Venting Some thoughts

[Dark Spring]

Hi, I'm having a regular day, a little depressed and a little hopeful. Sometimes I think about writing down everything that comes into my head but I don't know how to put it in the right words. I'm not writing this in the hope that many people will read it or give me advice, I just want to get it off my chest and if anyone else wants to do so, I welcome it.

I feel that I am in a constant struggle of whether I want to recover and live or put an end to all this. Every day I wake up (if I can sleep at night, obviously) hoping that the day will come when I will know for sure what I want, whether I live or not.

At the time I am writing this I was trying to study for my exams, I put on some relaxing music and there I began to think, to think about how little time I have spent in SS and that I've already seen so many things. People telling their feelings, their desire for CTB, their desire to recover, some giving advice to others, people who left and now accompany us from another plane. I don't know, now everything makes me think about things differently.

I feel comfortable here, to be able to take things out from inside me and have other people on the other side of the world give me a hug or love makes me feel good.

Sorry, I have days where I get very corny.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I feel that I am in a constant struggle of whether I want to recover and live or put an end to all this. Every day I wake up (if I can sleep at night, obviously) hoping that the day will come when I will know for sure what I want, whether I live or not.

Oh I know that struggle all too well... Welcome to SS, no need to apologize for anything!

I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to express yourself here. Sometimes just being able to honestly talk about things can make a difference. I hope you find all the love, support, and knowledge you need on your path! Wherever that path may lead you

 

[sadgirl2002]

I know how that feels, not being able to decide whether to live or die. It's like being at the crossroads. You have to do what's right for you. If you still feel like you want to recover then you could stay longer to see how life goes, then if things get worse, you can take the road of CTB.

It's nice that you feel comfortable here, this community has helped all of us a lot. I hope you find the love, support and understanding you need on SS :)