a super high tolerance for marijuana, and ironically zero tolerance for alcohol even the slightest amount gets me completely wasted. I don't intend to dose high enough to impair my abilities as a parent and what not, but I need some thing to get me through the days so I don't want to kill myself the second I'm alone.
i'm not going to lie Everything sucks I wish I could just ctb
i've become increasingly anxious about the fact that I can't act on my suicidal feelings, so thoughts about cutting have started entering my mind recently. I have not acted on those feelings because I have little children around, and I can't let them see self harm marks. Also due to depression I've been having trouble eating and I went down from 130 to 110 in two months.
I picked up a couple bags of marijuana candies that will be able to deliver small amounts if need be. Therapy and antidepressants have done nothing for me, and I need some things to help soften my feelings and motivate me to eat. I'm starting to have anemia, low blood pressure, and several symptoms that go with those such as exhaustion.
in the past I have had a super high tolerance for marijuana, and ironically zero tolerance for alcohol even the slightest amount gets me completely wasted. I don't intend to dose high enough to impair my abilities as a parent and what not, but I need some thing to get me through the days so I don't want to kill myself the second I'm alone.
i'm not going to lie Everything sucks I wish I could just ctb
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