Sometimes I wonder

[CursedForDisaster]

Sometime I wonder if this is hell and if I will ever die. It often feels like everything I want is out of reach be it smarts, confidence, love, understanding and most of all in recent years the want to die.. it's all just some weird fantasy I have... Even if I were to have these things I wouldn't deserve them with the person I've become. I seem to I do nothing but devolve into what I've always despised, it's like the good part of me gave up, walked away and left a broken outline in it's place. Now the pain in this world seems to be the only thing that gets me off. I've completely given up on making anything good of myself and I would end it if only I could get partial to work or find the courage to jump in front of the train the passes my house but it all seems impossible, everything seems impossible. All I know is good people are supposed to leave this world better than they've found it and I've already erased over any good I've ever done or experienced and I'd be lying to myself and everyone else if I tried to be any better. All I can ever seem to do is scream and search inside this void of the internet for something to help me feel again but there's nothing here and I can't seem to find anything to live for out there...I'm a bit drunk so sorry if this is incohesive, I just needed to rant...and if this does happen to be hell I'm sorry for us all.

 

[Miss_Takes]

I enjoy a good rant .... shows a bit of passion.
And passion is a good thing.

 

[kitch]

"This is a hell realm" a quote from a tangental Hindu dude I admire a great deal .

Can't see it being far from the truth .

I guess we can alleviate a bit of suffering ...

 

[ARW3N]

The truth is that everything seems to be frustratingly out of our reach including death itself.