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darkenmydoorstep

darkenmydoorstep

Not Waving But Browned Off….
Sep 27, 2023
576
Part of why i want to die is that if I try and escape my current unhappy situation, my memories and conscience will follow me. And I hate that they would. This is why death is the only solution.
But if I could take a pill and forget everything and everyone, just start afresh, I probably would. I could live peacefully and although I may not be 'happy' could live without the torment of the mistakes I've made.
How about you?
 
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pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
2,862
Peaceful pill for me my suicide asap for me no matter what. i would never want to live / exist / be conscious under any circumstances.

i would never want any part of this evil world , evil life nor evil universe

Below just a few reasons and opinions of mine out a 1000 page book I could write if I were a writer

The inherent nature of the universe is entropic. Everything and every system decays breaks down and problems emerge with it

every system or machine requires constant energy and directed work to keep it from going into disorder and to equilibrium

the brain requires an energy source constant eating of food.

A phone requires charging, a house heating, a house cleaning to keep it in order

On top of this evil DNa based life has set up dna machines in continuous war against each other other.. countless diseases microorganisms parasites bacteria are trying to overcome every animals immune system system

Evolution has created a brain that can suffer constant unbearable pain

The universe is entropy going expanding to nothingness

DNA based life tries to go against the direction of the universe as it goes to equilibrium. So life forces the animal to do massive work by torturing it until it walks miles in cold snow to hunt an animal to relieve the pain of hunger
 
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JesiBel

JesiBel

Harpy
Dec 5, 2024
35
No, losing my memory doesn't erase my problems or my existence, unfortunately...
 
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Roadrunner

Roadrunner

Experienced
Mar 18, 2024
222
Starting fresh would definitely be an improvement for me, but in the end I'd likely end up making the same mistakes again. My mental issues started in childhood, so I'd need to start fresh with a completely different childhood and raising. Pill for me (or in my case SN)!
 
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darkenmydoorstep

darkenmydoorstep

Not Waving But Browned Off….
Sep 27, 2023
576
Yes part of me wonders that too. Whether we'd be inclined to do similar things. That said, a lot of my regrets are due to my reproductive choices and now aged 50 that at least would no longer be an issue.
 
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opheliaoveragain

opheliaoveragain

Eating Disordered Junkie
Jun 2, 2024
1,505
even if my mind forgot, the body keeps score and that can sometimes be worse. I just wanna die.
 
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harlow-paige

harlow-paige

part bot, part girl, full disaster
Jan 1, 2025
29
ugh yeah, i kinda do wish a memory wipe factory reset was possible, i spend so long thinking about the "what ifs" about early trauma and all the mistakes i've made along the way; wondering who or what i'd be if i got the chance to start entirely fresh.
 
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idelttoilfsadness21

idelttoilfsadness21

turning my back towards death
Jan 6, 2025
241
I had a dream of the peaceful parts of my life and I still felt fear and that it'd go badly. No amount of money or peace will ever change my mind. I rather be gone and take the peaceful pill.
even if my mind forgot, the body keeps score and that can sometimes be worse. I just wanna die.
Exactly! It's just a matter of realization 🥲
Peaceful pill for me my suicide asap for me no matter what. i would never want to live / exist / be conscious under any circumstances.

i would never want any part of this evil world , evil life nor evil universe
Someone gets it 🥹
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,677
I personally only wish to cease existing painlessly and that is all I could ever hope for no matter what, I'd never wish for the cruel, futile and torturous burden of existing as a human rather I only wish to be non-existent, I just want to never suffer ever again, I only wish to be permanently unconscious where this existence is no longer my problem and all is finally forgotten about, for me non-existence is peace, in fact it's what is the only peace to me. I'd always prefer to die than suffer so unnecessarily in this existence I always saw as a mistake just to be tortured by old age but really I wish I could erase my existence so it's like I never existed at all, I find it such a terrible tragedy how this existence was even imposed in the first place, I'll always find it deeply undesirable to exist, to me existence will always be an abomination that just causes harm and suffering, I'd never wish for any of this rather I just want all to be gone for me, I wish for no more pain, no more suffering, nothing would make me wish to be burdened with this existence.
 
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FindingVeritas

FindingVeritas

Member
Jan 1, 2025
21
Losing my memory unfortunately doesn't take away my mental illness, disability, or consequences to prior bad decisions. Peaceful pill is my only real option
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,619
I'd rather take the peaceful pill. Even if my memories were to be wiped, I'd merely come to the same conclusion about existence again
 
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P

painofzed

Student
Dec 15, 2021
117
Peaceful pill all the way
 
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ThatGuyOverThere

ThatGuyOverThere

David Benatar Enjoyer
Apr 25, 2024
153
If you started fresh how would you guarantee that your life wouldn't just return to a low quality as it is right now? assuming that you restart your life and it's still you, then surely you would end up repeating the same mistakes, or end up making new ones. Plus the many flaw with human exitance isn't just specific to any particular individual but rather is just inherent with human exitance, and so for that I would probably rather just not exist than start some sort of new most likely just as flawed life.
 
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C

Corvette90

Member
Jan 2, 2025
10
peaceful pill for me personally. I have a complex problem combining physical health and mental health.
 
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C

CogitoMori

Specialist
Oct 21, 2024
339
I think having some sort of amnesia where you forget the bad while still remembering, or at least having familiarity with the good would be nice
 
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