Spending one last holiday with family vs. COVID?

[Shades of Grey]

I am in the process of reordering my method (that was taken from me as a condition of my being released from inpatient).

My family has been pressuring me to spend the holidays at home this year. I am concerned about the risk of potentially exposing them to COVID. (I tested PCR negative over the weekend, but do have some unavoidable exposure to others due to work.) I have also always been the one that "does" holidays, and this will very likely be my last. (If they knew what was coming, they would want me there. For obvious reasons, they can't.) Part of me feels that I should give them that one last time; part of me feels that I shouldn't risk it. My parents are older and not entirely low risk.

I don't know what to do here.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

I am in the process of reordering my method (that was taken from me as a condition of my being released from inpatient).

My family has been pressuring me to spend the holidays at home this year. I am concerned about the risk of potentially exposing them to COVID. (I tested PCR negative over the weekend, but do have some unavoidable exposure to others due to work.) I have also always been the one that "does" holidays, and this will very likely be my last. (If they knew what was coming, they would want me there. For obvious reasons, they can't.) Part of me feels that I should give them that one last time; part of me feels that I shouldn't risk it. My parents are older and not entirely low risk.

I don't know what to do here.

This is so complicated to answer ethically. In my view the most important people in this equation weren't even mentioned in the post: The people who could be infected along your way of potential travel. I dunno if you plan car/plane but the risk via plane is very high despite what the propaganda artists are saying at the airlines. You're going in a crowded high density setting + the airport, lots of touching, tsa groping/grabbing etc.

Now about your parents.. if you truly are going to CTB and they are wanting you to visit, it might not be such a bad thing if they were infected. If they really are super old and you see them one last time before CTB, they could be spared extreme grief if they pass from covid. TBH if you CTB and they are in their advanced age like 70s or 80s they may die of heartbreak. These kind of events really traumatize the elderly. But at the same time its unethical IMO to put people at risk.

 

[Sensei]

I know it's a very poor substitute, but can you perhaps Skype with them? Then they get to see your face and hear your voice one last time at least.

 

[Szs33]

Maybe recording a video and showing all your love for them could be a great alternative.

 

[Shades of Grey]

This is so complicated to answer ethically. In my view the most important people in this equation weren't even mentioned in the post: The people who could be infected along your way of potential travel. I dunno if you plan car/plane but the risk via plane is very high despite what the propaganda artists are saying at the airlines. You're going in a crowded high density setting + the airport, lots of touching, tsa groping/grabbing etc.

Now about your parents.. if you truly are going to CTB and they are wanting you to visit, it might not be such a bad thing if they were infected. If they really are super old and you see them one last time before CTB, they could be spared extreme grief if they pass from covid. TBH if you CTB and they are in their advanced age like 70s or 80s they may die of heartbreak. These kind of events really traumatize the elderly. But at the same time its unethical IMO to put people at risk.

It would be by car; I live an hour away, and they have minimal contact with others (apart from when my father and his friends meet up to watch football, which I could throttle him for- I know some of them are not careful).

They pressed again today, and my shrink literally threatened to section me if I stayed home. She is convinced I need non-workplace human contact (place is a veritable cesspit of dysfunction) and will CTB if I don't go. (I actually did mean it when I said that I would never do it over the holidays because I don't want the people I care about to have that association moving forward. I even put off reordering my method so it won't arrive in time to tempt me.)

I think that what I may do is make a brief appearance on Christmas (instead of staying the entire break as they want), stay masked (and make them do the same), and practice social distancing. I don't think prolonged contact is appropriate, even with a recent negative PCR.

Everything about this year sucks.