Someone To Cuddle With

[KafkaF]

I know this is a huge reach but I honestly don't know what to do anymore so I'm just going for it: Anyone know where I could find a woman about my age to just cuddle and watch Netflix with?

My girlfriend broke up with me two months ago. I'm really depressed. And I could really use a girl to just hold in my arms and relax with.

I'm already on dating apps and I made a post on r/cuddlebuddies on Reddit. Anyone have any alternative ideas?

Edit: To be clear, not necessarily looking for sex or a real relationship here (though I would be alright with either or both). Just someone to cuddle with, talk to and watch some TV show with. My preference goes for like "The Vampire Diaries" or "Game of Thrones" or something. But I'm open to watching almost anything.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

You may not want to hear this, but I think many escorts would allow this in exchange for currency, you just have to find one that allows cuddling & watching movies and if you are upfront about what you want you'll get your answer, plus you'll probably get a little more than you bargained for or maybe it's exactly what you want. Contrary to popular opinion they are not just all about sex, because as old as the profession is there have been people in your situation. Otherwise I don't know, but if you have any success elsewhere let me know, cuddling & company without attachments for free seems to be a bit of a unicorn depending on how lucky you are with your location and circumstances.

I assume you're asking for something without attachments, because is there some reason you are not in a position where you could just enter a new relationship instead? Then you would have a more stable and longer term source of company. Even if you are just dating somebody casually that can lead to cuddles & movies.

There is also the option of watching stuff online with somebody, or a group of people? That would be easier to find than irl cuddling imo.

 

[KafkaF]

You may not want to hear this, but I think many escorts would allow this in exchange for currency, you just have to find one that allows cuddling & watching movies and if you are upfront about what you want you'll get your answer. Otherwise I don't know, but if you have any success elsewhere let me know.

I assume you're asking for something without attachments, because is there some reason you are not in a position where you could just enter a new relationship instead? Then you would have a more stable and longer term source of company.

I've thought about hiring an escort for that reason. But I'm not exactly swimming in cash atm. I really can't afford to risk spending money on stuff like this.

I would love to find a new relationship. Unfortunately, that takes two people. And I don't know anyone who wants to start a relationship with me. I'm talking to one girl right now I met on a dating site. But who knows if that's going to turn into anything. We've only been talking for a week or so and haven't even had a first date yet. And even if it does turn into something eventually, how long is that gonna take? Could be months. With my last girlfriend we met at the end of July 2022 and only had our first kiss in December of 2022.

So, would I love to start a new relationship? Yeah. But that would require finding a new girl who actually wants to be in a relationship with me. And that hasn't happened so far. So if I can just find someone who wants to cuddle with me with no committment or attachment, I'd take it. Or if a woman just wants cuddles and sex, that's not really the kind of thing I usually go in for (I've only ever had sex within a committed relationship) but honestly I'd probably go for it at this point.

Just any kind of affection by any means from almost any woman to help me deal with this goddamn pit of complete despair for a few hours would be nice.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

It sounds like you have to be a little patient, since you are already talking to a girl why don't you focus on that? Most of us here have been alone or lonely at some point or other and wishing for the same thing as you, and we've all endured it up to this point, sometimes for years or much longer without contact.

You say nobody wants to be in a relationship with you but that's at odds with the fact you're talking to someone, it doesn't sound as if you're giving that relationship a chance to blossom. You've been talking to her for a week, and you've only just broke up with your previous girlfriend a couple of weeks ago, that is not long at all. Slow down.

Imagine that the girl you're talking to is in the exact same position as you. Romance her and make her want to be in a relationship and feel safe with you. That is my best advice if you want someone to cuddle and spend company with.

 

[KafkaF]

It sounds like you have to be a little patient, since you are already talking to a girl why don't you focus on that? Most of us here have been alone or lonely at some point or other and wishing for the same thing as you, and we've all endured it up to this point, sometimes for years without contact.

You've been talking to her for a week, and you've only just broke up with your previous girlfriend, that is not long at all. Slow down.

That would not be a good idea t all. I've had these things fall through before. You can be talking to someone for a long time and have them suddenly drop you. Or you can go on a first date and then never talk to them again. Pursuing as many possible lanes as possible is the better strategy. And just because I'd find someone to hug with platonically doesn't mean I couldn't pursue this girl for an actual relationship and end the hugging-with-benefits if that happened.

And I want it as soon as possible because every day is absolute and complete misery and pain. It takes every ounce of effort to not just end my life every single day. I need something to take the pain away for a bit and that's the only potential relief I can think of.

It's like when you burn your hand. As soon as that burn happens all you can think of is getting the burn under some cold water as soon as possible. Doesn't matter what it takes or how or what. Just get it under cold water as soon as possible. That's how I feel about my emotional pain and cuddling right now.

