Help Someone help me go through with my final act of Hanging (Partial).

[cyberlordsumit]

I have spent too much time procrastinating on this. I have done all final acts like clearing debt and all. But just passing the days going through forums and the problems keep adding up.

I have been Passively suicidal for like 12 years.. And did try to attempt once some 10 years ago.

I know I'm done with everything and I've lived enough, so no need to try to get me to stay, i am just done.

Please help me with some pointers to go through with this, anything. I want to be just up and done with it but me being the super Procrastinator it's getting too problematic to go through.

Thanks in advance.!
Some background, I'm 26. I have quit my job and all. As it is lockdown in here, living with parents at hometown. It's tricky. Probably i need to do this at night.

I am getting a 10/12 mm thick rope and have a good support to dangle the rope at my terrace, it's pretty much out of view being under a concrete room like structure so I'll have atleast 2 hours window at night to Go with this.

I just need some final push that I won't mess this up. I spend almost 20 hours a day sleeping through and I'm going weaker day by day, it's going to be a problem later on so better i do this quickly.

Please help, i just need be over with this.

 

[Ghost2211]

Is there a reason you can't do it by your own drive? Is there something giving you any reason to stay or put it off till later. When we are truly ready we are ready. If something is making you hesitate you may not be as ready as you want to be.

We are here if you need to talk. I'm here if you need a friend. You're not alone in the world. CTB can go very wrong if you're not truly ready, don't force yourself.

 

[cyberlordsumit]

Is there a reason you can't do it by your own drive? Is there something giving you any reason to stay or put it off till later. When we are truly ready we are ready. If something is making you hesitate you may not be as ready as you want to be.

We are here if you need to talk. I'm here if you need a friend. You're not alone in the world. CTB can go very wrong if you're not truly ready, don't force yourself.

I'm not hesitating, I have been like this all my life. I just procrastinate and put off doing things. I have done everything in my power to make things better for years, and i have come up with Philosophical reasons to be finally done with life as well. I have decided to go. No turning back.

But as you can see many have SI kick in, in similar way I have this procrastinating kicking in. where i just spend my days sleeping and dreaming of nothing. As I don't have anything else to do anyways. I have to find something that will give me this final push from my lazy procrastinating.. I can't love like this, it is wrong on me and for those around me. I can't keep doing this procrastinating, it'll just mess things up more.. I want to go ahead with this in coming 2 - 3 days.

this is just my final days.

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm not hesitating, I have been like this all my life. I just procrastinate and put off doing things. I have done everything in my power to make things better for years, and i have come up with Philosophical reasons to be finally done with life as well. I have decided to go. No turning back.

But as you can see many have SI kick in, in similar way I have this procrastinating kicking in. where i just spend my days sleeping and dreaming of nothing. As I don't have anything else to do anyways. I have to find something that will give me this final push from my lazy procrastinating.. I can't love like this, it is wrong on me and for those around me. I can't keep doing this procrastinating, it'll just mess things up more.. I want to go ahead with this in coming 2 - 3 days.

this is just my final days.

I can see you're suffering a lot. I wish there was more I could do aside from being here to listen. I would never want to give someone that final push though. If you are to CTB it should come from you and not others. I hope you're able to find the peace you desire.

 

[cyberlordsumit]

I can see you're suffering a lot. I wish there was more I could do aside from being here to listen. I would never want to give someone that final push though. If you are to CTB it should come from you and not others. I hope you're able to find the peace you desire.

I can understand, It's getting worse by the day if someone gets suspicious it'll be even worse.

Maybe I'll just go ahead, get the Rope, Pick a time and go ahead with it.
I was nervous about failing, I have to get it right.. I am following the hanging megathread. This will be my final deed.

My Philosophy tells me This existence is meaningless, whatever we do is pointless. And i have been just suffering for ages since i was little.. And I've been a nice person all my life, still everyone betrays me. I do not have the energy to even kill myself. I have been depressed but now I'm just numb. Apathy berates me. I want to be done with this ASAP. Or someone might put 2 & 2 together and put me in some asylum and I'll suffer more. I don't want that. I chose this, I'm done with life. And I want to CTB ASAP. Maybe this is venting as well.. But i do not know what else should i make sure of.. to go ahead with it. any pointers would be appreciated.. All replies are Appreciated, thanks alot for this place. It's very helpful.

 

[Ghost2211]

I can understand, It's getting worse by the day if someone gets suspicious it'll be even worse.

Maybe I'll just go ahead, get the Rope, Pick a time and go ahead with it.
I was nervous about failing, I have to get it right.. I am following the hanging megathread. This will be my final deed.

My Philosophy tells me This existence is meaningless, whatever we do is pointless. And i have been just suffering for ages since i was little.. And I've been a nice person all my life, still everyone betrays me. I do not have the energy to even kill myself. I have been depressed but now I'm just numb. Apathy berates me. I want to be done with this ASAP. Or someone might put 2 & 2 together and put me in some asylum and I'll suffer more. I don't want that. I chose this, I'm done with life. And I want to CTB ASAP. Maybe this is venting as well.. But i do not know what else should i make sure of.. to go ahead with it. any pointers would be appreciated.. All replies are Appreciated, thanks alot for this place. It's very helpful.

Granted I don't know how laws work where you are, but in most places you can't be put away just for being depressed. make sure to not specifically state your feelings or intentions of suicide and there isn't much people can do.

 

[Theregoesthatidea]

hey, I don't know If I'm a little late here but i'd like to add something, If you're ready to get It over with, thinking about it for long periods of time doesn't help. In the old days when death row inmates were hanged, The executioners at the time perfected executing people as fast as possible. it would take only minutes to walk them to the gallows, tie their arms, and drop them to their deaths. this was to alleviate panic or anxiety in those on death row.

I would recommend tying up your noose and testing it with your arm (not your head!) to see if it holds, then go to another room or keep it otherwise out of sight. do what you enjoy until you've more or less forgotten about it. when you're ready, go in and sit down into your noose as fast and as impulsively as you can.

I know that partial is a bit tricky because it requires you to not stand up for the 10-20 seconds it takes to lose consiousness. this will be the hardest. if I end up choosing this method, I plan on ingesting something very corrosive, like drain cleaner, bleach, or other strong acids/bases to burn my stomach and throat so bad I'll put up with hanging that way to get the pain to stop, but feel free to try something else if those aren't available. i strongly believe that if someone is subjected to extreme pain they can't immediately deal with and they have a way to quickly die, they'll do it. At least i will.

Don't take this as "everyone should impulsively attempt suicide", because I think suicide is something to be taken very seriously, however, I think in your case, I would rather attempt to get it over with fast than to never ever try while constantly thinking about it.