Venting Society's mistreatment towards Highly Sensitive People.

[itsamadworld]

Okay. I know I'm posting a lot lately, but I just gotta get this one off my mind.

My mother told me that when i was a baby, I was the youngest, but easiest and most considerate of her litter of three. That all changed in my teen years, when I could no longer handle the stresses and demands of this modern world! My parents are both oldest children/perfectionists...They expected a lot of me, and didn't give a damn about my sensitive nature. Which I DID NOT CHOSE! I can recall my dad, struck me over the head in his dry-drunk saying, "You goddamned knuckle-head! You ain't gonna get through life being SENSITIVE! You're gonna get that ass whooped, that'll toughen you up!" That was just one of many rats that bit me for being a HSP.

Being HSP is a curse! I toughened up, learned to play society's game, costing me continuous inner-torment and pain and unsuccessful suicide attempts and I have angered people around me because somewhere I gave up! And throughout the years, my spirit has just been crushed, and I no-longer want to live in this freaking world! Because it's never gonna get better. Then I could end up in a nursing home, of where I work, and that is fearful for me! Why should I continue to work, slaving away, feeling constant fear and depression in a system which don't give a damn about me? They drove me to becoming a resentful, depressed, and bitter bitch who wants to CBT, Because this Modern, Overpopulated, PRO-LIFE world, doesn't give an F-about me! Because I am just another SLAVE! And it does not value or consider the needs of the 15-20 percent of individuals who fit in the HSP category. Some of us HSP's get crushed under their unrelenting demands!

If you're interested, I have attached a link. It's an easy read, of which i skimmed over. It's just to give you an idea how the mind of a HSP works, and the struggles within modern society.

13 Problems Only Highly Sensitive People Will Understand

What may be a minor irritation to some might make your palms sweat, upset your stomach, or quickly zap your energy.

highlysensitiverefuge.com

 

[Remember to forget]

I am HSP and it is a curse. I cry easily and always feel I have upset someone. I am in a job that requires me to be tough and it drains the life out of me. You get shit on by people because you want to make people happy and they take advantage. I over think things, get anxious, hate large groups because of the noise. I am good at hiding it these days, the only real sign (besides crying) is picking my fingers while I am out, to the point I can make them bleed, i don't realise I'm doing it until I get home.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I used to be one of those HSP as well (maybe in some way I still am, but I am not sure). Growing up, I always had very strong feelings of empathy and I became sad or angry at the first sign of someone being mistreated (including myself), even if I didn't know them very well. After being surrounded and taken advantage of by people who didn't give a shit about others for so long, I got to a point where I stopped caring and almost became one of them. Like you, my spirit was crushed and I thought that if I could become a sociopath, then life would be easy. I tried to become one for a while, but it never actually worked. If it had, I might have already CTB without caring about how it would affect the people around me.

My grandma is an HSP for sure and she is still alive now, so I can't exactly leave before she does since she would be devastated (she is pro-life unfortunately, so getting her to understand doesn't seem possible). If the situation was reversed and she made the decision to CTB, I would totally understand. Even if I was sad that she was gone, I would at least be glad that she wasn't living in our horrible world anymore.

I also want to mention that there is nothing wrong with posting a lot. I enjoy reading your posts, so keep doing it as much as you want!

 

[Mr2005]

My highly sensitive nature reads between the lines and I'm not sure what to make of your post

 

[itsamadworld]

I am HSP and it is a curse. I cry easily and always feel I have upset someone. I am in a job that requires me to be tough and it drains the life out of me. You get shit on by people because you want to make people happy and they take advantage. I over think things, get anxious, hate large groups because of the noise. I am good at hiding it these days, the only real sign (besides crying) is picking my fingers while I am out, to the point I can make them bleed, i don't realise I'm doing it until I get home.

At work, the interactions too often, just drains me. And for me, it's never stopped....I know that feeling....

 

[Remember to forget]

I got like that as well, cut most people off as I had no interest in helping or listening to people anymore. I don't know if I felt better then or now, probably then because I had completely closed up and didn't really feel depressed, I was just happy in my own world. I am a lot better than I used to be, I can be cold and quite direct and as I have aged I can shrug things off but it usually there in some way.

 

[itsamadworld]

My highly sensitive nature reads between the lines and I'm not sure what to make of your post

I'm not sure what to make of yours either! :)

 

[_Minsk]

i used to enjoy my hsp side, but since the pressure increased over the time it turned to a curse, not sure how i managed that in the past...

 

[itsamadworld]

My highly sensitive nature reads between the lines and I'm not sure what to make of your post

I think you are trying to provoke me, or maybe play devil's advocate for some reason, actually. You sound passive-aggressive. If that is the case, I think my post is pretty clear.. Other people seem to get it.

 

[MartyByrde]

Fucking perfectionist parents have no clue the emotional damage their own issues put on their children.

 

[Mr2005]

I think you are trying to provoke me, or maybe play devil's advocate for some reason, actually. You sound passive-aggressive. If that is the case, I think my post is pretty clear.. Other people seem to get it.