 

[Kalista]

There are a few websites specifically for cuddling. There are women who would only cuddle and talk to you, but the cost is pretty much the equivalent of hiring an escort at times. Also, your location may or may not have any of these cuddlers.

So, good luck with it.

I got lucky in finding a friend who was fine with cuddling with me over the weekend, but then she called the cops on me when I left a suicide note via voicemail. Stopped speaking to her. Cuddling would have been nice.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Then pursue many girls, but don't be surprised if that doesn't exactly thrill all of them. If you spread yourself too thin, you won't care about any individual person and it will show because you won't be able to give your 100%, and the best relationship you could've had will collapse. You need to strike a healthy balance.

You're not listening but I can tell you this entire approach is not an attractive attitude for many girls. It's going to cause a lot of unnecessary misery. But we are at odds here because we have two completely different mindsets so I'll leave you to pursue whatever strategy you feel is most effective. I've never had any problems finding relationships with my approach, personally. Maybe it doesn't work the same for everyone.

cost is pretty much the equivalent of hiring an escort at times.

Yeah, that is why I suggested that. Because the cost is equivalent, but professional cuddlers are much rare. I live in an area which is desolate of them though.

 

[KafkaF]

Then pursue many girls, but don't be surprised if that doesn't exactly thrill all of them. If you spread yourself too thin, you won't care about any individual person and it will show because you won't be able to give your 100%, and the best relationship you could've had will collapse. You need to strike a healthy balance.

You're not listening but I can tell you this entire approach is not an attractive attitude for many girls. It's going to cause a lot of unnecessary misery. But we are at odds here because we have two completely different mindsets so I'll leave you to pursue whatever strategy you feel is most effective. I've never had any problems finding relationships with my approach, personally. Maybe it doesn't work the same for everyone.

I mean, what can I say, this just isn't at all what my experience is. As far as I know this is pretty normal and standard when you're dating through dating sites.

I've always talked to many girls at once when I was on dating sites. Some went some place. Most never went anywhere. I'm sure this is true for the vast majority of women too and I would never take that personally. In fact, I once had a girl I was talking to me pause our conversation cuz she went on a date with someone else first (she'd asked me before but I wasn't ready to meet yet). I didn't mind that at all, it's normal. When you're on a dating site you're not in a monogamous relationship yet. That's the point. You're in the pre-dating phase. Just talking.

If on a dating site I really only put my energy into one girl at once and stopped searching it could take me decades to find anyone through there. I've talked to a hell of a lot of girls on dating sites and the vast majority of conversations never go anywhere. And I've never met a single girl on there who made any sort of issue of me talking to other girls at the same time. Nor should they.

Hell, if I stuck to this "one girl at a time" rule then I would've never met my previous girlfriend. Because I started talking to her when I was talking to three or four other women. Those other conversations never went anywhere, the conversation with my previous girlfriend did.

As soon as I actually go on a physical date with someone, I stop searching for anyone else and see how that goes first. But not before. And I would never expect any of the women I'm talking to to do any different. And in this case me and this girl have never been on a first date.

There are a few websites specifically for cuddling. There are women who would only cuddle and talk to you, but the cost is pretty much the equivalent of hiring an escort at times. Also, your location may or may not have any of these cuddlers.

So, good luck with it.

I got lucky in finding a friend who was fine with cuddling with me over the weekend, but then she called the cops on me when I left a suicide note via voicemail. Stopped speaking to her. Cuddling would have been nice.

Yeah, hiring someone doesn't seem like a real option for me. I don't have the money to afford that.

I wish I had a friend like that. I don't though. My social anxiety has left me fairly isolated.

 

[NumbItAll]

Good luck, I have been searching for this exact thing for years and it's very difficult to find even platonic cuddles. Paid services are a bad way to fill the void in my opinion because they are very expensive and not a real connection. The idea of having to pay for companionship that should be mutually enjoyable is humiliating to me. You could try a site like CuddleComfort, but it has the same gender dynamics as everywhere else so men seldom have success unless willing to pay (not sure about your gender so apologies if that's not relevant). It's a shame it's so difficult to experience basic human connection and affection, but alas, we live in hell.

 

[KafkaF]

Good luck, I have been searching for this exact thing for years and it's very difficult to find even platonic cuddles. Paid services are a bad way to fill the void in my opinion because they are very expensive and not a real connection. The idea of having to pay for companionship that should be mutually enjoyable is humiliating to me. You could try a site like CuddleComfort, but it has the same gender dynamics as everywhere else so men seldom have success unless willing to pay (not sure about your gender so apologies if that's not relevant). It's a shame it's so difficult to experience basic human connection and affection, but alas, we live in hell.

Yeah, it's insane how this extremely basic human need is so incredibly hard to meet for so many men, myself included (yes, I am a guy, just to clarify).