Method Something that can be done on an impulse

[dreamsofdestruction]

When I started researching, I was thinking of something like inert gas asphyxiation as my method of choice because it seems to be peaceful, painless and sufficiently reliable. But I've come to fear that my survival instinct might just be strong enough that I'll abort any of these attempts in the end. They might just be too slow.

Same with things like Nembutal or the like, even if I had it. I might call for help in the end. (Sure, I might drive to a remote location without a cellphone and so on and so forth, but that might just take too long.)

What's a method that you can do on an impulse and that definitely can't be reversed? It doesn't necessarily have to be peaceful or pretty, although obviously I'd prefer not to die an agonizing, drawn out death.

Firearms and jumping come to mind immediately.

Guns are a bit difficult to acquire here in Germany. You can do it for sporting or hunting purposes, but both require a long period of preparation and a lot of hoops to jump through and I don't think I'll be able to do that, honestly.

Jumping might be more interesting. There are no bridges high enough where I live and I don't know of any buildings that I can get into, but I'm going to take a short vacation in a few weeks and there might be a candidate bridge there, even though its height is not optimal. But the vacation itself might bring me so down that I might just be ready to do it. (Sounds counterintuitive, but trust me on this.)

Does anyone have other suggestions?

Again, the idea is: something that can be done on an impulse without too much preparation, it's not reversible once started and it acts fast. Doesn't have to be peaceful or pretty, but should ideally not result in an agonizing drawn out death.

 

[Dreamcolleger]

It doesn't answer your question but what about writing down your thoughts when you're in the impulsive kind of mood, so you can grab them when you want to go and rile yourself up with them? I forget a lot of my thoughts even though some of them would be very useful for this, but when the time comes I'm going to read through it all if I need, to try and put myself back into the same situation.

 

[dreamsofdestruction]

It doesn't answer your question but what about writing down your thoughts when you're in the impulsive kind of mood, so you can grab them when you want to go and rile yourself up with them? I forget a lot of my thoughts even though some of them would be very useful for this, but when the time comes I'm going to read through it all if I need, to try and put myself back into the same situation.

I actually have a good idea of what to visualize and think of when I want to do it, but still, I think that will make me pull a trigger or jump off a bridge, but it's probably not enough to not tear of a bag or mask.

 

[thrwaway99]

If your background check is clear then why not just still obtain the gun even if it's a bit of work? But if that's out of question then SN is pretty easy to obtain and irreversible without methylene blue. Or can you look into Beachy Head?

 

[dreamsofdestruction]

If your background check is clear then why not just still obtain the gun even if it's a bit of work?

It's too much work (requires a lot of socializing), trust me, I'm barely keeping my life together as it is.

But if that's out of question then SN is pretty easy to obtain and irreversible without methylene blue. Or can you look into Beachy Head?

Well the SN takes too long and it's reversible. And I already listed jumping as a possibility. Just wondering what else there is.

 

[Jumper]

The best option is one that has been well planned, but can be accessed 24/7 during impulsive moments. Like you, I also sought an "irreversible" method... one that cannot be aborted after the initial SI is overcome. I also wanted a method with high lethality. So it was down to jumping and gun.

A gun is out because I live in NYC... too hard to obtain. So I chose jumping. According to LostAllHope, for 95%+ success you need 150 feet onto land (close to 15 floors) or 250 feet into water. So I booked a hotel room on the 24th floor with a balcony. The time wait for the hotel was long, and I was feeling reluctant on that day. I sat on the edge drunk but could not do it. I then decided to compromise on the height for easier access, and selected my 13th floor rooftop. But there was still planning involved... I had to coordinate extensively with parked cars/garbage collection. Again, this did not lend itself to impulsivity. It was also very scary leaning over the edge. SI is VERY strong. Finally, I tried the GW bridge. I have a car, and there is no suicide barrier on the lower level. It's a 20 minute drive, so the impulsive factor is still an issue. The intense feeling I'm talking about (one for guaranteed success) may only last seconds. A passing motorist came up to me, and I had to abort. So the issue with the bridge was both travel time and pressure to jump quickly before being stopped. I gave up on jumping due to the impulsivity factor and SI/fear of heights. I'm not sure that jumping would fit your needs, due to the circumstantial nature of your jump site. SI is also really high with this method. But still worth a shot on your vacation.

I briefly considered SN. I secured all of the supplies and rented a cabin. I was going to lock my phone in the car. I ended up cancelling that plan, because I don't trust that SN is reliable, and I don't trust myself with the phone. Plus that feeling needed for success is fleeting. Too long to wait for the cabin... like the hotel again.

Finally... I have settled on partial, because I have 24/7 QUICK access in my own home. Perfect for those brief moments of intensity, and also private. If you render yourself unconscious, there is also no going back (although not as ideal as jumping/gun). Initially, it was not an option, because my door handles are flimsy, as are the shower/wardrobe rods. But I am now installing a pull up bar into the wall. I think partial suspension is closest to what you're looking for, if you can do it at home.

Let us know what you decide on...

