Venting Soul Crushing

[ClownMe]

The most soul crushing feeling would have to be when youre extremely depressed and suicidal and make a genuine attempt to change, but it fails and you end up even more depressed than you started.

Ive been trying different hobbies and putting myself outside my comfort zone in the last 2 months or so in an attempt to kick my suicidal thoughts, but nothing has worked and I just feel even more suicidal than when I began.

what is the point of this existence? Whenever you try to genuinely better yourself you end up getting kicked in the nuts.

 

[whywere]

You and me are almost twins as far as I have massive depression BPD and I also have had 2 attempts. For me, it is soul draining to work/fight like heck to try and do better, recovery aspect and fall down on my face with a huge thud and then more depressed yet, so I feel your pain, believe me. Now with that said, and I truly believe this because it has helped me ALOT, everyone here on SS, our global family, has helped me when the depression is going full speed and i do not know where to turn or what to do. Like wise, I truly hope and wish everyone here can help you achieve some time in your day, where you feel loved, cared about, have faith in the knowledge that all of us are here for you. I am 65, and I mention this only because I have had decades of ups and mostly downs, and after finding our global family here I know that I have a resource to help me when the going gets tough. I send YOU lots of love, hugs and pat on the back and SUPPORT as we are in this together, hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder. Walter

 

[blue_muse]

I hear you on this. You can only tolerate failure so many times, otherwise it's like trying to get back onto a horse each time you fall off. It just means you see life for what it is; through the depressive realist that only places like SS understand .

 

[fracturedviolence]

i feel the same way nothing feels worth it. the things that others find or i am supposed to find so enjoyable just isnt and i'm tired of being let down every time. all this work and effort just to feel worse.

 

[WornOutLife]

Yesss, that really hurts and it's happened to me a few times!

If it happens again, I will probably 100% give up on life because this time, I'm really doing my best. Many things in my life have changed for the better and some people are really proud of me! (even myself, sometimes)

However, this is the last shot. No more chances.

Let's see what happens but damn, it's certainly difficult to keep on going.

Goddamn and nonsense life!! lol

Hugs,

Matt

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, I know how you feel. It is awful when we have hope and then it is taken away. It is why I honestly don't really try anymore. It is the cruel nature of this life, very little is in our control including our own thoughts. For many people life is just a pointless struggle, we spend the majority of it just waiting to die.