We are not allowed to help you go through with it. Encouragement of that sort is not permitted here. It is up to you, and whatever decision you make or whatever ends up happening, most will support you here. But that's the most that can be given in terms of "helping".
Reactions:
allym101, Meditation guide and BLUE1970
You're not a pussy, ctb is a huge decision, the biggest you will ever have to make in your life. You will know when the time is right and that time appears not to be now. I've ASD too btw.
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