 

[dreamsofdestruction]

You're right about traveling to a bridge, of course. Maybe that will be a factor. I'm just imagining damn, if I was up there right now it would be so quick...

I briefly considered SN. I secured all of the supplies and rented a cabin. I was going to lock my phone in the car. I ended up cancelling that plan, because I don't trust that SN is reliable, and I don't trust myself with the phone. Plus that feeling needed for success is fleeting. Too long to wait for the cabin... like the hotel again.

Isn't SN the worst because you'll have to start taking accompanying medication hours before?

Finally... I have settled on partial, because I have 24/7 QUICK access in my own home. Perfect for those brief moments of intensity, and also private. If you render yourself unconscious, there is also no going back (although not as ideal as jumping/gun). Initially, it was not an option, because my door handles are flimsy, as are the shower/wardrobe rods. But I am now installing a pull up bar into the wall. I think partial suspension is closest to what you're looking for, if you can do it at home.

Have to admit I haven't given hanging a lot of thought because especially the partial stuff sounded like it could be easily aborted, but I'll do more research on that.

 

[Roger]

A gun is out because I live in NYC... too hard to obtain.

Simply out of curiosity . . . . . . is it not possible to travel, and buy a gun in a state where it is easier ?

That's what the Garlic Festival shooter did, I believe - bought his AK clone in Nevada in order to circumvent California's tough (by US standards) gun laws.

 

[thrwaway99]

Just wondering what else there is.

Since you live in Germany you can easily buy guns from the darknet (if you know how) and also lethal drugs.

 

[Taki]

If the bridge height isn't optimal don't do it.

 

[dreamsofdestruction]

If the bridge height isn't optimal don't do it.

Well I mean maybe it's not too bad... about 50 m (164 feet). I'll have to read the chapter in Suicide and Attempted Suicide when I get home from work.

 

[AmberRed]

I'm with you on this. I want something I can do on impulse. Jumping is the method that resonates with me the most, but what scares me is I feel like when the moment hits me to ctb I'll end up driving my car into a tree or something as that's the easiest method accessible to me. Crashing at speed doesn't seem to scare me.. and I know that's stupid as I may not die and could end up badly injured. Taking a load of coke is another possibility. But maybe all of these things are because I'm a self harmer and these are ways to cause damage to myself while hoping inside that they will put me out of my misery once and for all.

 

[Tazmaniac]

When I started researching, I was thinking of something like inert gas asphyxiation as my method of choice because it seems to be peaceful, painless and sufficiently reliable. But I've come to fear that my survival instinct might just be strong enough that I'll abort any of these attempts in the end. They might just be too slow.

Same with things like Nembutal or the like, even if I had it. I might call for help in the end. (Sure, I might drive to a remote location without a cellphone and so on and so forth, but that might just take too long.)

What's a method that you can do on an impulse and that definitely can't be reversed? It doesn't necessarily have to be peaceful or pretty, although obviously I'd prefer not to die an agonizing, drawn out death.

Firearms and jumping come to mind immediately.

Guns are a bit difficult to acquire here in Germany. You can do it for sporting or hunting purposes, but both require a long period of preparation and a lot of hoops to jump through and I don't think I'll be able to do that, honestly.

Jumping might be more interesting. There are no bridges high enough where I live and I don't know of any buildings that I can get into, but I'm going to take a short vacation in a few weeks and there might be a candidate bridge there, even though its height is not optimal. But the vacation itself might bring me so down that I might just be ready to do it. (Sounds counterintuitive, but trust me on this.)

Does anyone have other suggestions?

Again, the idea is: something that can be done on an impulse without too much preparation, it's not reversible once started and it acts fast. Doesn't have to be peaceful or pretty, but should ideally not result in an agonizing drawn out death.

I AM IN NO WAY ENCOURAGING THIS:
I have been binge watching tv today, documentary on suicide in prison..twist your neck to the left or right, till you see that vein pop out, inmate say a sharp knife right across. They said that the guys they saw do it died in seconds.
Definitely quick and no time for SI

 

[Deivis]

Jumping might be more interesting. There are no bridges high enough where I live and I don't know of any buildings that I can get into

Can you go to the Austrian border? There's a mountain called "Zugspitze" or something.. I googled a bit. Tons of high mountains and peaks. You can check on Google Earth in 3D view.

 

[Jumper]

Simply out of curiosity . . . . . . is it not possible to travel, and buy a gun in a state where it is easier ?

That's what the Garlic Festival shooter did, I believe - bought his AK clone in Nevada in order to circumvent California's tough (by US standards) gun laws.

You have to be a resident of that state to buy a gun there. So you would have to show a state-issued ID. Not sure how the Garlic Festival guy pulled it off. But I was thinking of signing a lease for a really cheap place in Pennsylvania, then obtaining a PA driver's license on the basis of that, and then getting the gun.

 

[dreamsofdestruction]

Can you go to the Austrian border? There's a mountain called "Zugspitze" or something.. I googled a bit. Tons of high mountains and peaks. You can check on Google Earth in 3D view.

Climbing a mountain isn't really something you can do on an impulse though.