Venting Something just reinforced my ctb thoughts.

[lobster salad]

Im sorry to everyone who sees this lazy post. She just said she never liked me anyways and it hurts so bad but all my tears have dried. We half knew it all along but I just didn't want to think about it, until it was brought up today. My ctb thoughts have just been heavily reinforced.... I'm sorry I just don't have anyone at all. I have been such an asshole anyways so I guess it was what I deserved. Soon I'm going to have to go back to study again but I've zero interest at this point. I have 1 month left to clear up but it's not enough time I'm so trapped I can't think and type straight. I'm not diagnosed with anything. It's just straight suicidal thoughts for months. I'm so tired of this agony and it doesn't help when sn is banned in my country leaving me with the only option to jump. I doubt anyone truly cares about me. Everybody is just so pretentious I'm just done.

 

[whywere]

1st and foremost, I CARE ABOUT YOU ALOT!! I am being 100% honest with you, as you are part of our global family here and when you hurt, are lonely or whatever, so am I. I am 100% the same as you as far as I am 64 years young, almost 65! (in a few days!) and I have ZERO family and ZERO friends, except my family here. I have been a "asshole" inb my past also, but I learned from it and became stronger from it. I am NOT EVER being pretentious with you or anyone ever. I say what I mean, and mean what I say. Please feel free to pm me if you ever want to talk. All my love, caring and SUPPORT goes out to you @lobster salad. Walter (I am not pretentious in my response to your post, as Walter is my real first name nothing ever phoney)

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

She just said she never liked me anyways and it hurts so bad but all my tears have dried. We half knew it all along but I just didn't want to think about it,

Lol same, it'll go away pretty quickly. Don't act from a place of weakness, calm down and recover first.

 

[lobster salad]

Lol same, it'll go away pretty quickly. Don't act from a place of weakness, calm down and recover first.

I am not calming down for some reason, my heart is beating so fucking fast that I can't do anything. Should I mention she was my only friend I could really talk to. I'm just freaking the fuck out. Tonight might have to be it.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

I am not calming down for some reason, my heart is beating so fucking fast that I can't do anything. Should I mention she was my only friend I could really talk to. I'm just freaking the fuck out. Tonight might have to be it.

Never been in that position, so idk. I'm going with an extreme workout followed by meditation as some last-ditch effort at advice.