I'd like to do a couple of tests

 

[Oyoy]

I feel like this describes who raised me as well as mysElf. Thanks for helping me understand myself better. I find being so sensitive makes it really hard to focus. You sound like a really strong.person. I admire you.

 

[itsamadworld]

I'd like to do a couple of tests

Well, at least I know where I stand....lol

Well, at least I know where I stand....lol

I'm merely tolerating you and not lashing out so that I don't get banned. It's the mindlessness of a being societies slave...

 

[Mr2005]

I have an analytical brain and a shit vocabulary. I'm sensitive to feelings not how to spare them

 

[toomuchtimetodie]

From my experience people that are incredibly sensitive, it mostly goes unnoticed by people which is why it's so hard on us. If you're known to be sensitive people will treat you like your a kid.
I tried to hide it my whole life thinking it was something to be ashamed about. All through childhood I would blush if anyone spoke to me, even kindly. And if it was negative would have a panic attack. And you know what the teachers and doctors did about it 'FUCK ALL' "he'll grow out of it etc" leading my parents to give up and hope for the best. If you consider the doing nothing being hard on one I agree with you.

 

[itsamadworld]

I have an analytical brain and a shit vocabulary. I'm sensitive to feelings not how to spare them

You just keep right on telling yourself that! I tell myself a lot of things too!

 

[Mr2005]

You just keep right on telling yourself that! I tell myself a lot of things too!

Well that's precisely what I thought. Call it gut instinct, call it cynicism. If you're sensitive to others feelings you'll understand why I take everything with a pinch of salt. If you're not you'll say this counts as societys mistreatment towards you.

 

[itsamadworld]

Well that's precisely what I thought. Call it gut instinct, call it cynicism. If you're sensitive to others feelings you'll understand why I take everything with a pinch of salt. If you're not you'll say this counts as societys mistreatment towards you.

I don't really care. As long as I ain't married to you! There are things worse than death! :D

I don't really care. As long as I ain't married to you! There are things worse than death! :D

Okay. that was kinda mean... my bad...Some of those inside thoughts , come out....and the rest is history....can't unsay it, can't unread it.....I know....life sucks...

 

[Mr2005]

I don't really care. As long as I ain't married to you! There are things worse than death! :D

You could have taken that opportunity to prove me wrong. You did the opposite. I genuinely wanted to believe in you

 

[itsamadworld]

I don't really care. As long as I ain't married to you! There are things worse than death! :D

Okay. that was kinda mean... my bad...Some of those inside thoughts , come out....and the rest is history....can't unsay it, can't unread it.....I know....life sucks...

If only I could go back to when i was born, and stop the whole operation, all this suffering and self-and -now-world disappointment wouldn't be my cross to bear.....but you can't unspill milk...i know

 

[Deathcabforugly]

Look everyone here is hurting. Lets not hurt each other and give anyone else an even greater reason to hurt themselves

 

[itsamadworld]

You could have taken that opportunity to prove me wrong. You did the opposite. I genuinely wanted to believe in you

Who says want you to believe in me/ All it gives me is more responsibility. And you'll never be satisfied anyways....

 

[Deathcabforugly]

I hear that HSP's are usually gifted creatively

 

[Mr2005]

Look everyone here is hurting. Lets not hurt each other and give anyone else an even greater reason to hurt themselves

It's never deliberate just inevitable

 

[itsamadworld]

It's never deliberate just inevitable

I really believe it's human nature not to be satisfied. I said it that way and someone gets hurt....That is my world view....and I hate it....but the world hated me first! and I just am tired of existing...

 

[Deathcabforugly]

Me too, I have no friends and I don't think anyone gets me

 

[itsamadworld]

It's never deliberate just inevitable

Gotta repeat it cuz i'm high and i post it in the wrong place, so i may as well add on....I really believe it's human nature not to be satisfied. I said it that way a while, and someone got hurt/ offended...That is my world view...That is how my mind interpreted my expirience......and I hate it....but the world hated me first! and I just am tired of existing...

Gotta repeat it cuz i'm high and i post it in the wrong place, so i may as well add on....I really believe it's human nature not to be satisfied. I said it that way a while, and someone got hurt/ offended...That is my world view...That is how my mind interpreted my expirience......and I hate it....but the world hated me first! and I just am tired of existing...

I don't know self, it still didn't attach to the right message....too hell with it...it's never good enough anyways, so why do you even care? K-word

 

[muffin222]

I understand. I'm a HSP, and it's painful for me to navigate this harsh world we live in. I feel too sensitive for this world sometimes

 

[Weightoftheworld]

I hear that HSP's are usually gifted creatively

They are! My daughter is a HSP and she tested as gifted in school because of her creative mind.

 

[Pryras]

what's going on with the replies here, I'm confused myself.

But onto my point, I wouldn't say mistreatment but apathy or lack of empathy. Yeah no ones owes me shit, i am well aware of that. I don't carry expectations besides decency but everyone has their own idea of what that looks like. I really suffered during highschool but can take a lot more now. I'm very analytical by nature so I'll read into things that are sometimes not there. Just remember most people have trouble communicating and when you're sensitive saying the wrong thing can be devastating. That's not on you, it's them.