Started college and can’t make friends

[Jack4230]

I just started college and I can't find anyone to talk to. At least back home I had some friends and people who somewhat cared about me, but here people are so cold. Maybe it's just me, I don't blame them for not wanting to be around me, but my mental state is deteriorating. I've sat in my dorm for the last couple days staring at a screen and only go out to eat, and when I do I try and talk to people but it never lasts for more than 10-15 mins before they make a bullshit excuse and leave. What am I supposed to do? These are supposed to be the "best years of my life" but it's worse than high school and I didn't think that was possible.

 

[rt1989526]

There's got to be some social clubs or groups that you can join to network and socialize at. Look around online within your schools network. Don't give up, there's others like you on campus looking for the same connection I guarantee it!!

 

[Grav]

I'm not sure if you're in the US but, I think, most colleges have a person on staff to talk to and then there are groups that you can try out. I started college at 28 and after the service so what I saw of college life is different than the usual student. My daughter's school had a bunch of groups and she's pretty introverted. She's managed pretty well but we had concerns about anxiety and being alone. I don't want to sound like a "everything is going to be grand" guy but from what I've seen at schools there's usually someone for everyone to hang out with, just a matter of finding them. Are you in dorms? Do you have a roommate and share any common interests?

 

[glittergore]

There's got to be some social clubs or groups that you can join to network and socialize at. Look around online within your schools network. Don't give up, there's others like you on campus looking for the same connection I guarantee it!!

I second this. Also, some of the strongest connections I made before I graduated were actually in major-specific classes. It sounds like you're in freshman year so you're probably limited to the introduction ones, but you might be able to find people this way later on.

 

[Jack4230]

I second this. Also, some of the strongest connections I made before I graduated were actually in major-specific classes. It sounds like you're in freshman year so you're probably limited to the introduction ones, but you might be able to find people this way later on.

There's got to be some social clubs or groups that you can join to network and socialize at. Look around online within your schools network. Don't give up, there's others like you on campus looking for the same connection I guarantee it!!

Ya you guys are probably right, I'm just freaking out that this might somehow be worse than high school. Unfortunately though, a lot of social and club stuff aren't available because of covid.

 

[psychoticxerror]

Ya you guys are probably right, I'm just freaking out that this might somehow be worse than high school. Unfortunately though, a lot of social and club stuff aren't available because of covid.

I went to a mostly commuter college, and had a similar experience. Your feelings are perfectly normal, and I assure you that you aren't the only one at your school that feels this way. I had trouble finding friends until I sparked up conversations with people within my major. I feel like they're usually more receptive to friendship since you have to see them regularly. A lot of students honestly just want to go to class, and then leave. Don't think you're doing anything wrong. You sound like you'd make a great friend.

I wonder if any of the clubs have a Facebook page. Maybe you could even try the Meet Up app.

 

[Jack4230]

I went to a mostly commuter college, and had a similar experience. Your feelings are perfectly normal, and I assure you that you aren't the only one at your school that feels this way. I had trouble finding friends until I sparked up conversations with people within my major. I feel like they're usually more receptive to friendship since you have to see them regularly. A lot of students honestly just want to go to class, and then leave. Don't think you're doing anything wrong. You sound like you'd make a great friend.

I wonder if any of the clubs have a Facebook page. Maybe you could even try the Meet Up app.

Thanks :) it's hard cuz everyone around me have already formed cliques and I feel so much more lonely than I normally do. Hopefully it'll get better. I just had an old friend text me and that helped me a lot. Anyway I appreciate the reply.

 

[AmDead]

That's what scares me about college... people around me keep saying those are the best years, blah blah blah but I'm a real introvert and have a hard time making good friends as it is.

 

[Ghost2211]

The same thing happened with me in school. I was the quiet one in the class and never made a single friend. It's unfortunate how hard Covid has made socializing as well. Are in person friendships critical for you? Can internet friends fill your social needs?

 

[mem12]

I just started college and I can't find anyone to talk to. At least back home I had some friends and people who somewhat cared about me, but here people are so cold. Maybe it's just me, I don't blame them for not wanting to be around me, but my mental state is deteriorating. I've sat in my dorm for the last couple days staring at a screen and only go out to eat, and when I do I try and talk to people but it never lasts for more than 10-15 mins before they make a bullshit excuse and leave. What am I supposed to do? These are supposed to be the "best years of my life" but it's worse than high school and I didn't think that was possible.

Look for social clubs inside the college. And if that does not work out look for something outside college. Don't give up if you find one and you don't like it. But try number of them and you should eventually click with one.