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SinisterKid

SinisterKid

Visionary
Jun 1, 2019
2,113
Same shit, different day, story of my friggin life these days it seems.

So after joining the site I find out all about SN. Great, thanks, just what I have been looking for. Read a lot about it, want, no need, to make sure I get it right this time. All seems simple enough apart from the antiemetics. But I can find ways around that with other medication I am already on and simple otc stuff to lessen the impact. So, just need to find someone to supply the SN. Yeah, easy as fuck was that part. Went through, all done, should arrive Thursday. Fine by me. Happy as the proverbial pig in shit. Get a e mail today asking for ID and papers/company numbers before they can dispatch items to me. WTF? It transpires, apparently, SN is now a controlled substance in the UK since 2014 and you need to provide all this info from reputable sellers. So yeah, fuck them, that aint gonna happen any time soon. Contacted another seller to see if they are going to ask for the same documentation. Waiting for a reply.

But hey, no rush. The back up plan is going to be much easier to implement but will take a few weeks. I was reading about people who have managed to OD on propranalol and I take plenty of that along with other shit. So save em up for a few weeks, add some other stuff and hey ho. But I did all that with Ami and it left me in ICU and very bad headaches for months afterwards. I can go that route, but it is very much plan B. SN seems the way to go for me. N would be better, but I dont have that kind of money, so its a non starter.

The other option is hanging as it has a good success rate if you get it right. Read a lot on that as well and if I can black out in 20 seconds or less, I think its a viable option. Have a few things to try out tomorrow to see if that can be plan C or not. If nothing else, I am good at improvising. Usually, if I really put my mind to it, I get results. Tired now of games, reading, watching movies et al. Tired of these four walls and family not wanting to listen when I try to tell them how bad it has got again over the last few months. They told me after last time to talk to them, but when I try, they just change the subject. I told my partner I think about dying every single day and the response was, "thats not good is it" and back to talking about work. C'est la vie.

So thats about it. Just another day in the life of...... SSDD. I have S.King to thank for that one. Was in a book I read a very very long time ago and it always stayed with me as it just seemed to sum up so many of my days. My very first job at 14 was working on a pig farm and that was very much about the same shit every day. It kept me in dope and smokes though, so shovelling shit is what I became good at. I did enjoy it though in a perverse way, unless I had to clean the boars out, they were mean bastards.

Toodle Pip
 
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