Someone from my school CTBed

[Tired_M]

I learned today that a student from my school, same year as me, CTBed last week. I was with other classmates and the shock was omnipresent.

I didn't know them personally, only saw them a few times. But when I learned the news, I instantly dissociated.

Everyone was obviously very shocked. "But they were so happy, so funny" "They were always smiling". I guess that's why I dissociated. This hits close to home. They had a supportive family, friends, a gf, smiled everyday... Yet they had depression and ended their life.

It's crazy how people seem to blind themselves when someone mentions they have depression even though they seem all happy. Because this student talked about his mental health. Apparently everyone knew. I don't blame anyone, but... I just wish people were more educated and understanding.

My friends looked at me (because they know I'm not in a good place either) and made me promise I won't do that. I just nodded. I was internally upset, it felt like they were guilt tripping me, somehow. I can't promise anything. No one can.

I've been thinking about this student since this morning. I hope they're in peace, wherever they are, and that they're not suffering anymore. And I hope their loved ones will cope. Same for all the wonderful people from this site who went to, I hope, a better place. I can't help but think about all of them and smile sadly, imagining them finally at peace.

 

[Defenestrator]

Don't let them guilt trip you, and I don't mean that in a "kill yourself" way but in a take care of your own mental wellbeing way. I don't think these people realise that guilt tripping a suicidal person is actually the worst thing you can do; it's counterintuitive.


People's deaths are like little social bombs that drop in their social pools. It's sad but it is what it is.

 

[TAW122]

That's a difficult news to bear, hearing someone you know IRL CTB. It isn't easy at all and I can relate (I had someone pass away IRL whom I knew and once lived together with). One thing of relief as you said is that they are at peace and no longer suffering.

People's deaths are like little social bombs that drop in their social pools. It's sad but it is what it is.

Good quote there and it makes sense. People don't like their 'social pools' to be disrupted and deaths really mess with their social pools, thus they put up their defenses towards it.

 

[purplemoon]

i'm assuming everyone on here is at least 18 years old, right?

 

[Broken Chimera]

Sorry about your classmate but having your friends guilt trip you is BS.

i'm assuming everyone on here is at least 18 years old, right?

Pretty sure some users lie about their age. But OP might be in college.

 

[2manyproblems]

I don't want people talk about me and think about me when I go. That is very uncomfortable. I prefer people not thinking about me like no one does when I am alive. If I didn't need to go it would be enough to keep me from ctb.

 

[jgm63]

i'm assuming everyone on here is at least 18 years old, right?

Answer here :

Spoiler: post-460156

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...rt-thinking-about-ctb.6293/page-3#post-460156