Venting Somehow when I am most suicidal I dont want to read the SN method directions

[leavingthesoultrap]

Like, I have the posts saved. But I just dont want to read it.
I just want to freestyle it. What the fuck is wrong with me?
My mind gets really distracted when I am highly suicidal and I cant focus

 

[PaunPaun]

It's the adrenaline rush that make it hard to focus on a specific thing that you had prepared , that's why alot of people don't really go with their plan when ctb
but yeah it suck lol

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

I calmed down a bit and wrote some notes to have them ready

 

[Abyssal]

I feel this. It's a bad idea but I want my death to be agonizing when I'm at my worst.