I just want to give my sincerest apologies to all of you guys for that post a while back, and yes, I am alive and well.
I was very angry because I was scheduled to do a really hard job with my dad but I was given no forewarning, it was the near middle of the week and I needed to keep up with my schoolwork that my mom desperately wants me to complete all the time. She was yelling, screaming, and hitting my door over and over. I had a terrible lapse in judgment and I felt like I was finally going to run away or die, or both. It clicked with me that it was harder than I thought.
I set up a rug I use in my room to my closet after I kinda cleared the space. I then put a blanket against the wall and boxes in there to prevent any noise as best I could. I used a random blue hard rope we have, it's plastic-y but it's very strong, and I used that around my neck. Listening to music I just assumed different positions to be as comfortable as possible and I began to press, the first time I just went back after I realized I couldn't breathe, after talking to myself I went back and tried to keep my hands away from the rope, and kneel so I couldn't go back. I slowly heard my music fade away and my head got warmer, as I heard a loud tinnitus-like ringing in my ears I thought I would finally pass out, but I went back again and started coughing and crying a bit. I tried 2 more times and finally with a long sleeved shirt but it just didn't work out.
I originally planned to run away to the nearby woods and do it but my mom noticed the wind was drafting under my door and she told me to shut my window, or yelled actually.
I used to have asthma attacks and nearly died of an allergic reaction 2-3 times like this so this method is all too frightening for me, it's less of a peaceful one and more of a feeling of someone else strangling you to death, which in reality that's exactly what it is. Can you pass out in a few seconds? Sure, I almost did, it took about 8 seconds for me to feel drowsy. The SI really kicks in when you try to swallow or gasp for another breath but realize you don't have the ability to.
I cannot say for certain that I'm not sad anymore but I feel like this closes another chapter of my life.
My friends talked me back to normal and I went back to sleep, my throat feels fine now and I'm okay. Thank you guys. I don't know if I will ever try that again but I can say this ; to every person that has been hung or has hung themselves, you are very very brave.
I'll be returning to my regular posting and hope you guys receive my warm internet hugs, I love you all.
I was very angry because I was scheduled to do a really hard job with my dad but I was given no forewarning, it was the near middle of the week and I needed to keep up with my schoolwork that my mom desperately wants me to complete all the time. She was yelling, screaming, and hitting my door over and over. I had a terrible lapse in judgment and I felt like I was finally going to run away or die, or both. It clicked with me that it was harder than I thought.
I set up a rug I use in my room to my closet after I kinda cleared the space. I then put a blanket against the wall and boxes in there to prevent any noise as best I could. I used a random blue hard rope we have, it's plastic-y but it's very strong, and I used that around my neck. Listening to music I just assumed different positions to be as comfortable as possible and I began to press, the first time I just went back after I realized I couldn't breathe, after talking to myself I went back and tried to keep my hands away from the rope, and kneel so I couldn't go back. I slowly heard my music fade away and my head got warmer, as I heard a loud tinnitus-like ringing in my ears I thought I would finally pass out, but I went back again and started coughing and crying a bit. I tried 2 more times and finally with a long sleeved shirt but it just didn't work out.
I originally planned to run away to the nearby woods and do it but my mom noticed the wind was drafting under my door and she told me to shut my window, or yelled actually.
I used to have asthma attacks and nearly died of an allergic reaction 2-3 times like this so this method is all too frightening for me, it's less of a peaceful one and more of a feeling of someone else strangling you to death, which in reality that's exactly what it is. Can you pass out in a few seconds? Sure, I almost did, it took about 8 seconds for me to feel drowsy. The SI really kicks in when you try to swallow or gasp for another breath but realize you don't have the ability to.
I cannot say for certain that I'm not sad anymore but I feel like this closes another chapter of my life.
My friends talked me back to normal and I went back to sleep, my throat feels fine now and I'm okay. Thank you guys. I don't know if I will ever try that again but I can say this ; to every person that has been hung or has hung themselves, you are very very brave.
I'll be returning to my regular posting and hope you guys receive my warm internet hugs, I love you all.
